Lilith, pluto, 8th house, neptune, saturn, and venus-mars synastry

A man and I have:

Neptune:
Mars parralel neptune
Venus conjunct Neptune

Lilith:

His lilith opposite my ascendent and square my sun

Saturn:
His moon opposes my saturn

Venus-mars
Venus conjunct mars, and his mars conjunct my venus
so double wammy

Pluto
his moon oppose pluto
His venus sextile my pluto
In larger orbs:
My venus square his pluto at 9.5 degrees
My mars square his pluto at 8 degrees.

8th house:
His moon is in my 8th house

His ascendent may be 3 signs, and depending on that, either only my sun is on his 8th house, or both my mars and venus are in his 8th house, or neither.

So question: How is a relationship that is both neptunian, lilith, and plutonic, and yet has saturn elements with NO identity factors(sun, moon and ascendent), in harmonious aspects?

Secondly, does venus-pluto and mars-pluto hard aspects count when the orb is large?

The interpretation sounds like it does but then again, it could be something else in the synastry.

it would be very useful if you can attach synastric chart.
at a matter of relationship without major aspects to identity planets - it wodn't last long. it's more about passion and good sex chemistry than a real relationship.
on the information that you provide i can conclude that you will be the person who would be interested the most in you interactions. your Lilith will do its work
in synastry orbs are very wide, so your aspects counts.