Lost and unmotivated

egbplus

Member
Hello,

I've been pretty depressed lately, and I'd be grateful for any advice on how to focus my energy.

All I've ever really wanted is a great partner. Maybe, that says that I just want to be taken care of. It disappoints me to admit that because I feel like I'm supposed to be stronger, but that's all that I've been thinking about for the last several years. I have no motivation to pursue anything as an individual. Any thoughts of improving myself and making money and finding interesting things to do has always revolved around my low self esteem, and my belief that I need to become more desirable to potential suitors.

I am not passionate about anything that I do, and I always end up failing. I can't seem to stay motivated for much longer than a month at a time. Still, I can't seem to let go of my dream of having a fairy tale relationship. I feel like I'm stuck because I can't let the dream die, but I also don't believe that I'm strong enough to work towards realizing the dream on my own. I don't have any friends, and loneliness always finds it's way back into my life to derail me.
 

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conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Most of your chart activity is happening in the houses of the 7th and the 10th - so it is expected that there will be a focus on partnerships as well as the actions you take in the world.

There is indications of a hopeless romantic - one who is prone to placing there partner on a pedestal. One could even say that you are the type who needs a love relationship in your life and barring that, dreams of an idyllic woman occupies your thoughts.


What is your current situation regarding meeting people and socializing? This will get the ball rolling towards finding that person who tickles your fancy but you need to be cautious that you don't put unrealistic expectations on any developments. Take it slow at the outset to spare your feelings if things don't work out. If you are having trouble remaining objective consult someone who is more objective and honest who you can trust.

Your chart is difficult in the fact that there is an emphasis on the mutable quality which could describe one who finds it hard to maintain momentum in any one direction. The strength of a highly mutable chart is its ability for adaptation and change. In that sense, it is better for you not to beat up yourself over your lack of focus but embrace that side of you and use it to your advantage. What are some of your hobbies?
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
I forgot to mention that it is both Saturn and Mars transiting through Sagittarius seems to be the trigger for your current feelings of inadequacy and frustration.
 

egbplus

Member
I definitely feel like the hopeless romantic. I have always wanted a relationship more than anything, and my expectations for a relationship are very high. I didn't understand in my younger years why I was seemingly the only person who was always alone, but eventually I reasoned that it was because I wasn't worthy of my expectations. I really turned into a perfectionist.

My current situation is that I don't meet people. I don't have any friends or any kind of support system. I had my first relationship at 25, which was only a 2 month, online relationship that didn't go anywhere. I'm not very comfortable going out, and I don't really have any money to do so anyway. I'm pretty much sick of dating sites and chat rooms.

As far as hobbies, playing video games is my main hobby. I have some musical ability, but I've never had the discipline necessary to cultivate it, and since I'm a perfectionist, I've never gone anywhere with that.
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
I definitely feel like the hopeless romantic. I have always wanted a relationship more than anything, and my expectations for a relationship are very high. I didn't understand in my younger years why I was seemingly the only person who was always alone, but eventually I reasoned that it was because I wasn't worthy of my expectations. I really turned into a perfectionist.

My current situation is that I don't meet people. I don't have any friends or any kind of support system. I had my first relationship at 25, which was only a 2 month, online relationship that didn't go anywhere. I'm not very comfortable going out, and I don't really have any money to do so anyway. I'm pretty much sick of dating sites and chat rooms.

As far as hobbies, playing video games is my main hobby. I have some musical ability, but I've never had the discipline necessary to cultivate it, and since I'm a perfectionist, I've never gone anywhere with that.

I was going to suggest the online route but it seems you have exhausted that already.

There is no two ways about it then, you will have to take your efforts out into the real world, that is the only way you will attain any sort of relationship that satisfies you. There doesn't seem to be a powerful/compelling physicality to your chart so the physical aspect of the relationship may not hold as much importance as the emotional/spiritual. But I can at least say in my experience that a real life flesh and blood link to the one you love is loads better than through a computer screen.

If you aren't an outside person, you can start small by just taking walks around your community/town and just observing people and scenes around you. Don't put pressure on yourself to interact with anyone initially, just acclimatize yourself to the world around you.
 
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