How to feel fulfilled

graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
katydid said:
:whistling::cool:
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Amazing...

If dreams are important I had a dream that I had been (or was being told about) being a very sick infant. I heard for the first time some weeks ago that my parents had been to a genetic counselor and heard that if they tried for another kid they'd have a 1/4th chance of me ending up like my brother (extremely ill for a year and a half, feeding tube, surgery, etc) and they did it anyway. Between that and apparently getting hit on the head so hard my "personality changed" when I was younger gives the impression that I'm not really meant to be here. I don't know.

Cats seem to adore me, but then, they always pay special attention to things that aren't there, I think.
http://www.astrologyweekly.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/
 
conspiracy theorist

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Interesting bit about bumping your head, I also had a head injury at 2 (Mars conjunct asc) where I had to be rushed to the hospital. I healed quite nicely however.

Do you have a prominent birthmark?
 
graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
conspiracy theorist said:
Interesting bit about bumping your head, I also had a head injury at 2 (Mars conjunct asc) where I had to be rushed to the hospital. I healed quite nicely however.

Do you have a prominent birthmark?
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Nope.

I don't know if I went to the hospital but apparently I lost consciousness. Parents and other old folks liked to recall me as being super outgoing and then suddenly...not so much. :annoyed: I do not remember any of this, mind.
 
conspiracy theorist

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
graay ghost said:
Nope.

I don't know if I went to the hospital but apparently I lost consciousness. Parents and other old folks liked to recall me as being super outgoing and then suddenly...not so much. :annoyed: I do not remember any of this, mind.
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Yeah, that's a pretty roundabout way of Mars altering your personality innit.
 
Oddity

Oddity

Well-known member
graay ghost said:
This has bothered me. Why should I pay a penance for something I did not do?
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Some people are of the belief that we reincarnate, and that we must pay for actions in past lifetimes in our current lifetime.

You are under no obligation to believe in past lives or that you must do penance for a putative former life in this life if you do not find the concept to be useful. Astrology works just fine without it, and in the western astrological tradition there is no discussion of past lives or karma.
 
graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
Oddity said:
Some people are of the belief that we reincarnate, and that we must pay for actions in past lifetimes in our current lifetime.

You are under no obligation to believe in past lives or that you must do penance for a putative former life in this life if you do not find the concept to be useful. Astrology works just fine without it, and in the western astrological tradition there is no discussion of past lives or karma.
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Even if one does believe in reincarnation the question still stands. People have no memories of past lives. They are effectively not even the same person -- why should they pay? In fact it seems like more of a cosmic injustice to force people to pay for things that they are unaware of ever doing than how "karma" as described by the people of these boards is supposed to play out.
 
K

katydid

Well-known member
graay ghost said:
Even if one does believe in reincarnation the question still stands. People have no memories of past lives. They are effectively not even the same person -- why should they pay? In fact it seems like more of a cosmic injustice to force people to pay for things that they are unaware of ever doing than how "karma" as described by the people of these boards is supposed to play out.
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Some people do have past life memories. I did a regression workshop and did have some visualizations that feel like memories to me. But who knows?

Right or wrong, my 8th house/12th house energy, leans towards a strong belief in reincarnation. It is a very personal thing. If it doesn't work for you, that is all good.

I have seen a lot of dissatisfaction and emotional disappointment surrounding the 29th degree of Cancer. It feels to me like it is a deep longing and a feeling of deep dissatisfaction, often with no clear reason for the sorrow.

Perhaps you absorbed some painful feelings/grief/sadness when you were in utero and an infant. I think you said something about your parents being concerned about having another child because of potential diffixlulties/health issues. Maybe you absorbed some of their fear/dread/anxiety when you were very very young?
 
graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
katydid said:
Some people do have past life memories. I did a regression workshop and did have some visualizations that feel like memories to me. But who knows?
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Memories are incredibly fickle things. In fact it's pretty easy to implant false memories of things that did not happen in this life, which is pretty scary, and I notice a lot that my version of events do not match up with other people's :pouty:.

So excuse me if I remain unconvinced -- even if one remembers something does not mean that one was responsible for the thing they remember.

katydid said:
Right or wrong, my 8th house/12th house energy, leans towards a strong belief in reincarnation. It is a very personal thing. If it doesn't work for you, that is all good.

I have seen a lot of dissatisfaction and emotional disappointment surrounding the 29th degree of Cancer. It feels to me like it is a deep longing and a feeling of deep dissatisfaction, often with no clear reason for the sorrow.

Perhaps you absorbed some painful feelings/grief/sadness when you were in utero and an infant. I think you said something about your parents being concerned about having another child because of potential diffixlulties/health issues. Maybe you absorbed some of their fear/dread/anxiety when you were very very young?
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I've heard that all water > fire cusps are pretty bad.

I mean I guess it's possible. It just seems... irresponsible to know what they knew and then go ahead with it anyway.
 
K

katydid

Well-known member
graay ghost said:
Memories are incredibly fickle things. In fact it's pretty easy to implant false memories of things that did not happen in this life, which is pretty scary, and I notice a lot that my version of events do not match up with other people's :pouty:.

So excuse me if I remain unconvinced -- even if one remembers something does not mean that one was responsible for the thing they remember.



I've heard that all water > fire cusps are pretty bad.

I mean I guess it's possible. It just seems... irresponsible to know what they knew and then go ahead with it anyway.
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No problem. I am not trying to convince you of anything. I am just describing how I feel about it.

A belief in reincarnation is like a spiritual or religious belief. It is a personal thing. No need to try and convince anyone else, in my opinion. People just have an inner knowing or they don't. :sideways:

I am not sure that I agree that your parents were being 'irresponsible' by having another child, even knowing there MIGHT be genetic concerns.

I think every couple has concerns, valid ones, about having a child. Every family has some history of genetic issues, some more than others. But if we chose not to have children because we were worried about potential health problems, very few babies would be born.

The way I look at it, they wanted you very much and wanted to take a chance, in spite of their concerns. :wink:

I am not sure why you feel 'invisible.' Were you overlooked at home because they needed to pay special attention to your older sibling with health problems?
 
AppLeo

AppLeo

Well-known member
graay ghost said:
I am not sure how to explain. I don't know if I have many of the same problems of the people here but I am, and I think I have always been gnawingly empty. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be doing something else instead of what I am doing, or if I just need to learn to enjoy the whooshing noises.

I do think my chart shows that I'm probably a terrible person so maybe I need to learn how to be okay with being bad? There's a certain ring to that, I guess.
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Where do people get the idea that their bad people, especially from a chart? People can choose to be good or bad; astrology doesn't decide your goodness or badness; you just gotta work with the energies you have in a positive manner.

And I feel gnawingly empty, too. I think everyone does at some point, but it doesn't last forever. You have your moon in capricorn and in the 8th house, so I'm not surprised if you feel more "empty" than others.
 
graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
AppLeo said:
Where do people get the idea that their bad people, especially from a chart? People can choose to be good or bad; astrology doesn't decide your goodness or badness; you just gotta work with the energies you have in a positive manner.

And I feel gnawingly empty, too. I think everyone does at some point, but it doesn't last forever. You have your moon in capricorn and in the 8th house, so I'm not surprised if you feel more "empty" than others.
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I get the idea because I have to expend every last drop of energy I have not hurting people. It's an enormous burden. That's the only way this energy can possibly be used positively because otherwise it'll turn sour.
 
AppLeo

AppLeo

Well-known member
graay ghost said:
I get the idea because I have to expend every last drop of energy I have not hurting people. It's an enormous burden. That's the only way this energy can possibly be used positively because otherwise it'll turn sour.
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): you make it sound so awful. What specifically in your chart do you feel like is "negative"
 
graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
AppLeo said:
): you make it sound so awful. What specifically in your chart do you feel like is "negative"
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Mars ASC
Pluto DESC
Mars opp Pluto
Saturn 10th
Saturn square Pluto
Saturn square Mars
Moon Capricorn
Moon 8th
Jupiter Virgo
Mercury opp Saturn
Mars square Mercury
Pluto square Mercury
NN 8th house
POF conjunct Antares
Pluto trine Venus
Venus 29th degree Cancer
Sun opp Neptune
Sun opp Uranus
Venus under the beams

Am I missing anything? I could go on about things I personally don't approve of that aren't "bad" but I think the list is long enough.
 
AppLeo

AppLeo

Well-known member
graay ghost said:
Mars ASC
Pluto DESC
Mars opp Pluto
Saturn 10th
Saturn square Pluto
Saturn square Mars
Moon Capricorn
Moon 8th
Jupiter Virgo
Mercury opp Saturn
Mars square Mercury
Pluto square Mercury
NN 8th house
POF conjunct Antares
Pluto trine Venus
Venus 29th degree Cancer
Sun opp Neptune
Sun opp Uranus
Venus under the beams

Am I missing anything? I could go on about things I personally don't approve of that aren't "bad" but I think the list is long enough.
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No, I think you got the majority of placements. Is Jupiter in Virgo really that bad? And I thought venus trine pluto would be a good thing. Yeah, it's intense, but it's a trine and the orb is quite large so it's not that intense.. but anyway

If you're feeling empty, instead of using astrology, maybe you should seek other healing methods like a therapist or meditation. Maybe even get a doctors check-up? And I know little about transits, but maybe a harsh transit is happening to you right now and in time things will go back to normal.
 
graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
AppLeo said:
No, I think you got the majority of placements. Is Jupiter in Virgo really that bad? And I thought venus trine pluto would be a good thing. Yeah, it's intense, but it's a trine and the orb is quite large so it's not that intense.. but anyway

If you're feeling empty, instead of using astrology, maybe you should seek other healing methods like a therapist or meditation. Maybe even get a doctors check-up? And I know little about transits, but maybe a harsh transit is happening to you right now and in time things will go back to normal.
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Jupiter is the traditional ruler of Pisces and is in detriment in Virgo, and considering it's a benific, yes that is not good.

And why would Venus trine Pluto not be bad? You yourself associated it with narcissism.

I do not know why you think that would help. This is completely normal for me. Empty is normal. Bad is normal. It will only get worse, I think. And then eventually I'll die, I guess? That's life.
 
AppLeo

AppLeo

Well-known member
graay ghost said:
Jupiter is the traditional ruler of Pisces and is in detriment in Virgo, and considering it's a benific, yes that is not good.

And why would Venus trine Pluto not be bad? You yourself associated it with narcissism.

I do not know why you think that would help. This is completely normal for me. Empty is normal. Bad is normal. It will only get worse, I think. And then eventually I'll die, I guess? That's life.
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The orb is very large and it's a trine, so I wouldn't think it would be that much of a problem. And it was an idea that is was associated with narcissism. All of the narcissistic things linked to pluto-venus have been harsh aspects, anyway.

But feeling the way you're feeling shouldn't be normal when you're normal. I think it's obvious why it would help. You could get the help or knowledge you need to live a happy and fulfilled life. I don't understand how you can conclude that this is what life is. You gotta choose to be happy and work at it. Sorry, I'm not like a life coach haha. It can't hurt to seek other healing methods though. Maybe you have a chemical imbalance in your brain? I don't know; it's just sad when people seem to have "given up."
 
graay ghost

graay ghost

Well-known member
conspiracy theorist said:
It might sound paradoxical, but I wonder if some people are happy or even "meant" to be sad. Many go through life without that positive go get'em attitude but they reach the end of the line anyway.
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Well of course they reach "the end of the line". Reaching "the end of the line" is, at this point in time, an inevitable consequence of living in the first place. It's not much of an accomplishment, IMO.
 
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