Mars in Aries in XII House

Hi all,
I have Mars in Aries in XII house. Its definitely something I have been struggling with my whole life. I think I am perceived as extremely feminine ( I feel I seem that way in videos I see of myself) but I have definitely always struggled with how I feel -- the balance of masculinity and femininity.

I have a really keen sense of my body/mannerisms internally. My movements are always deliberate even if I am uncertain myself.. which can be very frustrating and leave me flustered... if I walk into a room of people and feel they are watching me I get really clumsy.. almost out of tune with my own body as its doing its deliberate movements...

I tend (especially if nervous) to need to have something to do... and esp if I'm neverous I speed it up (aries full tild 100mph) I'm really learning to slow down when I'm uncertain.. walk more slowly... stop if I don't know what to do next. That is my biggest lesson at the moment.

I guess my question is what have you guys heard about Mars in XII .. I really have made it my life's main purpose to learn about this aspect .. as if its the purpose of my journey here...
tips pointers or things to focus on would be appreciated!

Hello, stardust11

This position of Mars at it's highest manifestation can be visualized as a shark making its way smoothly through the ocean waters or as a samurai defeating his enemy with his eyes shut. If you do not feel this way then you are probably trying to control you spirit (12 house) by your physique (Mars in Aries). While it should be the other way around and you've got a potential for it.
My advice would be: try practicing yoga or tai chi. It will help you to bring your spirit and your physical manifestations to a wonderful balance.

Wow. That is incredible information thank you.

Its very ironic..

At a young age I was always a shaker and a mover (of course) .. my parents put me in ballet as do most parents of little girls... well it stuck. I ended up training at a very prestigious classical russian school. It was always my escape until I met my first boyfriend (very manipulative) who convinced me that I couldn't possibly have decided what I wanted to do for the rest of my life at such a young age. And he was tired of taking "back burner" to ballet. Frankly I was tired and a little burned out... but regardless I ended up quitting and passing up an opportunity of a lifetime.. which definitely only knocked once.

As I learned more about this aspect of myself I realized that my life almost prepared me to conquer it... feeling now as though I blew it (and a little lost) ...
I take yoga twice a week and teach and take ballet classes (for exercise) .. but its just not the same as doing it everyday..

I guess now I feel as though that was really my life's purpose and don't think I'll ever get it back to the same magnitude. But regardless I guess the point I'm trying to make is that your words just spoke volumes to me. I can excel in a class where the teacher tells me what to do. I have full bodily awareness.. nearly perfect placement. My biggest obstacle is physical liberty... free reign of my body...

Are you saying that I need to let go and let my body do what it does (like the samurai) and stop over thinking it and involving my brain/spirit?

Not exactly let go. It seems to me that you are just not yet prepared to let go you see. But you are definitely on the right way as you've been taking yoga classes and that should help you to get your mind and body in balance.
But you will have to go further as the 12 house requires. 12th is the house of God (simply speaking) and in this case Mars in 12th can be called "a hand of god". So at the highest manifestations of this aspect you should be able to find yourself acting in the most perfect way possible but not as a result of physical training only. You are going to need to combine your physical skills with your intuition, inner feeling.
Meditation helps a lot in this case and also some martial art practices, especially those that include interacting with your enemy/partner while having your eyes shut.

As for the opportunity of your lifetime that you think you've missed, you probably shouldn't be that much concerned as our chances are many in many different fields and sometimes you will be surprised by the ways people get to their goals
If you can place your chart here we could of take a look at the Nodes and see what are you destined to

Ohhh you are giving me such incredible advice and information. I didn't know the 12 house was the house of god.. I just thought it was sort of like your karmic journey.

Does that mean that god/life will give you the obstacles you need to overcome this aspect?

If I can see correctly (as the picture is a bit small) your North Node is in the 12th house too. Which means that the purpose of your current incarnation is becoming a spiritual person. In your former life you've been paying too much attention to your daily routines, maybe have been a workaholic even. So in this life your goal is spiritual growth.
In this case - yes - most likely life will put some obstacles on your way but only for you to study while overcoming them.
So don't be sorry if your manipulative boyfriend drove you away from the dancing carrier most likely it was for the best. Now you can turn to your true purpose, study psychology maybe, meditation, some spiritual practices, psychoanalysis - anything that will click with your soul. You don't have to refuse completely from your physical practices, let them be the basis for your new direction.

Wow. you are incredible. Thank you so much... this is like.. life changing.. sending love to you.. Namaste!!

Good luck on your new paths! Namaste!!