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Unread 11-04-2016, 04:26 AM
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Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

Can someone please tell me what you would look for in a natal chart that shows a person attracting narcissistic types of ppl?

I was thinking a strong 12th house because narcissists tend to go after self sacrificing ppl for some reason. And also those 12th house planets aspecting either strong martian planets or martian houses that represent other ppl.

I think that the self sacrifier's lesson in meeting the narcissisist time and time again is to learn to love yourself and do what's best for you more than you already do.

What do you think.

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Unread 11-04-2016, 07:55 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

I think the easiest pray for narcissists are people with personal traits of vulnerability, weak emotional boundaries, low self esteem,...

I'm not experienced in astrology, but I would say there are many indicators of this traits. Strong Chiron in hard aspects, Neptune in hard aspects to certain planets, certain positions of Venus, Moon, ... Among signs Cancer, probably Pisces,...

It would be interesting to hear other opinions. Providing there is an agreement what narcissism is.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 09:28 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by demetraceres View Post
I think the easiest pray for narcissists are people with personal traits of vulnerability, weak emotional boundaries, low self esteem,...

I'm not experienced in astrology, but I would say there are many indicators of this traits. Strong Chiron in hard aspects, Neptune in hard aspects to certain planets, certain positions of Venus, Moon, ... Among signs Cancer, probably Pisces,...

It would be interesting to hear other opinions. Providing there is an agreement what narcissism is.
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...ad.php?t=99154

Cancer will wise up and will then become stronger, Cancer is not a weak sign, outwardly when people know us we are soft, but we have massive armor.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 12:12 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by demetraceres View Post
I think the easiest pray for narcissists are people with personal traits of vulnerability, weak emotional boundaries, low self esteem,...

I'm not experienced in astrology, but I would say there are many indicators of this traits. Strong Chiron in hard aspects, Neptune in hard aspects to certain planets, certain positions of Venus, Moon, ... Among signs Cancer, probably Pisces,...

It would be interesting to hear other opinions. Providing there is an agreement what narcissism is.
Bingo. I actually experience this which is why I started the thread. Throughout my life I get loads and loads of narcissists chasing me and I have to be rude and tell them to F off, but they still keep hovering around. I hate it. I try so hard to blo*ody avoid them and I want to get on with my life without them, but they keep putting themselves in front of me and staring at me all day it's driving me nuts!! Maybe they need purity from other genuine ppl cos they don't have it themselves.

It's true that they want to be around ppl with low self esteem cos it makes them feel better. I mean how many times have u seen narcissists who surround themselves with obese friends with marriage problems and no friends?
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Unread 11-04-2016, 01:05 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

Look at houses 4 and 10. If someone keeps attracting narcissists, it's often because one of the parents was one.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 01:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
Can someone please tell me what you would look for in a natal chart that shows a person attracting narcissistic types of ppl?

I was thinking a strong 12th house because narcissists tend to go after self sacrificing ppl for some reason. And also those 12th house planets aspecting either strong martian planets or martian houses that represent other ppl.

I think that the self sacrifier's lesson in meeting the narcissisist time and time again is to learn to love yourself and do what's best for you more than you already do.

What do you think.
To start with, it would be helpful to define what narcissist means, because it has a specific psychological definition.
As I understand that definition, I don't think narcissists discriminate as to whom they act upon. After all, it is all about themselves, not who they act upon. And self sacrificing people attract all kinds of people because of their concern for all others.

I would expect that people with poor self esteem tend not to attract many people, as that way of being tends to be off-putting.

It would be to whom those w/poor self esteem are attracted that may be the queston, and they are likely attracted to dominant types to help them. They might also be attracted to others with lower self esteem who they can help or dominate, as the case may be.

So I don't think narcissists are attracted to a particular type and that you may have had a string of unfortunate luck.

Last edited by IleneK; 11-04-2016 at 02:13 PM.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 02:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by graay ghost View Post
Look at houses 4 and 10. If someone keeps attracting narcissists, it's often because one of the parents was one.
Case histories might suggest that if your parent was as a narcissist, it is much more likely that you will BE one than you will attract one.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 02:29 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

I'm not sure their would-be suitors can be classified as narcissists, but two of my cousins both have 12th house Mars and they attract selfish men to them like flames to moths.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 02:36 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

I think people can attract narcissists if they have...

- harsh venus-neptune aspect
- lots of planets in the 7th house
- lots of planets in the 8th house
- lots of planets in the 12th house
- neptune aspects in general
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Unread 11-04-2016, 02:42 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

People with strong Pisces or Neptune emphasis, when they lack boundaries or get into victim mode.

Last edited by Bina; 11-04-2016 at 02:45 PM.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 02:46 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

This is such an interesting thread topic. I have a tendency to attract those who are the manipulative type, guys and girls! Having planets in the 7th house is a good one, as your identity is seen through others, creating a permeable wall.

It would be interesting to hear what someone has who isn't a narcissist, and doesn't have victim-tendencies. Because the funny thing is, people like that can be around narcissist, vampire-types and come out of it un-scathed...or even turn the narcissist into the one doing the bidding for them. That makes the victim look even more delusional because not everyone is effected in the same way as everyone else by predator types.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IleneK View Post
Case histories might suggest that if your parent was as a narcissist, it is much more likely that you will BE one than you will attract one.

Source? Children of narcissists are often abused and have problems with intimacy and boundaries. They often have very evident behaviors that signify abuse. These are like a red carpet for other narcissists.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 10:14 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by graay ghost View Post
Look at houses 4 and 10. If someone keeps attracting narcissists, it's often because one of the parents was one.
Oh thank you, this is very useful. The 4th ruler (dad) is in 1st house and he is self absorbed and has no time for anyone, but he still doesn't have those qualities of chasing you and talking about himself till no end and blocking you if you are in the spotlight and he's not overboard. But in relation to 4th house I do see step mum, and mother inlaw were narcs.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 10:34 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by IleneK View Post
To start with, it would be helpful to define what narcissist means, because it has a specific psychological definition.
As I understand that definition, I don't think narcissists discriminate as to whom they act upon. After all, it is all about themselves, not who they act upon. And self sacrificing people attract all kinds of people because of their concern for all others.

I would expect that people with poor self esteem tend not to attract many people, as that way of being tends to be off-putting.

It would be to whom those w/poor self esteem are attracted that may be the queston, and they are likely attracted to dominant types to help them. They might also be attracted to others with lower self esteem who they can help or dominate, as the case may be.

So I don't think narcissists are attracted to a particular type and that you may have had a string of unfortunate luck.
Here is the definition of narcissists I experience -

A person who wants every single person in the room of a party or school or church or shop or anywhere to think they are the most beautiful and interesting person there to look at and talk to and praise and pay attention to. A person who is extremely outraged and sick at the thought that there may be someone out there who is younger, smarter, wealthier, a better cook or better father, mother. Extremely bothered by the potential that someone out there may be liked more than them. They are terrible parents. They want so much attention they cant handle the youth and looks and love and happiness of their children and they try to bring the spotlight back to them and the ppl they attract and how amazing they think they were when they were kids too. The narc will get jealous of the kid's dating period and the sports and hobbies they are involved in because once again, the attention is not on them. The narc talks about themselves a lot. They are also hugely detrimental to their kids because instead of their kids being nurtured and loved and brought up to grow and learn for themselves, they are taught by the narc parent to spend all of their time and energy thinking about the narc. To serve the narc and to have the narcs best interests met. It is true that for some periods the parent will show what looks like love and care by buying the kids something nice, but it is only right before showing off to other ppl to show how apparently successful they are. The children of narcs suffer and as someone here mentioned they end up having intimacy issues and difficulty relating to others because they were trained to pay all attention to the narc or suffer greatly. The obsession of the narc is huge. I'm sure I have more to add but this is what pops out at me this time.

Now, to answer your question as to why I attract them - firstly, I'm extremely repulsed by them because I can see their false actions in their aim to get attention. That doesn't work with me. You cant fake it to get my attention, you have to be genuine, which a narc cant do. But maybe I'm here to teach them this. A lot of the times I see narcs doing bad behaviour to get attention and once again, I don't believe in rewarding them with attention if it is a bad behaviour. And funny enough, my son has taken after my mother in law (a narc) and we are working on his behaviour with the speech therapist and it is doing wonders. Now, back to what I was saying, Narcs hate me because 'I don't give them the attention they so desperately crave.' So that's why they keep chasing me. All these narcs in my life are in my 1st house. And me and my mum and brother and cousins are in the 12th house.

On the topic of self esteem, in my personal opinion I find narcs to have low self esteem because I think that if a person needs that much attention and needs to talk so much about themselves, then they are insecure. However at university they told me the opposite. They said that ppl who talk about themselves on a regular basis have high self esteem. Well, I just cant help but see the weakness. Maybe other ppl are fooled but I can see the weakness clearly.

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Unread 11-04-2016, 10:49 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by astrobunny View Post
I'm not sure their would-be suitors can be classified as narcissists, but two of my cousins both have 12th house Mars and they attract selfish men to them like flames to moths.
Yes partners in the 12th house is not good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AppLeo View Post
I think people can attract narcissists if they have...

- harsh venus-neptune aspect
- lots of planets in the 7th house
- lots of planets in the 8th house
- lots of planets in the 12th house
- neptune aspects in general
Thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IleneK View Post
Case histories might suggest that if your parent was as a narcissist, it is much more likely that you will BE one than you will attract one.
Well I would have to say I'm a mixture of both parents. I've seen it go both ways. There are two parents and grandparents so the child can take after anyone. My mil (narc) had 4 children and only one of them is a narc but they all have problems relating to ppl. Funny how narcs can be. They can marry just for attention, not love, and convince through acting that they are in love. Then the partner suffers through the marriage when they discover who they really married. And then you get the narcs who think they are too good to be in a relationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bina View Post
People with strong Pisces or Neptune emphasis, when they lack boundaries or get into victim mode.
I agree this is a possibility. 12th house and pisces seems to play a bit role. Perhaps because this sign wants to see the best in people and narcs think they can play around with that.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 10:55 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by Bluebell87 View Post
This is such an interesting thread topic. I have a tendency to attract those who are the manipulative type, guys and girls! Having planets in the 7th house is a good one, as your identity is seen through others, creating a permeable wall.

It would be interesting to hear what someone has who isn't a narcissist, and doesn't have victim-tendencies. Because the funny thing is, people like that can be around narcissist, vampire-types and come out of it un-scathed...or even turn the narcissist into the one doing the bidding for them. That makes the victim look even more delusional because not everyone is effected in the same way as everyone else by predator types.
You know what? I have seen what kinds of ppl go well with narcs, and they are narcs themselves. Every single one of them. They seem to have respect for each other or maybe they just know they cant walk all over them so they find someone else to suck blood out of. So I'm thinking of a former friend who is a narc and when she came across another narc I knew I was amazed that they didn't even touch each other, and there was no tension at all, no jealousy, they just didn't go near. Amazing. Maybe they were too busy thinking about themselves and finding their next victim that they couldn't even see each other. It seemed as though they had respect for each other being narcs, which I don't. But this friend who was a narc, she only ever did what was best for her. She never let her husband see his mother, they did everything she wanted to do and nothing he wanted to do. It was a very one sided relationship like what I had with her until I broke it off. She doesn't know the meaning of compromise even though she tries to act like she does. Yet I'm someone who plays fair and likes equal relationships and I don't want my partner only doing what I want. that would make life pretty boring. but if this is what attracts narcs then I better put my narc shield up if I'm to get rid of them. Yay, I answered my mystery. Thanks .

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Unread 11-04-2016, 11:04 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Source? Children of narcissists are often abused and have problems with intimacy and boundaries. They often have very evident behaviors that signify abuse. These are like a red carpet for other narcissists.
This is very true and unfortunate. I've seen many many cases of this.
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Unread 11-04-2016, 11:08 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

So now that I have all this info. I'm wondering if y'all can help me figure something out. If I am a 12th house libra and I experience a slow planet transiting through aries, the sign of narcissism in opposition to the scales, what do I do? I say this because as Uranus has transited through aries I have met unlimited amounts of narcs and being a peaceful compromising 12th house libra has not helped one bit. So what do u do? Become a narc during the transit so u don't get eaten alive?
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Unread 11-04-2016, 11:26 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Thank you.
You're welcome!
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Unread 11-05-2016, 01:52 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Source? Children of narcissists are often abused and have problems with intimacy and boundaries. They often have very evident behaviors that signify abuse. These are like a red carpet for other narcissists.
Narcissism is incredible self-involvement, all about the self, not others. It can be either grandiose or self-denigrating. Thinking you know everything, are always right, or the opposite.

So a traditional grandiose narcissist can have an abused, damaged child who is incredibly negatively self-focused on his or her damage, abuse. It is a negative narcissism, but narcissism, never the less. And it results in the inability to be close to anyone as you describe, just like the grandiose parent really can't get close, be intimate, with anyone. And both kinds of narcissists have boundary problems, neither type ever really knowing where their boundaries begin or end. Negative narcissists may be red carpets from grandiose ones, but they are both narcissists just the same.
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Unread 11-05-2016, 02:03 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Narcissism is incredible self-involvement, all about the self, not others. It can be either grandiose or self-denigrating. Thinking you know everything, are always right, or the opposite.

So a traditional grandiose narcissist can have an abused, damaged child who is incredibly negatively self-focused on his or her damage, abuse. It is a negative narcissism, but narcissism, never the less. And it results in the inability to be close to anyone as you describe, just like the grandiose parent really can't get close, be intimate, with anyone. And both kinds of narcissists have boundary problems, neither type ever really knowing where their boundaries begin or end. Negative narcissists may be red carpets from grandiose ones, but they are both narcissists just the same.
Exactly. These ppl unfortunately don't know much at all because they spend so much time thinking of themselves and struggling to pay attention to others, they are oblivious to what's going on in the world and commonly lack basic knowledge. They can act like they are successful, but it is not genuine success, it is an act, or something obtained for superficial reasons.

What ppl really need is a balance between loving the self and reaching out to others. That way the person can learn a lot.
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Unread 11-06-2016, 06:51 PM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
Can someone please tell me what you would look for in a natal chart that shows a person attracting narcissistic types of ppl?

I was thinking a strong 12th house because narcissists tend to go after self sacrificing ppl for some reason. And also those 12th house planets aspecting either strong martian planets or martian houses that represent other ppl.

I think that the self sacrifier's lesson in meeting the narcissisist time and time again is to learn to love yourself and do what's best for you more than you already do.

What do you think.
the strong 12th house may have a lot of meanings , can indicate
actors ,musicians ,music or film producers,filmmakers or any kind of behind the scenes activities-professions.
occult spirituality etc many many more not necessary house of destruction

dakota johnson for example has strong 12th house
she also has saturn ruler of her ascendant(capricorn) in 12th house
many actors tend to have this


i have stellium in 12th house in capricorn sun,saturn,neptune,uranus in capricorn
and i can assure you this: i would NEVER sacrifice myself for others. NEVER

helping other people, people who are less happy -less lucky than me then YES i will do that.
but not sacrifice.


even if you have strong 12th house its in your hand to control those narcissist people
and the situations around you.
its their fault if people accept to be the victim of others and not because of 12th house


12th house does not necessary shows a victim mentality this is the stereotype of the 12th house

now for the narcissistic thing probably ruler of 7th house doing bad aspects with neptune or uranus or bad aspected neptune uranus inside the 7th house?

can you please post your birth details to see your natal chart ?(if you want)

Last edited by MadArchitect; 11-06-2016 at 08:00 PM.
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Unread 11-07-2016, 12:13 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

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Originally Posted by MadArchitect View Post
the strong 12th house may have a lot of meanings , can indicate
actors ,musicians ,music or film producers,filmmakers or any kind of behind the scenes activities-professions.
occult spirituality etc many many more not necessary house of destruction

dakota johnson for example has strong 12th house
she also has saturn ruler of her ascendant(capricorn) in 12th house
many actors tend to have this


i have stellium in 12th house in capricorn sun,saturn,neptune,uranus in capricorn
and i can assure you this: i would NEVER sacrifice myself for others. NEVER

helping other people, people who are less happy -less lucky than me then YES i will do that.
but not sacrifice.


even if you have strong 12th house its in your hand to control those narcissist people
and the situations around you.
its their fault if people accept to be the victim of others and not because of 12th house


12th house does not necessary shows a victim mentality this is the stereotype of the 12th house

now for the narcissistic thing probably ruler of 7th house doing bad aspects with neptune or uranus or bad aspected neptune uranus inside the 7th house?

can you please post your birth details to see your natal chart ?(if you want)
Hello,

It's more the fact that I attract them and cant stand them and they can see I'm a kind person so they chase me. Maybe I do still need to learn how to control them but even if they are around me their self absorption really bothers me. They cant give credit where it's due because they give it to themselves instead and that bugs me. Just this weekend I notice the situation with my friend. My friend is the down trodden outcast in the family and the MIL was a narc and they were pulled together to. Clearly it's destiny trying to teach us something.

You do have a 12th stellium but if you look at the signs they are not sacrificing or humanitarian or peacemaking sign. Cap and sag do what they want. I have libra, all about relationships and peace and getting along, which doesn't get along with aries narc types.

Here's my natal. I cant help but notice all the ppl who were narcs in my life were represented by ALL of those planets in the first house. And all the sweet ppl I love and have respect for are the planets in the 12th and 11th. Another thing I find unbelievably coincidental (and no offence to IleneK ) is that the 4 biggest narcs in my life, all of their names started with I. Two of them had the same name.

EDIT: I just want to add how I had another example this weekend confirmed by my tarot. This time it wasn't my Mother in Law, but it was my friend's mother in law, both of them have same ethnicity. My husband and I became godparents and run the celebrations as we were responsible to do. My friend's MIL is represented by Jupiter in my 1st house (once again that 1st house!!!!) and she was causing seriously disrespectful trouble again just like my MIL (in my 1st house). It was all egocentric narc behaviour once again. Not sure how u can control that. I mean I stood up for myself but they still attempt it regardless. My friend is such a beautiful sweet daughter in law and the MIL is a dragon to her too. I was surprised what she did to me. Totally inappropriate. My husband was angered too.
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Unread 11-07-2016, 08:07 AM
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Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

Po
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Hello,

It's more the fact that I attract them and cant stand them and they can see I'm a kind person so they chase me. Maybe I do still need to learn how to control them but even if they are around me their self absorption really bothers me. They cant give credit where it's due because they give it to themselves instead and that bugs me. Just this weekend I notice the situation with my friend. My friend is the down trodden outcast in the family and the MIL was a narc and they were pulled together to. Clearly it's destiny trying to teach us something.

You do have a 12th stellium but if you look at the signs they are not sacrificing or humanitarian or peacemaking sign. Cap and sag do what they want. I have libra, all about relationships and peace and getting along, which doesn't get along with aries narc types.

Here's my natal. I cant help but notice all the ppl who were narcs in my life were represented by ALL of those planets in the first house. And all the sweet ppl I love and have respect for are the planets in the 12th and 11th. Another thing I find unbelievably coincidental (and no offence to IleneK ) is that the 4 biggest narcs in my life, all of their names started with I. Two of them had the same name.

EDIT: I just want to add how I had another example this weekend confirmed by my tarot. This time it wasn't my Mother in Law, but it was my friend's mother in law, both of them have same ethnicity. My husband and I became godparents and run the celebrations as we were responsible to do. My friend's MIL is represented by Jupiter in my 1st house (once again that 1st house!!!!) and she was causing seriously disrespectful trouble again just like my MIL (in my 1st house). It was all egocentric narc behaviour once again. Not sure how u can control that. I mean I stood up for myself but they still attempt it regardless. My friend is such a beautiful sweet daughter in law and the MIL is a dragon to her too. I was surprised what she did to me. Totally inappropriate. My husband was angered too.


I understand maybe you should also look at your transits and progressions

you have scorpio rising and the ruler of your chart pluto is on the 12th house
Your sun is on the 12th house too.
But the sun in t he 12th is not the issue

Pluto in the 12th is the real deal here pluto in 12h its a very paranormal psychic position
it can give psychic abilities

Pluto its a magnetic planet and placed on the 12th house can make the matters of this house very intense, and powerfull

but i believe even we have difficult positions we can still control the situations

Have you ever heard about the law of attraction?

When you think about something too much it can manifest around you

What we tend to feel think and analyze a lot it can really manifest around us.


I noticed this to myself ,whenever i think about something too much it tends to happen
in real life

whenever im thinking and obsessing about a person too much then next moment hours
That person shows up to me,o r even call me or texts me(crazy i know)

or i remember couple months ago i was thinking and analyzing much about

"Why people always pay a lot of attention to me for no reason?"

And the more i was thinking about it ,the more it was happening..
it was really annoying

Since i stopped thinking
and obsessing about people and situations the negative manifestation stopped!

you should do the same,try to think and analyze much about the things you want in your
life ,
And avoid to bring negative thoughts in your mind

try to not think a lot about the things you dont want,because if you do. these thoughts
will manifest.


dont forget that both we have plutonian and 12th house influence in our charts ,so the paranormal activities and psychic abilities are very intense .

You should try to use your hidden plutonian 12th house powers for your own good
if you learn how to do that the 12th house and plutonian energy can work on your behalf.

you may atttact these people because of your pluto of 12th house ,but remember our thoughts psychology is what usually manifest around us.

I ve done many experiments with the law of attraction and i know for me this thing works
for some others maybe not, not everyones the same.

Last edited by MadArchitect; 11-07-2016 at 09:09 AM.
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Unread 11-07-2016, 10:51 AM
demetraceres demetraceres is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 295
Re: Attracting Narcissists in a person's natal chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by CancerEvolve View Post
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...ad.php?t=99154

Cancer will wise up and will then become stronger, Cancer is not a weak sign, outwardly when people know us we are soft, but we have massive armor.
I just need to comment this a little bit. I have mentioned Cancer and Pisces in the context of this thread and I didn't have time to elaborate it little further. I have seen and read now your thread and I completely understand the reactions.

I don't think there are specific sun signs which can be directly connected with victim or narcissistic personality (or any other kind of personality). What I've had in mind was only possibility of a very strong influence of specific sign in natal chart and even this in combination with other indicators.

My personal experiences with different sun signs (of no statistical importance though): none of Libra sun signs I know have this malignant narcissistic traits and on the other hand I was a target of narcissistic abuse by Cancer and Pisces sun sign. This single experiences can't tell much about any of this sign.

My sun sign Aries is also many times connected with mass murderers, kidnappers and generally with awful kind of people. I can't relate much to this, though.

I've just had to explain this not te be misunderstood.

Otherwise, very insightful and effective debate.
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