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  #1  
Unread 11-21-2020, 08:35 PM
Bloop Bloop is offline
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How can I stop needing validation from people, and improve my self esteem?

https://m.imgur.com/a/2DEV09D

Hello. I believe there are many aspects in my chart indicating the following (which is very true of my life):

- I am passionate about getting validation from people. I use other people to help me define myself
- I have very strong difficulty with relationships. So I chase after validation, am dependent on it, but it also gets quickly taken from me- either I get ignored by people or confronted by them and treated harshly.
- I pretty much “come alive” when it comes to people; otherwise I have little interest in anything else which frustrates me.
- I have, thus, very poor self esteem and self confidence. I do not trust myself at all. I also don’t know how to rely on myself or be less dependent on others.

I’m just wondering what areas of my life can I focus on, based on the chart, to help me improve this situation?


Last edited by wilsontc; 11-24-2020 at 01:33 PM.
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  #2  
Unread 11-22-2020, 12:55 AM
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Cary2 Cary2 is offline
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Re: How can I stop needing validation from people, and improve my self esteem?

I feel you will overcome this dilemma because you have Sun conjunct Mars. You will probably discover other challenges that are quite different from this.

With Venus on Descendant, you are instinctively agreeable, but with Venus square to Saturn you carry a burden in your personality that you feel you do not deserve love. You fear that you are not lovable. This is not based on any evidence. It is a tendency in your personality that must be addressed if you hope to happier and more pleasant about life on planet Earth. You feel the feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy, but you have not got a grip on them yet. We are all born with tendencies that represent the cards we were dealt in life, and this unpleasant tendency of yours is a trait to deal with. Because you have some astrological training, you can grasp that you have tendencies, some of which favor your happiness, and some of which oppose your happiness.

Because you have Sun conjunct Mars, you will learn to be less agreeable when that is appropriate. With Mercury and Pluto conjunct Venus, you have certain obsessions or compulsions that are not serving you, and you can sort them out as you decide what you want from life.

I can see why you are troubled by these concepts and habits of thinking because you were born with your particular tendencies, but you are rational and you have free will, so you can deal with tendencies that bother you.
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  #3  
Unread 11-23-2020, 08:08 PM
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Harmelia Harmelia is offline
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Re: How can I stop needing validation from people, and improve my self esteem?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bloop View Post
https://m.imgur.com/a/2DEV09D

Hello. I believe there are many aspects in my chart indicating the following (which is very true of my life):

- I am passionate about getting validation from people. I use other people to help me define myself
- I have very strong difficulty with relationships. So I chase after validation, am dependent on it, but it also gets quickly taken from me- either I get ignored by people or confronted by them and treated harshly.
- I pretty much “come alive” when it comes to people; otherwise I have little interest in anything else which frustrates me.
- I have, thus, very poor self esteem and self confidence. I do not trust myself at all. I also don’t know how to rely on myself or be less dependent on others.

I’m just wondering what areas of my life can I focus on, based on the chart, to help me improve this situation?
Well, your past life symbol (absent in the chart you posted) is in Gemini, first house, indicating there is a wound to your independence, autonomy and the way you perceive yourself. Chiron in Virgo further tells the story of self-doubt and self-criticism. Your Mercury thought-processes in Scorpio, 6th house - and can represent having some fear in the 7th house of relationships. Scorpio in 6th can be a little obsessive in feel. I don't know if that fits you.

The ruler of your chart is Venus, and it is in Scorpio - on the 7th house cusp. You probably need to be cautious in your relationships. A Taurus rising likes to socialize and make nice with everyone. But, a Venus in Scorpio sees the dark side - may be more attuned to the fear side of Scorpio.

Regardless, along with a Cancer Moon, you need to attend to your feelings and become aware of any unconscious stuff that you need to analyze and heal. But, you also need to expand yourself beyond all the thinking and analyzing of the nitty gritty details. You probably focus on the details of yourself - you may be a perfectionist and be a bit hard on yourself.

Sagittarius is about expanding, exploring, having faith in yourself - and learning from others and assimilating what you've learned onto yourself. Your Sun, Mars and North Node are there to help you do that.

You need relationship interactions to learn about yourself - to evolve yourself - but - you probably need to be careful who you let into your inner circle. You are here to evolve the way you do relationships.

Venus, Pluto, Mercury and Jupiter are all in Scorpio - a more emotional, psychological sign. Scorpio is known to be fearful. Cancer Moon is also a feeling-emotional sign - known for its sensitivity.

In contrast is Sun, Mars and North node - symbolizing new territory in Sagittarius. Sagittarius is more of a mental process sign rather than an emotional one. Focus more on developing your Sag Sun/Mars. When you are in your feelings - worry, anxiety, wanting permission and affirmation from others, stop yourself and challenge those thoughts. Every time you catch yourself seeking validation, challenge it - tell it to go away - name it - and this gives you more power over it. Eventually, if you start just doing stuff without validation, you strengthen your confidence. It will most likely take you a while - but you've got to start somewhere. Confidence comes with experience. Be sure and give yourself kudos every time to catch yourself doing it, even if you can't stop the feelings or behavior. It's a beginning - and - a step forward. You need to celebrate every little step forward. It does add up - eventually. You'll see.
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Last edited by Harmelia; 11-23-2020 at 08:10 PM.
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  #4  
Unread 11-23-2020, 11:19 PM
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Abby83 Abby83 is offline
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Re: How can I stop needing validation from people, and improve my self esteem?

Astrology aside, hypnotherapy worked great for me. She also released to much masculine energy in me with acupressure.
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  #5  
Unread 11-24-2020, 03:31 AM
clip11 clip11 is offline
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Re: How can I stop needing validation from people, and improve my self esteem?

It seems with a stellium in the 7th, relationships mean a lot to you. Have you tried self talk?
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