Conflict w/Mother

astrobunny

astrobunny

Well-known member
Since the summer started, I've been spending more time at home and noticing my personality clashing with my mom's. Lately, we've tended to disagree in regards to my father (he was abusive throughout their marriage & is still toxic for her to be around, which she acknowledges) and in regards to how she looks down on other women (especially women who are unmarried & sexually active).

I decided to look at our synastry charts and immediately noticed we have a Saturn-Moon square double whammy. I can see how that would manifest in us tending to censor each others' feelings. (I always feel like I'm such a crybaby compared to her.) I also noticed my Node squares her Mercury, and her Node conjuncts/opposes my Node, which I'm guessing adds to our communication issues.

Since we've both been around abuse, I tried looking at harsh aspects to Nessus in particular. (In our natals, Nessus conjuncts my Node and her Ascendant.) I know my Nessus squares her Mercury and Uranus & conjuncts her Ceres, and her Nessus opposes my Pluto & Ixion and conjuncts my Pallas. (All of these are within 2 degrees aside from the Nessus-Ceres conjunction which is 3 degrees.)

I'm not sure what to make of these aspects though, and was wondering if any of you had any insight regarding them or have seen them manifest in other charts/relationships.

Also, I looked at our composite, and noticed Pluto is smack dab on the descendant and Eris is on our ascendant. I'm not sure exactly how those would be interpreted in a composite between a mother and daughter or if they're significant at all though.

If anything sticks out to you or you have any advice, it is greatly appreciated.
 

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Jadi

Well-known member
Just wondering, can you find out where your Dejanira(157) is? It's the counterpart of Nessus in a way, maybe it's interesting for you to research that asteroid.
 
astrobunny

astrobunny

Well-known member
Jadi said:
Just wondering, can you find out where your Dejanira(157) is? It's the counterpart of Nessus in a way, maybe it's interesting for you to research that asteroid.
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I will research it tonight. Thank you for drawing it to my attention.

My Dejanira is in retrograde at Capricorn 24 degrees 52'32". I don't think it touches any of my mom's personal planets except for a sextile to Jupiter (with a 2 degree orb).
 

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Jadi

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Her Pluto/Mars/Dejanira on your descendant is probably doing something though. Dejanira is the place where we feel victimized, and when Pluto and Mars are involved it could escalate things.

The opposition from your Saturn impacts that combination, she might feel you're condescending or treating her like a child. Might.
 
theV

theV

Well-known member
and in regards to how she looks down on other women (especially women who are unmarried & sexually active).
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That is shown in her Pluto/Mars square Moon- her inner femininity and motherhood- Pluto/Moon women usually have a rocky/intense relationship with women and their feminine side. They tend to be a bully,an intense personality. They are also fierce, protective, overbearing mothers. Your grandmother must have been abusive or manipulative or emotionally controlling over your mother, and she is channeling her upbringing and her early childhood teaching.

Venus in Virgo inclines to sexual purity and Saturn in the 8th house sexual inhibitions/problem/restrictiveness. the reason she might look down on women who are sexually active. She has unresolved sexual problems. Was she sexually abused? there is possibility of sexual abuse.

Saturn is bad in Davison. It is a warning sign of a rocky relationship. I tend to avoid any relationship I see with Saturn. Davison Saturn opposite Davison Moon/Mars/Mercury- really restrictive relationship with a lot of repressed anger/hate left unresolved-

Venus/Pluto in davison chart explains your mother views on feminine and sexuality.

She is controlling dominating personality. Saturn 8th fears of losing control makes them try to control everything. Mars/Pluto is the sign of domination and control.
 
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astrobunny

astrobunny

Well-known member
Jadi said:
Her Pluto/Mars/Dejanira on your descendant is probably doing something though. Dejanira is the place where we feel victimized, and when Pluto and Mars are involved it could escalate things.

The opposition from your Saturn impacts that combination, she might feel you're condescending or treating her like a child. Might.
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I didn't think about how those three would activate my Descendant. That's interesting.

One aspect of our relationship is that I do sometimes tend to "parent" her, so I can be condescending at times. For instance, she and my little brother like to rough house/play with one another, but they get too rough and I sometimes intervene in order to get them to stop.

theV said:
That is shown in her Pluto/Mars square Moon- her inner femininity and motherhood- Pluto/Moon women usually have a rocky/intense relationship with women and their feminine side. They tend to be a bully,an intense personality. They are also fierce, protective, overbearing mothers. Your grandmother must have been abusive or manipulative or emotionally controlling over your mother, and she is channeling her upbringing and her early childhood teaching.

Venus in Virgo inclines to sexual purity and Saturn in the 8th house sexual inhibitions/problem/restrictiveness. the reason she might look down on women who are sexually active. She has unresolved sexual problems. Was she sexually abused? there is possibility of sexual abuse.

Saturn is bad in Davison. It is a warning sign of a rocky relationship. I tend to avoid any relationship I see with Saturn. Davison Saturn opposite Davison Moon/Mars/Mercury- really restrictive relationship with a lot of repressed anger/hate left unresolved-

Venus/Pluto in davison chart explains your mother views on feminine and sexuality.

She is controlling dominating personality. Saturn 8th fears of losing control makes them try to control everything. Mars/Pluto is the sign of domination and control.
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I did not know any of that about the Pluto/Moon women. My mom can be overbearing, and I have witnessed my grandmother emotionally manipulate my mom but now I'm wondering to what extent that may have occurred when she was growing up.

I do know she was sexually abused by my dad when they were married.

I don't know what kind of effect it has on her chart, but I just discovered today that the asteroid Sado is conjunct her descendant by one degree. I don't know if it's a large enough asteroid to be consider relevant or impacting though.
 
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