Insane Obsession.

I'm enough of this, I hate my chart, I do have some traits, but I just hate my chart.

And there I have a friend (she's a girl) who's a biggest coward of all, she has no interest in sports, she has no enthuiasm and is not competitive at all and yet she's a scorpio ascedant and mars scorpio and now she thinks she's the badass most powerful girl in this world, but she has no traits of scorpio!!
Yesterday I was at her home and asked for her birth certificate, because she knows I read astrology, she also reads astrology but not that much.

And then my chart, I have libra in mars! Libra in mars, first off I don't like that sign so much and then I see that sign placed in my mars! My head just exploded.
But to be honest I have nothing associated with libra.
I have so much traits of Scorpio such as: Intensity, I'm very self destructive,
I'm very brave, I can be very revengful and I get easily Obsessed with everything and I have powerful will power and I love power so much.
Just want to put one example of my obsession. When I was smaller as a child I was very obsessed with Intelligence, I though I was the smartest kid in this world, now when I think of that, I just want to puke. My new obsession is with bravery, character strenght and will. I just want to be brave to look fear at face and say yeah I'm stronger! And then when I'm in relationship I think i'm not worthy of that person if i'm not dare to let's say, die for her, or something even worse. But that applies to my girlfriend to if she's not willing to do that I would leave her.
And in past few years I hate everything, people everything I despite everything I'm jelaous of everyone.(don't ask why)
And I realised that I weight lift and do sports just because of my revenge, because as a child I was abused in my school.

I also want to say that I'm very jelaous of Scorpios and Aries(Because they're so "powerful") BTW, I did not mean to insult Libras, it's not that they're bad I just don't get along with them.
Forgot to mention that I
This is her Natal Chart:

Btw, I know this post was immature and stupid but I would love if someone could indicate what is causing all these thoughts in me? Could that be Mars sextile Pluto? Also the chart on the right side is mine.

Dude your super insecure wtf why. You need to calm yourself and not look at astrology so superficially.

Sorry I can't this is hard I can't calm down I can't play video games I can't go out with friends. I'm annoyed, and I'm stupid obviously.

Matrix1 said:

Sorry I can't this is hard I can't calm down I can't play video games I can't go out with friends. I'm annoyed, and I'm stupid obviously.

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You cant do those things why?

I'm calm now, but i'm wondering what could bring such thoughts.

Matrix1 said:

I'm calm now, but i'm wondering what could bring such thoughts.

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From yourself or interaction with the chart you posted?

Aspects or positions which cause tensions such as insecurity coupled with aggression, fustration..an energy block such as a non dealt with square or oppositition.

Based on chart, unfortunately I can't see that, maybe aspects between pluto? I have 9 aspects including minor aspects such as 2 inconjuction and 1 sesqui-square.

Matrix1 said:

Based on chart, unfortunately I can't see that, maybe aspects between pluto? I have 9 aspects including minor aspects such as 2 inconjuction and 1 sesqui-square.

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Ok but do you agree with my summary of your emotional state is the first question to determined. And yes definitly I believe pluto counts.

Sorry but I don't understand your question about emotional state?

Matrix1 said:

Sorry but I don't understand your question about emotional state?

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I am trying to figure out what energy you are trying to pinpoint in your chart from what you previously wrote. The personality traits I associated with your description and dymanic with the girl are at play and may feel diffrent to yourself, than I assume they are. There is almost a hint of disgust towards this young lady, and a labelling of her behaviour as weak for not displaying typical male gender traits. This then leads me to believe the issue rests more with you and others, rather than just you vs her. So maybe it is a personal struggle you are reflecting on to others. Though you are allowed to disagree with my assumptions .. maybe this energy is really brought to play with interaction between you and her. Then a composite chart might be interesting to view. Or it could be a mix of issues at play. My gut feeling is; again you are deflecting your own feelings of weakness, inadequacy and cowardlyness onto others. Your critical eye is raging.

Cellphone typos...

I hate to say this, but you are exhibiting all the characterisitcs that one could expect, and that we all go through in the stage called adolescence. This will change as your body systems calm down and you get into young adult hood.

You should go talk to a trusted adult about this stage of your life, IMO.

Zarathu said:

I hate to say this, but you are exhibiting all the characterisitcs that one could expect, and that we all go through in the stage called adolescence. This will change as your body systems calm down and you get into young adult hood.

You should go talk to a trusted adult about this stage of your life, IMO.

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Yeah that too but dealing with the anger in a destructive fashion.
*hormones are a biatch*

It has nothing to do with that girl i mean I just put example because she's the only friend I have who has very "powerful" and bold mars position and it's even in conjuction with pluto!

My main problem is that I'm really jelaous of people who have Aries and Scorpio signs because they don't have such traits and then they show off and I'm going in school where we usually talk about astrology alot.
This has got not that much to do with that girl as it has to do with other people who have powerful position and i'm very jelaous because they don't have such traits in them and I think I have the chart that Is really opposing my whole point in life. For example I always wanted to be a weight lifter and then my chart is gayish. I always wanted to be a solider and then I have cancer sun, virgo asc, pisces moon. libra mars. I always wanted to be something that has nothing to do with my natal chart maybe there are some placements that are saying I would be good at idk some sports and stuff but mostly my chart is based on something that I don't like, for example virgo asc I honestly don't like to serve no one, virgo would be good writer or something idk I hate writing and i'm bad at that, then 10th house in mercury and all of that, it's like a huge break for me because like I said my chart is somhow in a huge opposition to my free will, because I want to be something and then I look at my natal chart and it's like (No, no! You're destined to be a waiter, to be psychologist for example, like my faith is something that I don't want to be!)

Sorry on my english I wrote that fast and really reckless.

Anyways my main problem is jelaosy because I want to be the bravest, strongest, mentally, physically and my chart is not allowing that and there comes a jelly feeling of people who are scorpio and aries that have that power to become someone that I want to be! But I have many traits of scorpios that are maybe not shown in my chart, idk why. And I know i'm acting like a little kid but this is a huge problem to me.

I do not know where to begin so I will just say this, Yeah you are not really understanding yourself chart well. This is an issue of the ego and vast generalizations. You are letting emotional frustration and the opinion of other little weeds get you down. Remember this, people build them self up as a defense and to stroke their own egos. It has nothing to do with reality or correctness. It has to do with immature games and 'one-up-men-ship'.

If your jealousy and frustration is causing you such emotional distress, while trying to figure yourself out I suggest you focus on constructive ways to make yourself feel good and get outside yourself. You will never be happy being totally selfish, you need to express yourself in a more communal fashion. Go walk puppies or train to be a personal trainer or something. You will never be happy comparing yourself to others, this is a terrible trap of our current world.

Zarathu, I get your point and everything. Last year I was at psyhiatric (don't know how to write that properly). And I told her about my extreme thought and feeling when I'm in relationship, that I would die. etc for my girlfriend but that's just a little piece of those extreme thoughts and I somehow told her that but I was afraid to tell her that because I though she would think I'm crazy and she just gave me meds for relaxation and anti depression meds.

Btw, I usually ask my friends, would they die for their gf or a person they love and they usually say, nah, no. And that annoys me because I have different thought I usually ask them indirectly because they too would think I'm crazy, lol.

I see what you mean Love2know, but I get my natal chart too serious just like you said, i feel like i'm under control of that.

Matrix1 said:

Zarathu, I get your point and everything. Last year I was at psyhiatric (don't know how to write that properly). And I told her about my extreme thought and feeling when I'm in relationship, that I would die. etc for my girlfriend but that's just a little piece of those extreme thoughts and I somehow told her that but I was afraid to tell her that because I though she would think I'm crazy and she just gave me meds for relaxation and anti depression meds.

Btw, I usually ask my friends, would they die for their gf or a person they love and they usually say, nah, no. And that annoys me because I have different thought I usually ask them indirectly because they too would think I'm crazy, lol.

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Maybe you should reword your questions, because that really puts up a lot of red flags for people. If you go in talking about obsession and death they are going to throw every brain numbing drug at of you just out of liability issues. Maybe really try to get to the heart of the issues and not speak in a way of such dramatic intensity. People will hear you better and want to listen more to you when you say what you really mean, simply and honestly.

I was speaking to my closest friend who has a girlfriend and he says he really, really loves her and would do anything for her.
I said that's good for you and everything. then I asked him what would you do if something bad happened to her for example: If she was attacked by some men who wanted to, let's say either to kill her or rape her, (I mean i'm not only talking about girlfriends, it can be your brother, sister, father, mother, every person you like.) And then he answered to me exactly like this: I don't know I would probably run from them and save myself, I mean I really do love her so much, but no, I would run from them. I would do totally opossed way, I would kick the **** out of that guy even if i had to die, I don't care but I can't see a person that I love to be treated like that. But also I want to point that I would do only that if she or he is ready to put some efforts on me, for example if that person wouldn't save my life, I wouldn't save theirs too, I mean it's not that I wouldn't save their life, I would but I would never be a friend or a boyfriend to that person anymore and I would hate them for the rest of my life. Same applies to my parents, if they didn't save my life in same situation I would hate them and I would be very dissapointed in them.