Indicators of Avoidant personality/Shyness....

A.M., If it's not a big deal, could you please erase the second post that I made? Thank you, L.

Virgo?
I have a Virgo Rising and Moon... It's not easy for me to melt in a few seconds for someone...
I can seem like an ice king...

But with me, it's not something for ever
I mean, once someone is in my life, I open up soon
I'm like an open book, but some pages must not be read :38:

H12 as an indicator of shyness?
Sun ruler house 12, opposed to Neptune, trine Pluto (in 3)...
When i was younger, i was more shy... But Moon rules early childhood... It's in Virgo... I was always writing

I would believe that Virgo/Capricorn rising would create shyness,altough aspects to the Ascendant would soften the shyness(or make it even worse).Saturn in the first house would probably be held accountable for shyness problems as well-Saturn in the1st creates a lot of insecurity and feelings of being inferior to others.

Anyway-I'm a Capricorn rising with Saturn(3ºAquarius)in the1st,and shyness is definitly a problem for me(I get shy around5year old children!).

My 4 year old daughter sure has the shy factor going on. i sometimes think she turns it off and on when she wants, but also think it could be a heightened sensitivity to vibes around her. some vibes cause her guard to go up, others do not. she is also a bonafide thumb sucker. used for security reasons, when she's tired along with her blankie (added security). i do not have time right now to look into all her astro details.
So for others with the shy factor, were you thumb suckers and if so, how old were you when you quit?
2rainbows

I so empathize with you : Moon in Pisces tends to often be quite introverted because of it's heightened sensitivity. I suffered much of the same type of hyper-reactions as you: butterflies in the stomache, sweaty palms and social anxiety.

other indications of SHYNESS:

Capricorn rising with Neptune rising in the 12th - the moon or neptune conjunct the AC is highly indicative of this

SUN/PLUTO SCORPIO 10TH HOUSE - you may shine quite well on stage while at the same time suffer deeply on the Soul level. Others are drawn to your sexuality and projection of confidence and control, but in certain situations others may see you as being 'intimidating' and fear that you may have underlying hidden motivations. The transformative action of Pluto will eventually require you to redefine your identity and heal the gap between your inner and outer selves.

Saturn conjunct Mercury - tendency towards withdrawal and depression
Saturn in Scorpio - blockages channelled through sexual energies

Mercury / Saturn joined with South Node - karmic overtones

Venus/Uranus joined [ non-conformity and impulsiveness in relationships]
expectations out of sync with the norm; unusual or afflicted sense of self]
in the 12th house: [secrets, reclusiveness]

abundance of water, lack of air: socially uncomfortable or awkward. Needs the development of Air [social expressiveness] for balancing.

Scorpio Sun: you have the ability to beguile, control or manipulate others in your public activities, however your lessons in life are about Control over the emotions, rather than being a slave to them.

Lissa,
Hang in there. I can understand your shyness. I have a cap asc too with Saturn conjuncting it.

I have had to make an effort to be optimistic and friendly on the outside. People tell me I'm warm and friendly (aqua sun, gem moon). But it has taken a conscious effort to get there. When you think of Aqua sun/Gem moon, you think we are party animals, two air signs that love to talk lol! However, astro.com hit it on the nose...... it is a very reserved combo, hard to get to know, tho intellectually oriented.

But the shyness is mostly that cap going on. I HATE crowds and I have always been the first one to sneak out of loud parties, areas, gatherings. I try and blend in for a moment (please don't notice me!) then bolt lol! blessings, tb

Hi Pixy,

I have been through the shyness thing and share a few things. I remember a time before people called me shy, when I was four I was more outgoing and loud. I have been labelled quiet reserved etc, by others, it kind of blocked me into being shy. Over the years I have noticed that I am very sensitive to what people say, imagining slights where there are none, but often sensitive to those who are not there in my best interests too.

I have Jupiter 1H and a water moon (cancer) and mars in capricorn. Jupiter in my case is retrograde in Gemini a sign that has been linked to shyness even though an air sign. I have inner belief but there is nothing really external that would indicate a first house jupiter. My Cancer moon is where my sensitivity lies. My mother and grandmother both had grand water trines like me and they sure protected themselves. I feel things, like people leave sticky bits of themselves on me.

I need to spend time on my own to process all the stuff I pick up static whatever, and use meditation to clear other people from my space. Crystals and positive visualisation I use too. The more aware I am of what is mine and what to get rid of the better I relate to people. I am shy for a reason, and part of that is a reminder to myself to protect me.

The stage (neptune) also provides protection and separation from the masses. Performers are often necessarily sensitive in order to access and express something not easily seen or felt or experieince. The performance amplifies something on stage that is not available to the audience off stage.

However I am in my forties and still wonder whether people are not ringing me on purpose. Then I realise they are just too busy with their lives to even think about it. Then I make the calls myself. This sensitivity is just part of me.

A cool book I found is called "Psychic Protection" by William Bloom. It is actually very straightforward and an easy read. Ideas like just shaking yourself silly so you can change the emotional head space. And it works!

I noticed also that you have cancer on the descendant which maybe an indicator that an emotionally nuturing space provided by others is something that is really good for you. Aries on the nadir can show a strong personal force/identity deeply rooted in the core of you.

I had a much more supportive environment in my upbringing yet I was very sensitive to continual agruements between my parents. I think that I picked up on some very strong negative vibes very early that I didn't talk to anyone about could explain, and they were therefore never resolved in a positive way for me. I retreated instead because that was my best option at the time for self preservation. Chiron in 5th may or may not point to something similar with yourself. If no one picks up the sensitivity when you are young and teaches you how to deal with it how can you expect yourself to naturally develop these talents. They are skills easily learnt but with all things be gentle with yourself and accepting and be the teacher to yourself that would have been perfect when you were young.

You have a strong chart that will support your growth and trust is something that is earnt over time, so you will know the people who you can be open with.

Love and Light
Flea

I am very shy I have Saturn in the 1st/Virgo (asc) Saturn is Conjunct my Asc and opposes my Sun in Pisces. I have Moon in Pisces and Mercury in Pisces square to Neptune. Venus is in Capricorn.

I am very socially reserved. Very anxious and fearful of meeting new people. I hate feeling this way. It holds me back in life, I avoid social situations if I can, I feel so inferior being like this. I have tried not to be like this but when I do try and be more sociable and friendly and then fail miserably I feel even worse for trying. I look at other women who feel so confident about themselves, who can go out and feel good about who they are (or even if they don't feel good inside, they are able to project confidence.) which gets them by in life.

I also hate it when people tell you to stop being shy, like it is something you choose to be. Like you enjoy feeling uncomfortable and unable to act confident in a situation, like you enjoy feeling inferior to everyone on the planet. I wish it was something which could be changed overnight, and I could wake up the next day and live my life without feeling anxious about new situations and meeting people. What probably makes it worse is my oversensitivity as well, and caring so much about what other people think of me. My value lies in other people's opinion of me. I hate that side of my personality, the people pleaser who doesn't want to upset people. Or lets people push in front of her, walk all over her. I have not an ounce of assertiveness in me. My Sun/Saturn being so tight on the asc/dsc of my chart is probably the main reason for this social anxiety. And extreme shyness.

My sister is like the complete opposite to me but she has lots of Sagittarius in her chart so lots of energy, enthusiasm, and joy. She also has Moon in Aries square Mars so there is no walking all over her. She has a Virgo Asc like me and she is quiet at first but she warms up a lot quicker, because of her more natural friendliness. Maybe we were born as sisters to learn something off each other.

Good thread.

It sounds like a lot of the posters are confusing social anxiety/avoidant personality with shyness. According to a book on social anxiety I read, the two are not the same. Social anxiety/phobia is the marked, persistent fear of social situations. People with social anxiety/phobia are extremely self-conscious and afraid of being judged, which leads them to never being relaxed in social situations. Shyness, on the other hand, is a wariness of strangers. Shy people may not necessarily be afraid or anxious of people, but it takes a while for them to warm up to others.

The reason I am so knowledgeable about social anxiety is because I am a social anxiety sufferer. I feel that this shows up in my chart mainly in my Virgo ascendant (Virgo is a sign that is filled with nervous energy, and has a reputation of being reserved), my Aries moon opposite Venus in Libra (which indicates possible social problems, especially with women), and the fact that nine out of ten of my planets are below the horizon. My Libra sun and Aries moon supposedly indicate an extroverted nature, but neither planet aspects my ascendant. I truly feel that I am showing the world a face (my Virgo ascendant) that does not accurately represent who I am (my Libra sun and Aries moon).

EvilPixyScorp said:

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Dear
By Vedic astrology nature of this chart is saying by "Dreshkana" (nature of person) This chart is describing that all Stars are having place from 10th to 2nd and this type person not a open person to other world.
Sun Sco.24.2 Feminine, dressed in dirty clothes, vessels on head, collects metal pieces in a blanket, in a forest of cotton trees.
Moon in Pic.54.12Feminine, quadruped, a woman wearing red clothes, fond of dressing up, pot belly, face resembles a horse, looks tired with thirst, standing on one foot.
Mercury Sco.16.54Feminine, serpent, a beautiful lady shorn of her clothes and ornaments, travelling from the middle of the lake to the shore, snakes have coiled around her legs.
Venus Seg.17.34Feminine, golden color, body covered with a wet white silk, tall, vessels on hand, going to a temple.

i used to be very shy as a child, but as soon as i warmed up to somebody i could relax and be myself, however when i hit my teens i got bullied and verbally abused frequently at the same time my parents were also going through a divorce, i've witnessed many violent physical fights between my parents and have had to separate the two of them so it was a terrible time for me. i began to withdraw and became very introverted and eventually became a recluse. i feel i have social anxiety, i have intense anxiety and i avoid social situations at all costs. whenever i'm in a social situation my heart pounds, i sweat, shake, i'm short of breath and my body also becomes stiff. i never go out and i drink a large amount of alcohol before i have to go out anywhere which involves social situations, such as college, which i know, is very bad! but it's the only way it helps me to open up, my counsellor won't give me meds or refer me to a psychologist.

please, is there anything in my natal chart which may indicate social anxiety or shyness?

thanks in advance!

Dear,
Today your Moon in fifth and making more and more past thinking about yorself.The lord of 7th in the 6th house,and also in the position of destroying himself.Mars in the 8th house,destroying the image of friendship and desires,also there are more power to destroying communications.The 6th Jupiter giving helps to Saturn in 2nd house,and Saturn converitn the good to bad by the abusing.(Saturn in 2nd gives abusive talk and 8th mars mix the power of destroying).The time of this type disconectivity up to 10th September 2007.After this time there are a good soul is coming to give your desired things from the nature.God bless you.

Communication...
Mercury's in Virgo in 4 but intercepted...
Part of grand trine in Earth... so only good aspects...

Sun in 3 in Leo...
Normally very communicative and entertaining...
But making a quincunx to Saturn in Cap...
And part of a T square with Mars conjunct Moon (Asc Ruler) in 12 (house of addictions!) opposed to Pluto (in 5, almost 6)...
So communication, natural sunshine is under fire...

Don't misuse alcohol...
I know it sounds preachy, but you're so young, you have so much for you...

rebellion, to Tamara

Tamara,

Uranus (friends, also rebellion) conjunct (energy is combined with) your Descendant (others), indicates either being around rebellious (maybe violent) people or being rebellious yourself. Now that you understand this is a "playing out" of your OWN rebellion, seek out people who do things "differently" who aren't ashamed of their own specialness. You will most likely feel more comfortable around these "rebels" than in the more typical people out there. Perhaps join an astrology club (Uranus rules astrology) and enjoy the "rebellions" of the members there.

Remember that, when we're children we are helpless to do anything other than react to our surroundings. We HAVE to trust our surroundings to be safe, even if they aren't. But once we grow up and STOP being children, we can take our power back and make our OWN decisions. All people are NOT looking for a fight all the time. Find the nice ones out there, talk to them, settle down, and stay away from parties! Parties are all about social pressure and you DON'T need that.

And, as you know, alcohol is a depressant, it makes a person LESS able to cope or react to situations around them. So let go of the alcohol, make a few "strange" friends and create the future YOU want to have!

Creating the future,

Tim

I agree with Tim--make friends with a maverick!

Arian Maverick

I feel I can really relate to everyone on this thread. As a kid I was always the shy and quiet type and have remained that way ever since. I think that my shyness has increased over the years, it's basically turned into a type of social anxiety. I also have a tendency to seem very cold, when actually I'm very sensitive. I think it's due to having Neptune and Saturn conjunct my ascendant which is in Capricorn. What I don't understand is, most people here seem to have an abundance of water or fire element in their charts which causes some of things they're talking about, while I only have one planet in water with an abundance of the earth element. Perhaps it's because the planet which is in the water element (pluto in scorpio) is on my midheaven which aspects my ascendant, that causes some similar effects to everyone else here.

Sometimes I find I can be very outgoing and slightly eccentric, or so people tell me after they've known me for a good while. I can sort of relate to whoever was posting about their stripper friend. I absolutely love performing such as singing or something that's drama related but otherwise I can a real hermit as times. Perhaps it's uranus on the ascendant or my aquarius sun or whatever.

I have to agree about Uranus in seventh house. It indicates by some an extremely intelligent mate or you yourself becomes a extraordinary. I have found there is a lot more to it. LOL, Be a maverick for sure. I agree on that one.
Be different and enjoy it, if not you will draw in some highly unusual people and the could be unstable. That is the last thing you need. I have Cap rising and not a Leo sun sign for sure. So, believe me I have not always been out there being ms extroversion.
The seventh house and 12th are your least aware houses.

Sorry to hear about your parents. It is hard when both parents argue and fight.

You have moon trine mercury. What a gift. emotions and logic working well together.

Your sun is opposed neptune, tricky and be wary of something that sounds too good to be true.
By progressions, in about 3 to 5 years, Venus will progress to your sun. A time of wonderful beginnings.

Hi Pixie,

Given that your Mercury lies in scorpio, I would imagine there is much depth in your thoughts but these are not so easy to express with a conjunction to saturn as this tends to block or dampen verbal expression.

Neptune, the ruler of your natal third house is located in the 12th which may indicate that "you are most at home when your thoughts & ideas aren't verbalised" (neptune at home in the 12th). It also conjuncts your ascendant in capricorn giving a certain seriousness on first meeting.

However, there is always a flipside.

Mercury conjunct saturn can give determination & focus....great mental strength and the ability to overcome with age (we grow into our saturn)those voices in our heads that initially stop us or scare us from moving forward. You may not realise it now, but Mercury in the 11th conj saturn in the 10th can indicate the ability to talk to the masses...imparting what you know, clearly and thoroughly (teaching ?)

As for that Neptune so happy where it is...learn to love it and the sensitivity it gives you......it's a blessing. And listen to what your dreams are telling you.

WilsonTC.....the "first planet to cross the Ascendant" is Pluto, not Neptune. Pluto is the "Leading Planet" of the Bundle Pattern here, and is in "High Focus" in the chart.

It so happens that Neptune is both exactly conjunct the Asc and is also very near the midpoint of Pluto/Moon, giving it a central role in the personality (delusion/illusion at the forefront and powerful), but it is not the Leading planet that Marks refers to.

Note that Pluto, apart from being the Super-powerful Leading Planet also occupies the Executive position of Sole Dispositor. This is a power-hungry Pluto gone amok; Saturn is the vice-regent because he demands obeisance from all the other planets before he hands them over to Pluto, and is Lord of the Horoscope as well.

The Sun is horribly "under duress" and has no way out.