Finding something intangible?

I've lost myself. I'm looking to find me.

I used to be someone. I was full of life, and intrigued about anything to learn. I used to paint, draw, photograph, explore, socialize, and travel. There wasn't an end to things I was interested in. I would sing one day, draw the other, pursue being an engineer, exercise, read up on astrology, anything that interested me. Then I would read academic papers, do analysis, projects, guitar, dress well and care about my appearance, and I was an intellect (I have over 140 credits to my name but have no degree to show for it). Now I don't do any of those things any more. I'm nobody and parts of me feel doesn't even care. I'm surrounded by my own depression. It feels like an internal struggle despite hardships around me.

The past 7-8 years has been rough. Things were relatively stable, but I wasn't emotionally stable. Mental illness took an all time high, lost many friends over the years, family situation got worse, dropped out of school multiple times, etc. However, 2013 was one of the best years of my life. I became close to the woman of my dreams but I then made mistakes that contributed to our end. Everything wasn't all bad over the years - there was lots of good, and I was somewhat stable - but overall, there has been many events that have taken a strain on me.

I want to find me. How do I find me? Am I holding myself back or is there an external influence?

Intangible seems correct in this instance. I think it would be best if you asked a specific question about medicine or health as it relates to your primary concern.

This question is so vague and broad - I can't imagine folks can give you an valid horary answer "what you are looking for."

Even Fensi would probably help you find your "mind" or your "confidence" if you think/believe you've lost it, (not joking).

Kitchy said:

Intangible seems correct in this instance. I think it would be best if you asked a specific question about medicine or health as it relates to your primary concern.

This question is so vague and broad - I can't imagine folks can give you an valid horary answer "what you are looking for."

Even Fensi would probably help you find your "mind" or your "confidence" if you think/believe you've lost it, (not joking).

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Can you think of the sense of self to be something? I was going to post on "Horary Questions on Lost items and missing people" but I couldn't even tell when I lost myself.

How could I word it better?

Kitchy said:

Intangible seems correct in this instance. I think it would be best if you asked a specific question about medicine or health as it relates to your primary concern.

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Kitchy, it's a first house question. Querent wants to know why he feels this way, and what to do next. I do think I'm moving this to general horary though.

Kitchy said:

This question is so vague and broad - I can't imagine folks can give you an valid horary answer "what you are looking for."

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"If the querent didn't know how to ask."

Someone should figure out if the chart is radical.

Rawndawndawnski, you really should either consult with a professional astrologer, or explore your natal chart. This chart can be read, but even if it were I don't think it will give you the answers you are looking for. Try posting natal in the RMC forum.

Kitchy said:

Even Fensi would probably help you find your "mind" or your "confidence" if you think/believe you've lost it, (not joking).

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Fensi is amazing.

tsmall said:

Rawndawndawnski, you really should either consult with a professional astrologer, or explore your natal chart. This chart can be read, but even if it were I don't think it will give you the answers you are looking for. Try posting natal in the RMC forum.

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Never did consult a professional astrologer before. I've done professional tarots, but never an astrologer.

Natal in the RMC forum? My birth chart?

Rawndawndawnski said:

Never did consult a professional astrologer before. I've done professional tarots, but never an astrologer.

Natal in the RMC forum? My birth chart?

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That could explain the nature of the question. Formulating tarot questions and formulating horary questions are completely different.

Yes. Your birth chart in the Read My Chart forum.