Everyone around me has turned me into a monster and nobody sees me for who I am

Growing up I always felt like the world wanted to see me suffer and I must have done something to deserve it, but the older I get the more I realize that I’m surrounded by genuinely terrible people who have contributed to ruining my life, yet everybody seems to think I’m the toxic one.

I feel like these people are seen as saints and martyrs for tolerating me, yet I’m the one sacrificing and suffering and having my life and mental health ruined without any recognition or sympathy. The people closest to me think I’m a monster, even if they start out liking or idolizing me because I make a good first impression and am extremely attractive. The ones who barely know me are the only people who seem to like me but I keep them at a distance for fear they’ll end up screwing me up as well.

It’s absolutely devastating knowing how much people seem to like me until they get closer. Not one person thinks I’m a positive influence in the world and it hurts because those closest to me who should understand me see me as the worst.

Can someone read my chart and tell my why people keep thinking I’m a toxic person and forcing me to act like a monster? Will it get any better? Is there anything positive in my life at all?

https://imgur.com/a/wjlzKmC

This is your PERCEPTION but it's not reality. At least not based on the chart you posted.

BUT your big & main aspect of is overwhelming you & your thinking process has become so negative that you are indeed toxic.
Who wants to be around someone who thinks everyone is against them & an 'enemy'.

You need a MAJOR attitude change. Nobody wants to be around a 'Debbie Downer' or a 'Holier-than-thou' person who thinks they are so 'good' & everyone else is 'so bad'.

12th 3rd needs to be assimilated & not rule your life. Right now, you seethe in silence thinking of all the ways people are 'sabotagin' you. But it's all based on your wrong thinking & it needs to stop if you want to grow as a person & be a good member of the human race.

Read up about that transit.

Then make a change in your thinking. Start by writing down every day 10 things that you are grateful for, even if it's just for having food & water to drink & a roof over your head. Many people don't even have the basics in life.

can work for you (be being responsible, hard-working, grounded, materialstic for we all want material things in life)...but can work against you & become 'satanic' meaning you take on all the negative traits of the planet.

Life can be joy jupiter or it can be a burden saturn

The choice is yours.

Imunfazed said:

Growing up I always felt like the world wanted to see me suffer and I must have done something to deserve it, but the older I get the more I realize that I’m surrounded by genuinely terrible people who have contributed to ruining my life, yet everybody seems to think I’m the toxic one.

I feel like these people are seen as saints and martyrs for tolerating me, yet I’m the one sacrificing and suffering and having my life and mental health ruined without any recognition or sympathy. The people closest to me think I’m a monster, even if they start out liking or idolizing me because I make a good first impression and am extremely attractive. The ones who barely know me are the only people who seem to like me but I keep them at a distance for fear they’ll end up screwing me up as well.

It’s absolutely devastating knowing how much people seem to like me until they get closer. Not one person thinks I’m a positive influence in the world and it hurts because those closest to me who should understand me see me as the worst.

Can someone read my chart and tell my why people keep thinking I’m a toxic person and forcing me to act like a monster? Will it get any better? Is there anything positive in my life at all?

https://imgur.com/a/wjlzKmC

Click to expand...

And you have Ascendant which can cause major confusion with REALITY & FANTASY.


You need to put on a rational thinking cap & not follow your 'feelings' about the world around you because it's all wrong, it's all distorted.

Are there people around you who are toxic? I'm sure there are. We ALL experience this whether it's in our own family or 'friends'.

But you have made everyone an 'enemy'.

Remember the saying "No man is my enemy, no man is my friend, every one is my Teacher'.

Learn from others.

And grow into the beautiful soul you were meant to be.

Imunfazed said:

Growing up I always felt like the world wanted to see me suffer and I must have done something to deserve it, but the older I get the more I realize that I’m surrounded by genuinely terrible people who have contributed to ruining my life, yet everybody seems to think I’m the toxic one.

I feel like these people are seen as saints and martyrs for tolerating me, yet I’m the one sacrificing and suffering and having my life and mental health ruined without any recognition or sympathy. The people closest to me think I’m a monster, even if they start out liking or idolizing me because I make a good first impression and am extremely attractive. The ones who barely know me are the only people who seem to like me but I keep them at a distance for fear they’ll end up screwing me up as well.

It’s absolutely devastating knowing how much people seem to like me until they get closer. Not one person thinks I’m a positive influence in the world and it hurts because those closest to me who should understand me see me as the worst.

Can someone read my chart and tell my why people keep thinking I’m a toxic person and forcing me to act like a monster? Will it get any better? Is there anything positive in my life at all?

https://imgur.com/a/wjlzKmC

Click to expand...

You are still very young. You have plenty of time to sort these misunderstandings and distortions out so you can live a normal, happy life. But to do so you will need some professional help so you can figure out these difficult impulses and confusing insights.

You have a very difficult aspect between Saturn and your Sun, the sense of self.
Saturn square Sun is very pronounced in your chart. This aspect can cause difficulties early in life with self-esteem as a result of criticism from people, especially authority figures like your father.

He may be too rough on you and you may be too hard on yourself. As a result, you may be overly self-critical and suffer from poor self-esteem. If you judge yourself too harshly, other people will do the same, reinforcing this negativity.

The confusion that others feel is partially coming from within you as well. You need to love and accept yourself before you can trust others to do the same.

No one can 'force' you to act like a monster. You need to unpack that complicated concept and figure out what is really going on.

Please take the time and resources to get the kind of help and wisdom you need to help you sort out these complicated feelings you have inside. Otherwise they can sabotage you and make your life very difficult.

When someone has only posted once, I usually hesitate to do a reading because they quite often don't check back in.

I wish they would because this is a difficult chart for a young person to begin working through.

katydid said:

When someone has only posted once, I usually hesitate to do a reading because they quite often don't check back in.

I wish they would because this is a difficult chart for a young person to begin working through.

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I’m sorry for not being able to reply. My roommate is evicting me so I’ve been busy with the move.

Imunfazed said:

I’m sorry for not being able to reply. My roommate is evicting me so I’ve been busy with the move.

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Sorry you are going through that hassle. Please check back in when you can though. We want to help answer your questions.

Reaching out to learn about your chart is a wise move.