I am really desperated. HELP!

Hi! I´m new here and having a REALLY hard time with a very delicate situation at the moment.

A person reapeared out of the blue in my life after years of no contact. It was and still is the love of my life, but we both knew we can´t stay together. At that time, the person broke me completely who I was. It was one of the most traumatic experiences I´ve had. I´d say I didn´t suffer that much we I was raped as a kid, for example.
I thought I was doing fine all these years, that I had healed inside . When the person came to see me, it went all ackward. I got terrified. I am terrified. I don´t want to hurt the person, I don´t want to hurt myself. We are now more or less friends again. I am aware of the heavy pluto potential in my own chart and I am always trying to manage those energies the best way I can. In this case it´s driving me crazy. I cry a lot and my chest aches and I don´t know what to do . There´s a lot of pluto contacts happening between us,north node contacts, chiron too. God help me! He has planets falling in my 7th house (the sun and jupiter) and have opposite ascendants, so I suspect I am trapped in there... Is it true that the house person feels more the emotional burden?I want to work on all those heavy points and be again friends, good friends, to live in peace with this person but I am very much in pain. I am actually suffering too much. I´d appreciate any advice on relationships with heavy pluto AND chiron AND north node contacts AND 7th house AND asc/desc axis.

Flying blind here without seeing the charts. I'm not saying this is true for you in this case, but we can't be friends with everyone. There are people who we simply cannot have in our inner circle. If your desire to be friends with this person is motivated by the belief that you can't say NO, because you can't hurt him, then I'd say this belief is the real issue. If it isn't good for you, ultimately it won't be good for him either. I think you need to consider if you REALLY want to be friends. Sometimes it isn't worth it to have someone continuously poking at nodal/Chironic wounds. Sometimes saying NO is healing. That's just how I feel about it for myself. I've said no to old boyfriends wanting back into my life - because when I have said yes, it hasn't gone well. I know some people pull it off, but I think it depends upon how good the relationship was initially. If it wasn't good in the past, chances are, it won't be good in the present or future. Of course, if you want to use the relationship to grow - you can do that - and kudos to you for facing your challenges. But, if that's your choice, you'll need to find a way to deal with this terrible pain. You'll need to devise a healing plan for yourself.

Harmelia said:

Flying blind here without seeing the charts. I'm not saying this is true for you in this case, but we can't be friends with everyone. There are people who we simply cannot have in our inner circle. If your desire to be friends with this person is motivated by the belief that you can't say NO, because you can't hurt him, then I'd say this belief is the real issue. If it isn't good for you, ultimately it won't be good for him either. I think you need to consider if you REALLY want to be friends. Sometimes it isn't worth it to have someone continuously poking at nodal/Chironic wounds. Sometimes saying NO is healing. That's just how I feel about it for myself. I've said no to old boyfriends wanting back into my life - because when I have said yes, it hasn't gone well. I know some people pull it off, but I think it depends upon how good the relationship was initially. If it wasn't good in the past, chances are, it won't be good in the present or future. Of course, if you want to use the relationship to grow - you can do that - and kudos to you for facing your challenges. But, if that's your choice, you'll need to find a way to deal with this terrible pain. You'll need to devise a healing plan for yourself.

Click to expand...

Thank you so much for replying! I´d like to post our charts but in respect to him I don´t feel comfortable sharing his information. All this saturn and pluto transiting will still be the death of me if I don´t find the strength to deal with this specific situation.

paradiselost said:

Thank you so much for replying! I´d like to post our charts but in respect to him I don´t feel comfortable sharing his information. All this saturn and pluto transiting will still be the death of me if I don´t find the strength to deal with this specific situation.

Click to expand...

Then I must ask, what are the positive sides of Pluto and Saturn that you could be benefiting from? These transits do not have to be bad or painful - only if you aren't listening to them and the gift they are now bringing. That's how I look at it. You could post your own chart though and see what advice people might have in how to handle your situation.

Here we go:
This is a night chart:

MC in Libra in 10th House
- trine moon
- square Jupiter
- square Neptune
- trine north node (r)
- Opposite Lilith (r)

AC in Capricorn
- conjunct Jupiter
- sextile Saturn(r)
- opposite Chiron

Sun in Pisces in 3rd house
- trine Mars
- sextile Chiron

Moon in Leo in 8th house
- Square Pluto(r)
- Square Saturn(r)
- Opposite Jupiter
- Trine north node(r)
- Opposite Lilith(r)

Mercury in Pisces 3rd house
- Trine Mars
- Square Neptune
- Opposite Pluto(r)
- Sextile Chiron

Venus in Aquarius in 2nd house
- Square Mars
- Trine Pluto(r)
- Sextile Neptune
- Square Chiron

Mars in Scorpio ion 11th House
- Conjunct?( 9 degrees to Saturn)
- Conjunct Chiron


Jupiter in Capricorn in 12th
- Opposite North Node(r)
- Sextile Lilith(r)

Saturn(r) in Scorpio in 11th

Uranus in Capricorn in 12th
- conjunct North Node(r)

Neptune in Capricorn in 12th
- opposite Chiron
- sextile Pluto(r)

Pluto in Scorpio in 10th
- Opposite Chiron

Node North (r) in Gemini in 5th
- square Chiron

Chiron in Taurus in 5th

paradiselost said:

Here we go:
This is a night chart:

MC in Libra in 10th House
- trine moon
- square Jupiter
- square Neptune
- trine north node (r)
- Opposite Lilith (r)

AC in Capricorn
- conjunct Jupiter
- sextile Saturn(r)
- opposite Chiron

Sun in Pisces in 3rd house
- trine Mars
- sextile Chiron

Moon in Leo in 8th house
- Square Pluto(r)
- Square Saturn(r)
- Opposite Jupiter
- Trine north node(r)
- Opposite Lilith(r)

Mercury in Pisces 3rd house
- Trine Mars
- Square Neptune
- Opposite Pluto(r)
- Sextile Chiron

Venus in Aquarius in 2nd house
- Square Mars
- Trine Pluto(r)
- Sextile Neptune
- Square Chiron

Mars in Scorpio ion 11th House
- Conjunct?( 9 degrees to Saturn)
- Conjunct Chiron


Jupiter in Capricorn in 12th
- Opposite North Node(r)
- Sextile Lilith(r)

Saturn(r) in Scorpio in 11th

Uranus in Capricorn in 12th
- conjunct North Node(r)

Neptune in Capricorn in 12th
- opposite Chiron
- sextile Pluto(r)

Pluto in Scorpio in 10th
- Opposite Chiron

Node North (r) in Gemini in 5th
- square Chiron

Chiron in Taurus in 5th

Click to expand...

This is your chart? You went to a lot fo work here but I really need to see the chart - can you post your birth data or send it to me private message?