Powerful relationship.. good or bad?

kmac

Member
My boyfriend and I, have had a rollercoaster of a relationship this past year since we started dating.
We both have venus square saturn natally, and so we also have it within our composite. I have heard since we both have it, it may be easier to deal with. But I see it challenging us every single day. However, I feel saturn's energy keeping us together as we learn and grow together throughout it.

We both have moon conjunct asc (mines in libra, his in sag)
He has stellium in 7th house - I have stellium in 9th house (opposite to our ascendant's -- which I think is interesting)
Both have had traumatic childhoods which make understanding each other increase our bond.
From our first date we were in love with each other. It has been intense since day one.

However, due to childhood issues- on going mental health, and external factors- our relationship suffers every day. We can physically feel the universe not wanting us together and trying to tear us down.
In one year, I completely changed who I was as a person, and I can see him changing from it. Both good and bad. We are often breaking up because we feel the other controls our emotions too much... but then end up back because we can't see each other without one another.

We have strong 8th house, scorpio (moon conjunct asc) and pluto energy in our composite. I have attached a picture.. just wanted to see anyones thoughts on it? Is it there too much power dynamics / odds against us?
 

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kimbermoon

Well-known member
This is the composite chart?

The overall dynamics of this chart show a strong suggestion of being a karmic relationship, thus the compulsion to continue on despite the hurdles and hiccups. Scorpio rising with Moon and Pluto in the first, shows themes of intense swings of power and control. Add that to the Venus sq Saturn, and things really heat up. I agree that Saturn is likely the glue that holds it together and expressing through Aries indicating that both of you can be intensely provocative one moment and fearful of showing the true self the next.

Sun sq Mars adds an element of competition which may be the underlying factor for tension and disagreements. It is not that the universe is trying to divert you from the involvement, but rather that on the karmic level you each have chosen the particular challenges of being together,in order to aid your mutual evolution.
It’s rather like a diamond in the rough waiting to be refined.

Moon is also afflicted by Saturn, showing there could be dependency issues also involved, which can often turn to feelings of frustration / resentment. Moon square Jupiter could be indicative of depressive /bi-polar tendencies which tend to boomerang off each other.

The Venus/Pluto alliance shows a karmic necessity is also involved, possibly involving past abuses
or violence that are needing to be attended to and purged.

Still the number of positive alliances shown by the blue lines may contribute to the ‘bonding’ underlying the relationship: a sense of having an understanding of common experiences. Perhaps the key is in being open and honest enough to have an open dialogue of what is going on between the two of you at the level of the psyche. This represents the true self within that tends to remain hidden from the outer persona.
 
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kmac

Member
This is the composite chart?

The overall dynamics of this chart show a strong suggestion of being a karmic relationship, thus the compulsion to continue on despite the hurdles and hiccups. Scorpio rising with Moon and Pluto in the first, shows themes of intense swings of power and control. Add that to the Venus sq Saturn, and things really heat up. I agree that Saturn is likely the glue that holds it together and expressing through Aries indicating that both of you can be intensely provocative one moment and fearful of showing the true self the next.

Sun sq Mars adds an element of competition which may be the underlying factor for tension and disagreements. It is not that the universe is trying to divert you from the involvement, but rather that on the karmic level you each have chosen the particular challenges of being together,in order to aid your mutual evolution.
It’s rather like a diamond in the rough waiting to be refined.

Moon is also afflicted by Saturn, showing there could be dependency issues also involved, which can often turn to feelings of frustration / resentment. Moon square Jupiter could be indicative of depressive /bi-polar tendencies which tend to boomerang off each other.

The Venus/Pluto alliance shows a karmic necessity is also involved, possibly involving past abuses
or violence that are needing to be attended to and purged.

Still the number of positive alliances shown by the blue lines may contribute to the ‘bonding’ underlying the relationship: a sense of having an understanding of common experiences. Perhaps the key is in being open and honest enough to have an open dialogue of what is going on between the two of you at the level of the psyche. This represents the true self within that tends to remain hidden from the outer persona.


Thank you for taking the time to respond kimbermoon, your insight has been extremely helpful. I know it is definitely a karmic one, and relate to everything you have mentioned.
There is quite a lot of dependency and resentment issues, and I have been diagnosed with BPD during this relationship, which I think the main cause of this diagnosis is from the relationship itself. I did not realize Moon square Jupiter had this type of negative impact -- going to do more research on this.

Majority of our issues within this relationship seem to stem from past abuses and trauma from previous relationships, both family and partnership. He is teaching me a lot about the issues that I have never dealt with, and I have done the same with him. We definitely mirror each other to that extent, and have always thought of this relationship to demonstrate a twin flame one -- but I feel like after reading your insight a little bit, it is more so, just straight karmic.

I hold on for those good things to get us through, but in the back of my mind, I know we can't live like this forever. But I truly love him more than anything.
 

kimbermoon

Well-known member
The true purpose of a relationship is about learning about ourselves as an individual and helping the other to do the same. It does require a lot of give and take, yet the most prominent ‘unrealistic ideal’ that people seem to carry is that the other will fulfill our own desires and needs. We can only do that for ourselves.

Co-dependency and resentment themes are a very difficult combination to deal with, without making internal compensations by each party.Without resolution and individual effort, the toll it can take on both parties
can be excessive. If you already struggle with dependency issues on your part, remaining in an unhealthy relationship is not the best choice for you. Even from a karmic standpoint, we must eventually learn the lessons mutually or move on. We are not meant to sacrifice our Soul in a relationship full on ongoing battles.

If the confrontations are not resolved in some way the themes will be passed on down through the offspring.
Unresolved karma from the past creates a genetic lineage that can go back over many generations.
If we continue to struggle with unresolved matters in a relationship, future generations that we contribute to will have to deal with the fallout again and again.

With Saturn being a karmic indicator, that energy demands that we be accountable for our own actions /decisions and be mindful of the consequences of creating harm to others.

If you are feeling an outcome in the back of your mind, that the relationship can’t go on forever, realize that the psychic ember will continue to grow by being buffered by continual bumps and bruises to the psyche, if the themes and patterns are allowed to continue to fester.

Are you getting any counselling help, or just trying to muddle through on your own?
 
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kmac

Member
The true purpose of a relationship is about learning about ourselves as an individual and helping the other to do the same. It does require a lot of give and take, yet the most prominent ‘unrealistic ideal’ that people seem to carry is that the other will fulfill our own desires and needs. We can only do that for ourselves.

Co-dependency and resentment themes are a very difficult combination to deal with, without making internal compensations by each party.Without resolution and individual effort, the toll it can take on both parties
can be excessive. If you already struggle with dependency issues on your part, remaining in an unhealthy relationship is not the best choice for you. Even from a karmic standpoint, we must eventually learn the lessons mutually or move on. We are not meant to sacrifice our Soul in a relationship full on ongoing battles.

If the confrontations are not resolved in some way the themes will be passed on down through the offspring.
Unresolved karma from the past creates a genetic lineage that can go back over many generations.
If we continue to struggle with unresolved matters in a relationship, future generations that we contribute to will have to deal with the fallout again and again.

With Saturn being a karmic indicator, that energy demands that we be accountable for our own actions /decisions and be mindful of the consequences of creating harm to others.

If you are feeling an outcome in the back of your mind, that the relationship can’t go on forever, realize that the psychic ember will continue to grow by being buffered by continual bumps and bruises to the psyche, if the themes and patterns are allowed to continue to fester.

Are you getting any counselling help, or just trying to muddle through on your own?


Yeah, I think he puts a lot of pressure on me to "cure" him in a sense, and save him from his past troubles. Much of the toxicity in our relationship, he blames his past, and never fully deals with. I have always been aware of the trauma and issues I face - so I am often able to recognize it while or after it happens. He refuses to ever accept responsibility. What you say really resonates with me, sacrificing our soul for the ongoing battle. I feel like I really sacrifice everything inside of me for him.


Its interesting you say that, as I believe my mom suffers from BPD as well - as I her and I have always had very similar problems in relationships. Hopefully I can solve this karmic theme... I used to deny for the first 8 months in our relationship that there would ever be an end, because we seemed so perfect. But it changed so fast. I saw the end immediately, and still see it. But I have always had a problem with completely letting go, when I see the good in someone and see the potential they have.

Only time will tell...

I was seeing a therapist, but my insurance reached its max coverage for therapy for the year, so I plan to go in the new year when it resets. I did not find that much of a difference. I more so saw the change when I was relying on yoga, meditation and self-reflection..

Thanks again for your words and wisdom!
 

kshantaram

Premium Member
the composite :


do share reflections n specific feedbacks how true-insightful-helpful,
traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas,


Lords 1/7 mars-venus over virgo-cancer, 3/11, unfriendly signs-lords mer-moon,
mere forced dutiful relationship sans charm;

Cancer-moon 9th inimical-malefic for scorpio asc,
9th lord moon debilated scorpio asc,
secretive, suspicious, sentimental, sarcastic, passionate;
research-occult aptitudes;
wear pearls over jupiter finger in silver ring;

9th lord sun negating to 8th, negating luck;
sun-mer gemini, analytical, confused at decision making;
chronic chest-lung issues;

Venus 7th lord over inimical cancer 8th,
sickness of spouse, chronic health issues - kidneys etc;


Asc lord mars with NNode virgo 10th, hyper-critical thinking,
good for audit-quality-editorial roles;
rise-fall in life, toxic health issues;
prayers for ancestors, observe fasts on No-moon evenings;
observe death anniversaries religiously;
wear brown hessonite over pendant;

ketu separtive SNode over pisces 4th, hyper-sensitive/emotional;
detachment from mother-motherland-property;
pain-injury-surgery heart-lungs-feet etc;
prayers to Christ, offer red flowes at alter at home thurs evenings;

Sat debilated aries 5th for luck-education-romance-children-position;
aptitude for mechanics-social work-public admin;
sat elevated aspect libra 11th for income-gains;
sat 5th negating employment prospects;
wear steel ring over middle saturn finger;

moon elevated aspect taurus 7th, protective of marriage-vocation;


jup acq 3rd reformist, advisory aptitudes;
jup aspect leo 9th supportive of luck-edu-travels;
jup as lord 4th negating to 3rd, negating mother-motherland;
prayers to saint of faith, offer yellow flowers sat mornings;
may wear yellow sapphire over pendant touching heart;

currently jup-sat-ketu separative SNode transit cap 2nd,
detachment from family-finances, earnings in distant lands,
pain-injury-surgery throat-thyroid-teeth-knees;


Sat cap opp venus, craving for affections but difficult to manifest;
rahu transit venus cancer 8th, toxic heatlh issues clouding relationship;


do promptly ack n share ground feedbacks how true etc etc


wishing well, kshantaram
 
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