Need a bit of hope!

Need a bit of hope - can we make this relationship a happy one?

My partner and I have been going through a very difficult time. Our relationship has been extremely challenging. Although we're both in love and committed to trying to make it work, the past few weeks have found us both often wondering whether that's even possible.

So - I've turned to astrology. I looked up our synastry chart and one website gave us 8 counts of "emotional pain" aspects, which sounds terrible.

We have a lot going for us IRL. We care about each other, we're kind to each other, we have a ton in common and we are attracted to and respect the hell out of each other. We also face a lot of challenges from family etc and want to create lives of safety, security and happiness with each other away from all that.

I guess what I really want is for someone more informed than I am to look at our chart and tell me whether they see any cause for hope there. Can people make relationships work with such challenging aspects? Or more importantly, make them happy and fulfilling as well as just ongoing?


PS. My place and time of birth are accurate, but my partners aren't quite (they're very close approximations) and she doesn't have access to them

Edited to add composite chart

Bump - new to this so if there's any way in which I could make the post more accessible/readable please let me know

Moons both aries, impulsive; wear pearl over silver pendant;

Suns gemini-cancer, 2/12, lords mer-cancer, semi-friendly, not as compatible;
gemini analytical and confused decision making;
cancer sensitive, possessive;

Ascendants cancer-acquarius, 6/8, lords moon-sat unfriendly, severe conflict,
not compatible. acquarius mystic, reformist, innovative, uncertain;


hope this helps reflections, share feedbacks how true, wishing well,


JYOTISHBHUSHAN SHANTARAM

Thank you!

I've done a deeper dive now into the synastry and composite, and I think that the dynamics you are picking up on are definitely there. The cancer/Aquarius conflict isn't one I had thought about before but it fits.

Re: Need a bit of hope - can we make this relationship a happy one?

Asmau said:

My partner and I have been going through a very difficult time. Our relationship has been extremely challenging. Although we're both in love and committed to trying to make it work, the past few weeks have found us both often wondering whether that's even possible.

So - I've turned to astrology. I looked up our synastry chart and one website gave us 8 counts of "emotional pain" aspects, which sounds terrible.

We have a lot going for us IRL. We care about each other, we're kind to each other, we have a ton in common and we are attracted to and respect the hell out of each other. We also face a lot of challenges from family etc and want to create lives of safety, security and happiness with each other away from all that.

I guess what I really want is for someone more informed than I am to look at our chart and tell me whether they see any cause for hope there. Can people make relationships work with such challenging aspects? Or more importantly, make them happy and fulfilling as well as just ongoing?


PS. My place and time of birth are accurate, but my partners aren't quite (they're very close approximations) and she doesn't have access to them

Edited to add composite chart

Click to expand...

I would need both charts to comment on your relationships. I prefer doing relationship astrology by reading the two natal charts. I will use synastry or composite, but my main method is understanding both charts to see what's going on. If you could post your partner's chart, I'll be happy to look at both.

Oh thank you so much!

Attaching the two charts here.

I've also had my own go at reading the charts, which is here if it's of interest: https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138068

Asmau said:

Oh thank you so much!

Attaching the two charts here.

I've also had my own go at reading the charts, which is here if it's of interest: https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138068

Click to expand...

I appreciate you posting the charts but it's really hard to read them when they aren't side by side. I could pull up a dual page on my software if I had the birth data of both charts. The chart style isn't easy for me to read either. I should have mentioned that.

Harmelia said:

I appreciate you posting the charts but it's really hard to read them when they aren't side by side. I could pull up a dual page on my software if I had the birth data of both charts. The chart style isn't easy for me to read either. I should have mentioned that.

Click to expand...

Just sent a PM!

Re: Need a bit of hope - can we make this relationship a happy one?

Asmau said:

My partner and I have been going through a very difficult time. Our relationship has been extremely challenging. Although we're both in love and committed to trying to make it work, the past few weeks have found us both often wondering whether that's even possible.

So - I've turned to astrology. I looked up our synastry chart and one website gave us 8 counts of "emotional pain" aspects, which sounds terrible.

We have a lot going for us IRL. We care about each other, we're kind to each other, we have a ton in common and we are attracted to and respect the hell out of each other. We also face a lot of challenges from family etc and want to create lives of safety, security and happiness with each other away from all that.

I guess what I really want is for someone more informed than I am to look at our chart and tell me whether they see any cause for hope there. Can people make relationships work with such challenging aspects? Or more importantly, make them happy and fulfilling as well as just ongoing?


PS. My place and time of birth are accurate, but my partners aren't quite (they're very close approximations) and she doesn't have access to them

Edited to add composite chart

Click to expand...

You are both having your first Saturn Returns right now - and the Saturn Return is usually a very difficult period for people. Since your relationship has been so good and loving until now, I would decide to give each other a lot of space right now - to attend to your individual reactions to Saturn returning to its natal position.

Usually the Saturn return lasts about a year because TR Saturn will retrograde back over the natal Saturn and then go direct over again - so three passes. Your Saturn Return began on Jan 21 and ended Feb 7, 2021. Yours is very short because Saturn will not retrograde back to your natal Saturn. You just had one pass - although you may have felt it coming before Jan 21 and you may be feeling the effects well after Feb 7. I use a 1-degree orb for transits.

Your partner's return started Feb 2 and the first pass lasted a month. Saturn will return and station at 6 degrees on her natal Saturn, and by Nov 11, 2021, will be gone. Saturn is making a bigger impact upon her. Her Saturn is in a more sensitive place than yours - on her ASC. So, this even is going to challenge her more than you - but most people feel it to be challenging.

The Saturn Return demands authenticity - so if a person is not doing what he or she is truly meant to do in life, then the return will demand a change. It makes a person question what they want to do with their lives. It's an infusion of soul-energy - and so ultimately, it's a reckoning with our Souls to do its bidding. Who are you and what do you need to do to be an authentic person? Who do you want to be be? What work would make you the most happy? How do you want to live your life? What is most meaningful? These are the kinds of questions people are challenged with at the Saturn Return. How we respond sets up the next stage of our lives.

Independence and good boundaries are actually important to both of you. You both have Aries Moon. You have Sun in First house and she has Aquarius rising - all independent type energy. So I'm going to stick with my advice - decide not to decide anything right now. It's time to give each other room and don't worry about "working out" all the details of your lives right now. I'm not saying to separate - just allow some time for each of you to think about your lives as individuals - and keep loving each other. I would not worry about stressful synastry aspects. All couples have them. There is no perfect synastry chart. Trust me. Even if there were, it wouldn't mean anything. People respond differently to the aspects anyway.

If you feel a real need, get a reading with a good astrologer - to help you through it. But I think you'll be okay. A little space or distance - a little loving affirmation that it's okay to have a chaotic period or a confusing period together, will make you stronger in the end. This is a time for individual soul searching - so be there for each other - be a witness for each other's Saturn Return.

Wow this is incredibly helpful, kind and considered. Thank you so much!

I had been wondering about the effects of Saturn return (esp since my Saturn is conjunct her ascendant, opposite her Venus and Mars, trine her Mercury ). We also have Venus opp Saturn in our composite! Most of our relationship has been during Saturn in Aquarius, which is also our natal Saturn sign.

That period of Jan - early February was also the worst for me in this relationship, which coincides with my own return. To be honest a lot of our ongoing conversations are rooted in that period! It's also been a time of considerable change and upheaval for us both (new jobs, new lives in new countries - we're temporarily doing long distance etc).

So I'm going to try to focus on lessening the restrictive feel of my Saturn on her as much as I can. Otherwise roll with it and see what we learn.

Asmau said:

Wow this is incredibly helpful, kind and considered. Thank you so much!

I had been wondering about the effects of Saturn return (esp since my Saturn is conjunct her ascendant, opposite her Venus and Mars, trine her Mercury ). We also have Venus opp Saturn in our composite! Most of our relationship has been during Saturn in Aquarius, which is also our natal Saturn sign.

That period of Jan - early February was also the worst for me in this relationship, which coincides with my own return. To be honest a lot of our ongoing conversations are rooted in that period! It's also been a time of considerable change and upheaval for us both (new jobs, new lives in new countries - we're temporarily doing long distance etc).

So I'm going to try to focus on lessening the restrictive feel of my Saturn on her as much as I can. Otherwise roll with it and see what we learn.

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I'm glad I was helpful. I wish you both the best - I hope you come through it together, as it sounds like you've got something special.