Many men have come into my life

But none of them stayed for long.

I am so lonely, I could cry.

Being alone has its perks. It lessens the drama that often can get stirred in partnerships, lessen the headaches that a partner can conjure, no suspicious partner snooping through your phone or always asking where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing or who you been doing it with!, no partner trying to provoke arguments, and no need to explain yourself every five minutes! You are being given an opportunity (mhm. Opportunity! Freedom!) space to be with yourself. That time can be utilize for a lot of stuff! than worrying about loneliness and if you’ll ever be loved. Shoot! Love yourself. There is no harm in starting to do so. What a perfect time to get to know who you are as a person rather than having solely an identity not separate from all of your partnerships. Take up a hobby! Dance! Go to the gym (if opened in your area) and get that revenge body. Keep on going forward because whoever these men are from the past, yeah...let them stay there cause they obviously aren’t in the present for a reason (knowingly or unknowingly so). Tsk, you’re just having one of those days.

You’ll be fine if you need to cry, go ahead and cry. Crying releases endorphins. Wipe those tears and go about doing what only you can do girl or boy.

#LatenighthourswithThirdteenth

Wan, it's also a good time to reach out to others, not necessarily men.
Give love, and the energy will come round to you and you will be loved by others, and then also maybe romantic love will come.
Not easy being alone, especially at the holiday period when you see everyone being so homey and lovey, so even if it's just volunteer work, get out and give, and you will see you receive.
And remember, many in relationships are not what they seem either, they would rather be in your position! Each to their own, to learn their own!
Enjoy yourself.

wan said:

But none of them stayed for long.

I am so lonely, I could cry.

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I know the feeling Wan, I know the feeling. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, about how to stop yearning for it. Self-love is key as well as the concept that spiritual love is greater than any love but still, it’s hard to genuinely find solace in that when it is human love that is needed.

Five years ago, you posted that you had never had a boyfriend. Did all those men come and go within the past five years?

What changed? How did you go from never having a boyfriend to rapid come, rapid go?

The next step would be to explore your natal chart and get a sense of what you really need from a partner and how you need to go about relationships. If you're not approaching that in the way your chart shows you need, then not being able to keep one is a likely result.

Thanks to all for your comforting words. I feel much better now.

@Osa:

Yes I am still single. Still have had no boyfriend. When I said men who came into my life, I meant men that literally came into my life, yet who were not my boyfriend. They were merely men that I was interested in, but nothing ever became of it.

Yes I have looked into my chart. I really think my Saturn very closely conjuncting my descendant is to blame. This angular malefic is ruining my love life. I am 41 years old and have never had a bf. Seriously, this is not normal.

It's about the full chart, not just the DC. Sometimes the mismatch shows up in the big picture.

But you were born in the summer of 1979, weren't you? Saturn was conjunct the north node then. If Saturn and the north node are both on your DC, then a couple of things could be happening here: north node enlarges Saturn, so whatever Saturn obstacles you have, they're extra huge, and since this is on your DC, you'll see it in the partnership arena. And/or there's a deep rooted karmic story involved in this.

Nodes along the AC/DC axis generally indicate balance between self and others--or self and relationships--as a key point to work with. Likely, a key sticking point.

And what's going on with your Mercury? As both your DC and your north node ruler, it would be a key player.

If there are any other planets in your seventh house, also take those into consideration.

What you said does make sense, Osa.

Also, my North Node is actually 4 degrees from the DC, in the 6th house. So I kind of hesitate to say that it conjuncts my DC. Maybe my Saturn, but that's it.

My Mercury rules both my 4th and 7th house, in fact. So I would say it is of tremendous importance in my chart. It is in Leo in the 6th house.

Other than Saturn, I don't have any planet in my 7th.

wan said:

My Mercury rules both my 4th and 7th house, in fact. So I would say it is of tremendous importance in my chart. It is in Leo in the 6th house.

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And there are more factors to consider. Is your Mercury retrograde or direct? Is it combust, cazimi, or under the beams? Does it aspect anything?

How do you see fourth house topics working for you? Home, family, roots, etc?

Osamenor said:

And there are more factors to consider. Is your Mercury retrograde or direct? Is it combust, cazimi, or under the beams? Does it aspect anything?

How do you see fourth house topics working for you? Home, family, roots, etc?

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Now that you mentioned it, yes I just realized that it was retrograde. So what does this signify? Also, I went and took another look at my chart, and I noticed that my Mercury is actually in the 5th house (in Placidus), not 6th.

And yes, it is under the Sun's beam (3 degrees from Sun). It conjuncts my Venus as well as my Sun. It has no other aspects.

Interesting that you should mention 4th house topics. I in fact am a total homebody. I spend the bulk of my time at home, browsing the internet and talking to people, posting on online forums etc. I also have my Mars in my 4th. I wonder if this part of me is due to my Mars, or my Mercury.

I have attached my chart below, if you need to see it.

Symbolically the descendent and its planets tell us what qualities your partners have, whether romantic or not. Saturn is someone up in age, or you yourself, it's Capricorn and Aquarius, it's seriousness.

Interesting, Passi. And yes, I tend to be attracted to people who are of very dissimilar background as me. I tried to "make" myself like someone from the same background as me, but it just didn't work. I wonder if this could be due to my Moon in 9th?

Also, the ruler of my 7th, which is Mercury, is tricky because its house placement differs based on the house system used. In Placidus, it's in the 5th. In Whole sign, it's in the 6th. And I imagine the interpretation would differ very wildly. I have read that having the ruler of 7th in 5th means that the native would marry out of love, and I think this describes me well. And if my 7th lord is in 6th, which, like you said, means I would find my spouse from place of work, this makes sense, too. A lot of men that I have liked were people I worked with.

Hi Wan,
I wonder if you give off the impression that you are aloof & not interested in love?

What have you done in a practical way? Do you socialize much? Meet new people? Ever joined a dating site? Ever asked friends to fix you up with a blind date?
No matter what the astrology says, we all have free will. We must ACT if we want anything in life for it rarely comes knocking at our door. I do understand the lonely part, it's tough to find a suitable partner....BUT if you are not doing anything concretely to find a partner, then how do you expect it do happen?
Give a smile to the next man who meet no matter where it is....you can ind love in a grocery store...although I guess with the masks, nobody can see smiles anymore!!!

My point is to actually do something to rectify the situation because everyone deserves love.

Go for it!!!

p.s.
I have noticed that the people I know with Saturn conjunct DC or in H7 marry later in life, even they have a 2nd marriage later....it's as if they need to love themselves more & accept & give love freely which is difficult with Saturn who likes to be a hermit & has a 'wall' built around them.

Hi Black:

Thanks for the encouraging words. And yes, with a mask on, it is very difficult indeed to smile at someone!

To be honest, I have no idea how I appear to others. I really don't know if I give off an aloof vibe or not. As for socializing, I don't really do a lot of it. I have joined some dating sites but the truth is I much prefer to find someone in real life. I might be biased but I really think dating sites are a poor way to find a partner.

I do try hard when I see someone I like though. For example, my manager at my new job. I got him a Christmas present too. But he didn't give me anything and he didn't even wish me a Merry Christmas. This made me think he is not interested. Another guy I was interested in, he too was someone I worked with, and I literally threw myself at him, but nothing ever became of it. Yet another guy I liked from work quit because I was making him uncomfortable. My point is, I try, I try really hard. But I just can't catch a break, romantically speaking.

It will happen. Try another dating site, it really is an excellent way to meet people if it's reputable. Don't throw yourself at anyone, if a man thinks you are interested & he is interested, he will chase you. It will come when you are ready.

A sincere, heart-felt thank you to all who have replied in this thread. Now, there is update in my situation. You can see more of it here in this thread:
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=136955

Could someone be kind enough to help me decide on what to do? I need to figure out what to do by this Saturday.

Thanks in advance.

Here's my reply to your latest post in your horary thread. I'm putting it here because it deals with your natal chart instead of the horary.

wan said:

I really can't decide whether the crush outweighs my liking the nature of my job. The only thing I know is that if I don't get to date my manager like I had hoped I could, I will just move on to another job, and see if I can find someone there. I pretty much use jobs as a way to find men.

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No wonder you've never had a boyfriend. Jobs are no way to find dating partners. There's too much conflict of interest for that. Especially if you keep falling for managers, bosses, people in your chain of command.

With so much going on in your sixth house, you may be tempted to look for love in your working life. But your Mercury is in your fifth house. That suggests finding a partner through something you're just doing for enjoyment.

Since Leo is your sixth sign, and you have the bulk of your placements there, I'm inclined to read it as a need to turn a hobby into a job. Do you have any hobbies that could become a job? Define "hobby" very broadly. It doesn't necessarily have to be something that most people would consider a hobby. It can be anything you've developed some skill at because you wanted to do it, not because you had to.

You probably do need someone who shares your life's work. That's a message of this house placement. But that doesn't mean work as in the job you took to pay your bills. That means true vocation. What is your real calling? What service can you give to society, from your own being? Your chart suggests looking to what you enjoy as the first step to answering that question.

"And yes, with a mask on, it is very difficult indeed to smile at someone!"

Sorry, but you can see a smile through the eyes!

Osamenor said:

Here's my reply to your latest post in your horary thread. I'm putting it here because it deals with your natal chart instead of the horary.

No wonder you've never had a boyfriend. Jobs are no way to find dating partners. There's too much conflict of interest for that. Especially if you keep falling for managers, bosses, people in your chain of command.

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Firstly, thank you for reading my natal chart, Osa. Nobody has done that for me to the degree that you had.

I was actually quite surprised to hear you say that jobs are no way to find a romantic partner. I had always thought that it was the way. I mean, if a guy has a job, that means he is not on public assistance. That he can hold down a job. So, he is not a "loser", in that sense. It's just a good way to weed out the bad ones, is how I always saw it. And as for falling for bosses, managers etc, I actually don't go out of my way to do that, it kind of just naturally happens for me a lot, because the managerial types typically have good interpersonal skills, and that to me is attractive.

And when you say conflict of interest, what do you mean by that? Do you mean that men (especially bosses) might think that going out with a coworker is risky because if it doesn't work out, it will make working with her very awkward?

With so much going on in your sixth house, you may be tempted to look for love in your working life. But your Mercury is in your fifth house. That suggests finding a partner through something you're just doing for enjoyment.

Since Leo is your sixth sign, and you have the bulk of your placements there, I'm inclined to read it as a need to turn a hobby into a job. Do you have any hobbies that could become a job? Define "hobby" very broadly. It doesn't necessarily have to be something that most people would consider a hobby. It can be anything you've developed some skill at because you wanted to do it, not because you had to.

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Well, I really enjoy posting on online forums and talking to people from all over the world. This is my biggest hobby. I also enjoy reading, writing and learning English, however these are all very solitary pursuits. They don't help me find guys. I am not the type to go clubbing or hang out at bars, so these options are out, too. I sometimes play computer games but truth be told, I dont really want a gamer as a boyfriend. Of course, not all gamers are nerdy or lack social skills, however I just can't quite get past it. I would want someone who is relatively "normal".

You probably do need someone who shares your life's work. That's a message of this house placement. But that doesn't mean work as in the job you took to pay your bills. That means true vocation. What is your real calling? What service can you give to society, from your own being? Your chart suggests looking to what you enjoy as the first step to answering that question.

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I actually want to build a website of my own, one that has a forum just like this one. I guess you can call that a true vocation. But even if it does happen, I kind of doubt that it would lead to anything, because uprooting my life and moving to a faraway place just for a crush, is not very practical. I still want to have my own site and forum though, because I find that people who post on message boards tend to be very intelligent (you being one of them, Osa). They also tend to be really unique, one-of-a-kind, and this is highly attractive to me.

Funny you should mention service. I am actually very big on being of service to others. I tend to base my sense of self-worth on how much help I can be to people. Very spot-on, Osa.

ElenaJ said:

"And yes, with a mask on, it is very difficult indeed to smile at someone!"

Sorry, but you can see a smile through the eyes!

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That is true, Elena.

chiamaria said:

The bolded parts in particular concern me. Are you 100% sure that someone quit because you made them uncomfortable? Did you hear them admitting that? If that's definitely the case, then I would look at how you're behaving around someone for them to actually go out of their way leave a job just because of one person. It may be a case of coming on too strong or coming across as creepy.

There is also a danger in trying too hard. It's not supposed to be like that. This can cause the above issues if you are trying hard, because it means you are giving off an air of desperation and being too available, which can repel. I'm of the belief that guys in general prefer to be the chasers, and they don't want the woman to be too ready to fall into his lap. The easier you get something, the less you tend to value it.

I guess, without seeing how you are in real life, it's hard to make certain determinations. I'm not meaning to say you're definitely creepy or anything, so apologies if I came across as harsh, I'm just suggesting what might be the case based on the above info.

I would try and get to the bottom of what drives you to be the way you are around guys you like, natal chart aside. Is it cause you feel you won't find anyone else ever and he's your only shot? Or feeling like you have a lack of self worth? Or something else entirely? If you work on building up your inner worth, recognising that you have valuable qualities to bring to a relationship and that you are worthy of being in a loving relationship just by virtue of being you, you may feel less of an urgency to try hard and jump at guys, because you'll feel more self-assurance.

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No need to apologize, I am not offended. And what you said makes a lot of sense.

I am not sure why I tend to chase guys, I don't know if it's because I have low self-worth. It just kind of happens for me a lot. I guess I can say that, it is natural for me to want to talk to someone that I like. When I like a guy, my gut instinct is to talk to him, interact with him, and find out more about him. I don't know if I do this in a "creepy" way or not.

I think what you said about guys preferring to do the chasing makes a lot of sense. It's what I have read in books, too. Apparently, men are "hunters", and they like to "conquer", so to speak. They want the woman to put up some kind of resistance. I guess I need to act more demure, if I want to get a guy.