Dont worry Curious Girl. In horary for instance, Pluto takes a backstage part or no part at all, probably also in electional charts, unless of course you do not follow traditional horary rules.
Pluto is the ruler of my Ascendant (modern ruler that is) and I dont have problems with him. He makes me think deeply about life and things that are happening around me (he is in my 9th) and I think it brings meaning to my life, because if I am not sort of forced to look deeper inside myself, a very Plutonian thing, and try to get rid of emotional rubbish and clinging tendencies, I dont think I would have evolved or changed into the person I am now. I sometimes almost feel sorry for people who will never experience a Pluto transiting the Ascendant in their lives. It makes you into a new person, one you DO like, admire and love. And you know what? Pluto makes you brave and often turns you into a person who all of a sudden realizes that they are so much stronger than they ever thought of themselves.At least that is my experience. Pluto is really not something to be afraid of. Saturn is far more of a problem because he tends to block your initiative. OK, you are learning certain lessons as well, true, but with Pluto it is a better way of integrating. Saturn goes too fast for that and upsets often for 2 years the house he transits through.
Pluto always makes you look into the mirror. He is very truthful in a way because he asks you: Do you REALLY need all this or that in your life? How about chucking it away and start a new way of life or go into a new direction or look for another partner who really makes you happy. He actually helps you on your way towards real happiness. That is what I strongly experience with Pluto transits.
Sometimes Pluto can bring death, and that is of course less pleasant. But death is a part of life. And again, we learn to let go and move on.
Does this help a little?