Bad life.. Bad luck.. Bad moment.. HELP ME PLEASEE !!!! :/

Hi to everyone, I am so dessesperate about finding why all this things happened to me. I am so tired of myself rigth now, when I was a child, in my primary school, I had a classroom mate that touched me many times, and forced me to kiss him and do other things, in my childhood neighborhood also was other person that forced me as well, but sometimes we did it because we both wanted it, and this kind of things made me grow as a teenager that couldnt afirm its sexuality well and make healthy friends and relationships during my growing. In my secondary school, again, couldnt relate well to people and suffered bullying, because like I couldnt make friends of my gender, people use to insult me as a sissy, gay or a dumb person and I went mostly to the classrooms, to sleep. I ended high school to the worst way, because I had no friend and no promotion, I didnt wanted to be there. Like in 2009, I met this guy, he was a Libra, he hurted me so much you guys cant imagine!!, but we were also really true true friends! I think we both fell in love with each other, or maybe I was confused about the relationship we had, like we were in the pool and he was touching me or hugging me, but at 15 I think I was really innocent to understand that( Maybe I didnt grow emotionally enough) or like we both spend our time all days and all weekends with other friend and we were inseparables!! and one day he told me that he loved me, but I ignored it and i think he got tired to try to win a gay relationship or maybe was so bad because of what people were going to think about us!! and he was also a soccer player so that was another point for not accepting our thing. So ony day after 2 years of hidding my feelings, I tolf him the worst way I could my feelings, by facebook, and he told me was my friend and he diddnt know what to think, etc then my mom found out this and didnt let him watch me again, and we started insulting ourselves, because he forgot me and I was obssesed with him so much that he hurted my feeling really bad at the point I wanted to kill my self seriously!1 :¨( He had his Sun in my 4th, His Moon in Libra in my 5th, His Venus in Libra in my 5th, and his Jupiter in sag in my 7vth, how perfect wouldnt it be? Bad thing, his Mars in scorpio conjuncting of my Venus in scorpio( regent of fifth love house) . Now Ive got no friends and this person told my neighborhood friends about my sexual preference, and I even dont know if I am gay, straigth or bi, Im confused rigth now. Im actually at the university because my mom forced me to enter, and Im stressed, with cronical anxiety, Ive been going to the psychologist, but I think d¿they dont really understand at the 100% my problems, had soft depression, obsessive thougths, phobias, hated myself, bad- self -steem, I really thougth to kill myself, and for topping it!: I have a bad relationship with my family, the best with my mom, I love her, but sometimes she cant really understand me, it feels horrible!! So I needed to see in what way I could explain these facts and then I thougth Astrology!!.. I am so appreciated that you guys took your precious time To read this and would like to hear your opinions about my chart, I know little of astrology of what ive been researching and I would like to see if there is some problem here or maybe God send me with this pathethic and suffered life, I know there are other people worst than me, but my inner suffering is big . And if there is something good.. Maybe the good thing about myself is that... I dont know I feel so bad rigth know.. I hope you can say me something, I have Mars in opposition to Saturn and Moon opposition Uranus, this bad aspects i see :/ THANK YOU SO MUCH. take care and I hope you can let me see why I am LIKE THIS and IF there is a Hope that i cant get rid off my emotional anxiety and my bad luck in relationships and bad sel-esteem . Thanks again!

Here is my natal chart:

is mars opp saturn giving me all this experiencies?

Hey, Transits show different themes going on depending on the aspect and house. Allot of time you may not even feel the transit because you progressions set off different events. Then, if you look @ your solar return it show you the potential for the next yr. Sounds like you are depressed....i would suggest going to a therapist and getting some meds to help with the anxiety and depressing.
T

Thank you for your opinion Tootsie, I am going to the psychologist, Yes im depressed and with anxiety, but I told him I didnt want to take anxiety pills because that has awful secundary effects and creates co-dependency :/.
But do you see something good in my chart or any important point? I would likefor you or other person to give me an insigth if know please!! thanks

I'm so sorry to hear about all the suffering you're going through, AcidLove. I believe things will get better for you so don't give up yet !

Life is bittersweet, some days are filled with happiness and joy and some are filled with grief and suffering, that's how life goes, you never know what could happen tomorrow, you can become rich overnight, you can meet the perfect man but also you could lose the closest person to your heart, your life can simply end at any moment. So just because you're having bad time right now that does not mean you're bound to suffer. keep up the hope because that's what you should do, when you get rid of all negative energy around your thinking, good things will start to happen.
I suggest that you see another psychologist and try to come to terms with your past, your inner demons and your sexuality first. Sexuality is a very sensitive part of who we are and it should never be ignored or neglected.
If people can not accept you for who you are then it's their problem, not yours. Live for yourself, for who you want to be and not for what people think you should be. Homophobic people are pathetic excuse of humans so never bother yourself about what they think.
Have more confidence in yourself, go out, have fun, join new activity clubs, meet new people, try a new haircut or a new clothing style, it will make you feel refreshed and more open to change.
You have your Moon in Leo 0° degree and that's alone enough to make any person quite emotional and sensitive to outsider factors.
I hope that helps, and remember, never let your despair and fear consume you or you will become yourself worst enemy. You hold your own future in the palm of your hand.