Am I doomed to be in abusive relationships?

G

Gauri91

Member
Hi, I'm curious about what my birth chart says about partnerships for me as it always seems that I end up with guys who are a bit abusive. Is it possible to read in my birth chart what kind of a husband/partner I will get in this lifetime? I'm new to reading charts and don't understand much, so if anyone would like to help me I would be very greatful! :)
I'm born on the 12th of January at 10:04 AM (before sunrise) in Reykjavik, Iceland
 
R

rahu

Banned
hi Gauri91

when one systematically has abusive relationships is most often because one had an abusive childhood and therefore can not distinguish abusive guys from "healthy" guys.

your natal chart shows that is true in your case.
your satrun is conjunct the north node and chiron is opposed to satrun on the south node. this is symbolic of an exceedingly physically and emotionally abusive father. as your venus/sun midpoint is also conjunct the node and Saturn and with eris opposed to nessus and square to Neptune if is more than likely that you suffered through sexual abuse.\

it is highly likely that these childhood experiences are repressed or blocked because Neptune usually shows that alcohol was part of the abusive environment which usually results in lost of memory about the ordeal.

Jupiter conjunct to orcus and opposed to venus shows that you family heritage involves abuse and so it is part of the unconscious nature of your family upbringing.

so what is happening is that you have an emotional and mental block to your abusive experiences and therefore this mental block also keeps your conscious mind from seeing the abusive nature of your boy friend.hence you end up in abusive relationships.

so the first step you need t take is to stop drinking...... drinking alcohol as this can only continue the mental blocks.
secondly you need to get some counseling where you can talk this out or with some one who can point out to you the parts of your personality that allow abusers to approach you.

counseling would also help your self esteem as Saturn opposed to chiron is one indication of low self esteem. in your case it is clearly because of your abusive childhood.

Jupiter is trine to your moon/Lilith conjunction which shows in your heart you want to be married and with mars trine to the node and venus sextile to Lilith and the moon ,you have the potential to have loving and support committed relationships . your venus/sun midpoint conjunct the node shows you have a very loving nature and an attractive presence

but you have to walk a fine line psychologically. you must realize that you are opening yourself up to these losers but you must also realize that you are not a fault that these mental attitudes have been put on you. that is don't blame yourself for your lack of good judgment but take the responsibility to change yourself for your own love of self. this is why I suggest you seek some type of counseling as the symbols in your chart show a very severe emotional abuse that is very difficult to resolve by yourself, in isolation.

I hope you follow some of my advice because by looking at your chart it seems that very recently a relationship that you thought was very good, turned out to be not so good. the transits coming up in the next few months are very despondent ones .so you really need to start working on yourself so that you don't let the despondent mood take over.

rahu
 

Attachments

  • astro_2gw_d_84684_18922.jpg
    astro_2gw_d_84684_18922.jpg
    50.9 KB · Views: 44
Last edited:
waybread

waybread

Well-known member
I view your chart slightly differently.

People your age your age were born with a trio of potentially difficult planets: Uranus, Neptune, and Saturn, in the sign of Capricorn. Everyone your age will have them somewhere or another in their charts, but you have them in the first house of your outward personality, and conjunct your sun.

This can make it very difficult for you to get a clear sense of self, and the sense of self that you have is probably tied up in low self-esteem.

Do you think, in your heart of hearts, that you deserve a kind, loving man with integrity?

Of course, you do, but I suggest that you look at ways to boost your self-confidence.
 
G

Gauri91

Member
rahu said:
hi Gauri91

when one systematically has abusive relationships is most often because one had an abusive childhood and therefore can not distinguish abusive guys from "healthy" guys.

your natal chart shows that is true in your case.
your satrun is conjunct the north node and chiron is opposed to satrun on the south node. this is symbolic of an exceedingly physically and emotionally abusive father. as your venus/sun midpoint is also conjunct the node and Saturn and with eris opposed to nessus and square to Neptune if is more than likely that you suffered through sexual abuse.\

it is highly likely that these childhood experiences are repressed or blocked because Neptune usually shows that alcohol was part of the abusive environment which usually results in lost of memory about the ordeal.

Jupiter conjunct to orcus and opposed to venus shows that you family heritage involves abuse and so it is part of the unconscious nature of your family upbringing.

so what is happening is that you have an emotional and mental block to your abusive experiences and therefore this mental block also keeps your conscious mind from seeing the abusive nature of your boy friend.hence you end up in abusive relationships.

so the first step you need t take is to stop drinking...... drinking alcohol as this can only continue the mental blocks.
secondly you need to get some counseling where you can talk this out or with some one who can point out to you the parts of your personality that allow abusers to approach you.

counseling would also help your self esteem as Saturn opposed to chiron is one indication of low self esteem. in your case it is clearly because of your abusive childhood.

Jupiter is trine to your moon/Lilith conjunction which shows in your heart you want to be married and with mars trine to the node and venus sextile to Lilith and the moon ,you have the potential to have loving and support committed relationships . your venus/sun midpoint conjunct the node shows you have a very loving nature and an attractive presence

but you have to walk a fine line psychologically. you must realize that you are opening yourself up to these losers but you must also realize that you are not a fault that these mental attitudes have been put on you. that is don't blame yourself for your lack of good judgment but take the responsibility to change yourself for your own love of self. this is why I suggest you seek some type of counseling as the symbols in your chart show a very severe emotional abuse that is very difficult to resolve by yourself, in isolation.

I hope you follow some of my advice because by looking at your chart it seems that very recently a relationship that you thought was very good, turned out to be not so good. the transits coming up in the next few months are very despondent ones .so you really need to start working on yourself so that you don't let the despondent mood take over.

rahu
Click to expand...

Hi, thank you so much for taking your time for this. I'm amazed how accurate your interpretation is. I grew up with an emotionally abusive father and later an emotionally abusive stepfather who also sexually harassed/abused me.

I never drank alcohol myself, but my father has an alcohol problem, trying to stop drinking.

It's also correct what you say about my family heritage. There has been abuse on both sides of my family for generations.

Also true that my self esteem is very low. It is preventing me from doing what I want to do in life because I keep feeling that I'm not good enough.

I'm really wanting to find a good guy that I can marry soon, because I'm feeling ready for it now as I've been working alot on myself the past three years and feel strong enough for a new relationship.
As you said, I've recently been in an abusive relationship. It ended in early 2014 after being with the guy for two years. The first year was fine, but the second year he became abusive.

I'll definitely follow your advice on counselling as I still need to work on my abusive childhood.

Is it possible to read in the chart when a good time for a new, loving relationship would be? Which year and months? :)

Again, thank you for the reading!
 
G

Gauri91

Member
waybread said:
I view your chart slightly differently.

People your age your age were born with a trio of potentially difficult planets: Uranus, Neptune, and Saturn, in the sign of Capricorn. Everyone your age will have them somewhere or another in their charts, but you have them in the first house of your outward personality, and conjunct your sun.

This can make it very difficult for you to get a clear sense of self, and the sense of self that you have is probably tied up in low self-esteem.

Do you think, in your heart of hearts, that you deserve a kind, loving man with integrity?

Of course, you do, but I suggest that you look at ways to boost your self-confidence.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your reply.
That's another interesting view. I do have a very low self-esteem, which I'm trying to improve. When I ask myself if I deserve a kind, loving man I have to honestly admit that my brain says yes (because I know that's what I'm supposed to say) but my heart says no for some reasons that I don't understand.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
Gauri91 said:
Thanks for the advice. I tried following the instructions on how to attach the chart, but the imgur webpage is not really working for me. I'll keep trying:)
Click to expand...

If you're using a computer, you can post your chart as an attachment, from astrodienst.com. The third post in the thread I linked you to links to detailed instructions on how to do that. The attachment version was our go-to way when everyone came online from a computer, but it doesn't work on mobile devices, which is why we've provided embedding instructions.
 
S

Sagcap88

Well-known member
One thing that’s important to note about astrology is that we always have free will. You may be predisposed to abusive relationships, but you also have tools (aspects) in your chart to help you break the cycle and eventually, find a healthy one.

It isn’t fatalistic. Using words like “doomed” creates negative energy.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
Gauri91 said:
As you said, I've recently been in an abusive relationship. It ended in early 2014 after being with the guy for two years. The first year was fine, but the second year he became abusive.
Click to expand...

People don't turn abusive to their partners out of the blue. If he became abusive in the second year of your relationship, there would have to have been warning signs in that first year. Could have been little things, and maybe things that seemed good at the time--like putting you on a pedestal (but denying the real person you were), or pushing for a commitment too soon, or subtly controlling you in a way that made you think it was just plain romantic.

If you didn't recognize the warning signs, you're still at great risk of entering an abusive relationship. More self work is needed.

Above all, your chart indicates a focus on you. Majority of your planets in the first house. Since you were born at such a high latitude, I would work mainly with an equal house version of your chart, but still keep the Placidus house divisions in mind, which make your first and seventh houses huge and put almost everything in the first house. With equal house, Saturn would sit on your second house cusp, which adds another layer: second house is personal values, body image, and self image, as well as material things like money and possessions. All this suggests that your self image is the greatest issue, and where your greatest healing is needed.

A concentration in the first and/or second house indicates a need for whatever happens in your life to be primarily focused on your own growth: give yourself what you need and didn't have. Relationships should be had only if they help you, not hurt you. And, the key to a good relationship is self focus. Capricorn is a particularly focused sign. With all your Capricorn placements, it's all about focus on you.
 
R

rahu

Banned
Gauri91 said:
Hi, thank you so much for taking your time for this. I'm amazed how accurate your interpretation is. I grew up with an emotionally abusive father and later an emotionally abusive stepfather who also sexually harassed/abused me.

I never drank alcohol myself, but my father has an alcohol problem, trying to stop drinking.

It's also correct what you say about my family heritage. There has been abuse on both sides of my family for generations.

Also true that my self esteem is very low. It is preventing me from doing what I want to do in life because I keep feeling that I'm not good enough.

I'm really wanting to find a good guy that I can marry soon, because I'm feeling ready for it now as I've been working alot on myself the past three years and feel strong enough for a new relationship.
As you said, I've recently been in an abusive relationship. It ended in early 2014 after being with the guy for two years. The first year was fine, but the second year he became abusive.

I'll definitely follow your advice on counselling as I still need to work on my abusive childhood.

Is it possible to read in the chart when a good time for a new, loving relationship would be? Which year and months? :)

Again, thank you for the reading!
Click to expand...


hi again Gauri91

as I have said your immediate transits show a tendency to despondency about these issues. i think you need to focus on counseling and not on another relationship for at least 6 months. i is likely likely that if you start another relationship now, it will only become abusive too. i believe you need to work on yourself and now not place importance on finding someone else. in most therapeutics environments it is suggested to not start a relationship during counseling. as i mentioned your moon/Lilith conjuction sextile to veusa nd trine jupoiter doe give the potential for a loving marriage. but util you work on yourself this will not come about
 
G

Gauri91

Member
rahu said:
hi again Gauri91

as I have said your immediate transits show a tendency to despondency about these issues. i think you need to focus on counseling and not on another relationship for at least 6 months. i is likely likely that if you start another relationship now, it will only become abusive too. i believe you need to work on yourself and now not place importance on finding someone else. in most therapeutics environments it is suggested to not start a relationship during counseling. as i mentioned your moon/Lilith conjuction sextile to veusa nd trine jupoiter doe give the potential for a loving marriage. but util you work on yourself this will not come about
Click to expand...

Thank you for your reply. I do realise that it is better not to start a new relationship while doing counselling. The past 2 years I have been working on these issues and worked through my traumas related to sexual and emotional abuse, including the traumas I got from previous abusive relationship. I've come a long way already and feel strong enough for a new relationship, and I have learnt now where my own limits are and the importance of respecting them. I still need to keep working on my self-esteem and feel it's also improving slowly.

If anyone wants to give me a full reading of my birth chart I would be very grateful. I've never had it fully read before and am very curious what potentials, strengths, weaknesses etc I have. :D
 
waybread

waybread

Well-known member
Gauri, you've got one of those interesting high-latitude charts that show a lot of skewing of houses at certain times of year. I'm wondering how many hours of daylight your home city gets on your birthday!

Your chart also shows Neptune, Uranus, and Saturn in Capricorn, which happened to everyone born in your birth year. What makes your chart challenging, however, is that you sun (identity) is wrapped up in these planets. They're not tucked out of sight somewhere else in your chart.

Basically, Neptune and Saturn conjunct your sun can make it very difficult to establish a strong sense of identity. The sun gives your sense of self, and Neptune tends to erase what it touches. Then Saturn can show where and how we feel inadequate and not good-enough, so that when it touches the sun, self-esteem issues can hit you really hard.

Thankfully these planets also have a positive side: with Neptune you have the option to understand life beyond or beneath reality-as-given. People with this capacity range from scientists making new discoveries to mystics to creative artists. It looks like you've got your vertex in a septile relationship with your moon. (Sorry, it's hard to read the degrees on this chart.) This can even give some psychic ability.
 
G

Gauri91

Member
waybread said:
Gauri, you've got one of those interesting high-latitude charts that show a lot of skewing of houses at certain times of year. I'm wondering how many hours of daylight your home city gets on your birthday!

Your chart also shows Neptune, Uranus, and Saturn in Capricorn, which happened to everyone born in your birth year. What makes your chart challenging, however, is that you sun (identity) is wrapped up in these planets. They're not tucked out of sight somewhere else in your chart.

Basically, Neptune and Saturn conjunct your sun can make it very difficult to establish a strong sense of identity. The sun gives your sense of self, and Neptune tends to erase what it touches. Then Saturn can show where and how we feel inadequate and not good-enough, so that when it touches the sun, self-esteem issues can hit you really hard.

Thankfully these planets also have a positive side: with Neptune you have the option to understand life beyond or beneath reality-as-given. People with this capacity range from scientists making new discoveries to mystics to creative artists. It looks like you've got your vertex in a septile relationship with your moon. (Sorry, it's hard to read the degrees on this chart.) This can even give some psychic ability.
Click to expand...


Wow, thanks!
Haha, it's true what you say about my psychic ability...
Cool. Always wanted to be a scientist and also to be an artist or an actress but then the self-doubt kicks in. ;)

Where do you guys learn to read the charts so well? I'm amazed how accurate this is.
 
Top