He only wants to be fwb and not date me - why?

scahm

Well-known member
Things had gotten romantic between a friend and I and I had been getting excited thinking that things might get serious - he now tells me that he only wants to be friends with benefits and not actually date me. This has kind of taken a bit of a hit on my self esteem - we get along so well that I don't really understand why he only wants a casual relationship with me. Does this chart give any insight please?
 

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katydid

Well-known member
Things had gotten romantic between a friend and I and I had been getting excited thinking that things might get serious - he now tells me that he only wants to be friends with benefits and not actually date me. This has kind of taken a bit of a hit on my self esteem - we get along so well that I don't really understand why he only wants a casual relationship with me. Does this chart give any insight please?

You are Mars, retro in Aries in the 1st. Mars in the angular 1st in cardinal fire is assertive and action oriented, usually going in head first, impulsively. Being retro, you might not have been seeing clearly how he was feeling about the situation?


He is Venus in virgo in the 6th. There is no aspect between you two.
He is in an applying aspect to Mercury in Scorpio in the 7th of relationships.

I think he is already maybe talking to other potential partners and wants to leave that door open?:unsure:

You, Mars, will eventually square Pluto again and the go direct and square Saturn. Loss and emotional intensity?

This relationship might put you through an emotional wringer if you stay too attached and try to make things happen with him. :bandit:

I think you wanted more from the relationship than he did. :pouty:
 

scahm

Well-known member
You are Mars, retro in Aries in the 1st. Mars in the angular 1st in cardinal fire is assertive and action oriented, usually going in head first, impulsively. Being retro, you might not have been seeing clearly how he was feeling about the situation?


He is Venus in virgo in the 6th. There is no aspect between you two.
He is in an applying aspect to Mercury in Scorpio in the 7th of relationships.

I think he is already maybe talking to other potential partners and wants to leave that door open?:unsure:

You, Mars, will eventually square Pluto again and the go direct and square Saturn. Loss and emotional intensity?

This relationship might put you through an emotional wringer if you stay too attached and try to make things happen with him. :bandit:

I think you wanted more from the relationship than he did. :pouty:

Thanks katydid, that sounds like the situation. I just wish I could understand why - if he wasn't that into me, what was the point of jeopardising the friendship?
 

IleneK

Premium Member
Quite honestly, you as Mars in Aries in your own/angular/1st house are too strong for him. He is weak, symbolized by Venus in fall [being in the sign of Virgo]. He is also symbolized by Sun exactly on the angular cusp of his/7th house in detriment in the sign of Libra.

As Katy points out, he is already looking elsewhere, as he/Venus applies to sextile Merc, and Merc receives him well. But it looks like she may change her mind, too.

I would forget this guy. It is just not a good fit. His wanting to only be fwb tells you that.
 
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scahm

Well-known member
Quite honestly, you as Mars in Aries in your own/angular/1st house are too strong for him. He is weak, symbolized by Venus in fall [being in the sign of Virgo]. He is also symbolized by Sun exactly on the angular cusp of his/7th house in detriment in the sign of Libra.

As Katy points out, he is already looking elsewhere, as he/Venus applies to sextile Merc, and Merc receives him well. But it looks like she may change her mind, too.

I would forget this guy. It is just not a good fit. His wanting to only be fwb tells you that.

Thank you, Ilene. I did wonder if it may have been insecurity that's preventing him from going all in - it's just a blow to my self esteem that he would rather look elsewhere when we already had something good going. I suppose I'll start to feel better when Mars stations direct.
 

IleneK

Premium Member
I just think the connection you experience is not mutual.
Mars and Venus are disjunct, 5 signs apart, so you two do not see eye to eye. And he/Venus does not receive you/Mars well, since Mars is in the sign of Venus’ detriment, Aries.
Sometimes things just don’t work out..
Better to let this go, than for you to stay together with different intentions and visions.
 

scahm

Well-known member
I just think the connection you experience is not mutual.
Mars and Venus are disjunct, 5 signs apart, so you two do not see eye to eye. And he/Venus does not receive you/Mars well, since Mars is in the sign of Venus’ detriment, Aries.
Sometimes things just don’t work out..
Better to let this go, than for you to stay together with different intentions and visions.

Thank you so much for clarifying, Ilene.
 
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