We have been dating 4.5 years, we met in our early college years and we fell in love at-first-sight.. & still are, we are deeply magnetized toward each other (Sun in the 12th trine pluto in the fifth..)
we are graduating college in 2 weeks, we are planning to move across the country to Washington D.C., we both have potential internships there. I am so worried about continuing a life with him there - I also have an option to go to New York for a different internship this was my original plan then all of a sudden he asked me to go to Washington with him and I am considering it ofcourse....but I also have many doubts
Venus and Chiron in the 2nd, is this indicative of a loving and healing journey together? our relationship has felt healing to me in many ways but in other it keeps me wounded time and time again.
composite saturn in the 8th
We have an intense emotional rollercoaster of a relationship because of this I have felt much too depressed, drained, and burdened - I have tried to break up with him many times (ALL my aries moon impulsivity's doing because I immediately regret it but still, I do have those initial thoughts)
we have Mars square Saturn, I have Natal Sun square Saturn in a tight orb of 1degree... we argue A LOT it permeates most of our conversation together I often wish in my mind that we would just get along more harmoniously .....composite moon in Aries I guess emotional harmony will never be our strong suit
we typically will not talk for a few days then talk again...sometimes we talk about our issues sometimes we don't - it is usually my bringing-up of the relationship issues, he tends to shove them under the rug and let them rot but he does not even realize he is doing this....he is so preoccupied with WORK WORK WORK he thinks things are all peaches & rainbows sometimes when I am boiling, brewing, hurting beneath the surface......
the nature of our relationship feels very unstable at some points because of this. Sun opposite saturn? when he needs me emotionally, I feel unavailable. I have to push myself extra to be there for him. When I need him emotionally, he is unavailable and has to give extra effort to be there for me. This is fine and all but lately we have been alternating these roles TOO many times within one day I am truly exhausted...... I have just left town to seek some peace and solace (gemini sun flapping my butterfly wings when things get too heavy)..
After dating over 4 years we have a deep commitment to eachother - we do speak on marriage and living together - we both paint many pretty pictures of what our future would look like to eachother.
composite sun opposite neptune in tight orb makes me worry that our promises to eachother are an idealization.. yes I *feel* like I want to continue building a future with him but my mind has many angel/devil on the shoulder thoughts (gemini sun here)
I wonder if he stays with me out of fear of the unknown, he has Taurus moon he values stability... I am also his first and only ever girlfriend...
pluto in the 5th - is this not a good placement for having children or? I work with children for a living they permeate my entire life, he has never worked with children and feels very nervous talking about them but says he is fine with having children just 'way later in life'..
we also have composite jupiter, saturn, uranus, pluto ALL retrograde does this indicate much karmic duties to each other?
I have been reading about my scorpio north node so much lately, he shares this node placement with me as well. I have been consciously working towards streaming away from "old way's" of my south node in Taurus but whenever I talk to him about certain NN in scorpio character traits to work towards (ex: not hoarding material possessions) he views it as an insult to "what makes him happy" he doesn't believe in "living lightly" at all he believes because he works extremely hard (virgo sun) that he deserves nice things, a big house, nice cars, high-quality furniture, extravagant dates (he has Taurus moon) I feel this makes it more difficult to stray away from the old ways of our Taurus south node, as we typically do tend to indulge when we are together. I am worried this relationship will yes ofcourse help me grow career wise (moon in the 10th, mercury in the 1st) we have a very strong public image, he is an aerospace engineer soon to be working for NASA, I am a teacher oversees I work with refugee children in other countries and my dream is to work for UNHCR or UNICEF...... So while we are great for eachother energetically in our careers I deeply deeply fear that we will come up short emotionally for eachother.. I especially fear this as I am an extremely emotional lover, he has mercury in virgo he says he has a very difficult time expressing his emotions, he also has mars in cancer, when I express my aries-ruled moons emotions he does not like my brashness and he retreats into his shell like a crab, we have been working on these issues for 4 years....
I try to be softer but then I feel like I have to consciously walk on egg-shells with him when he his upset but whats funny is he says the same thing about me........
our composite sun is in the 12th house I know this relationship will deeply transform me it definitely has in the last 4 years and still continues to do so.. 12th house is also the house of self-undoing I feel this is very true for the both of us - we tend to take 3 steps forward and 4 backwards quite often...... could sun in the 12th be interpreted as a looming end to our relationship at some point in our lives once we have cleared karmic debt?
sun in 12th house opposite uranus and neptune in the 6th - i've read this makes for an unequal relationship? secret affairs? Throughout the last 2 years of being with him I have had many side-lovers this sounds shady it is not - they have all been strictly platonic relationships but they are still people that secretly draw my energy in..yes they are heavy 12th house friendships...
mutual friends of me and these "side lovers" have questioned whether or not I am cheating on him I tell them no it is hard to explain... we are strictly friends we just share many things between us that my boyfriend and I do not share therefore it energizes me and I feel deeply bound to the friendships as long as they do not cross boundaries and try to take things further I am ok with this...I am a gemini sun aries moon cancer venus I have NNode in Scorpio I am deeply energized and stimulated through bonding with other people!
ANYWAYS
back to the initial "Secret affairs" question; because of my experience ^ I wonder if the same serves true for him? if there could be girls he is friends with currently that he deeply connects with and would consider a relationship with if he were not bound to me?
hmmmm
also,
our three composite t-squares worry me but I have yet to learn how to interpret these..
we are graduating college in 2 weeks, we are planning to move across the country to Washington D.C., we both have potential internships there. I am so worried about continuing a life with him there - I also have an option to go to New York for a different internship this was my original plan then all of a sudden he asked me to go to Washington with him and I am considering it ofcourse....but I also have many doubts
Venus and Chiron in the 2nd, is this indicative of a loving and healing journey together? our relationship has felt healing to me in many ways but in other it keeps me wounded time and time again.
composite saturn in the 8th
We have an intense emotional rollercoaster of a relationship because of this I have felt much too depressed, drained, and burdened - I have tried to break up with him many times (ALL my aries moon impulsivity's doing because I immediately regret it but still, I do have those initial thoughts)
we have Mars square Saturn, I have Natal Sun square Saturn in a tight orb of 1degree... we argue A LOT it permeates most of our conversation together I often wish in my mind that we would just get along more harmoniously .....composite moon in Aries I guess emotional harmony will never be our strong suit
we typically will not talk for a few days then talk again...sometimes we talk about our issues sometimes we don't - it is usually my bringing-up of the relationship issues, he tends to shove them under the rug and let them rot but he does not even realize he is doing this....he is so preoccupied with WORK WORK WORK he thinks things are all peaches & rainbows sometimes when I am boiling, brewing, hurting beneath the surface......
the nature of our relationship feels very unstable at some points because of this. Sun opposite saturn? when he needs me emotionally, I feel unavailable. I have to push myself extra to be there for him. When I need him emotionally, he is unavailable and has to give extra effort to be there for me. This is fine and all but lately we have been alternating these roles TOO many times within one day I am truly exhausted...... I have just left town to seek some peace and solace (gemini sun flapping my butterfly wings when things get too heavy)..
After dating over 4 years we have a deep commitment to eachother - we do speak on marriage and living together - we both paint many pretty pictures of what our future would look like to eachother.
composite sun opposite neptune in tight orb makes me worry that our promises to eachother are an idealization.. yes I *feel* like I want to continue building a future with him but my mind has many angel/devil on the shoulder thoughts (gemini sun here)
I wonder if he stays with me out of fear of the unknown, he has Taurus moon he values stability... I am also his first and only ever girlfriend...
pluto in the 5th - is this not a good placement for having children or? I work with children for a living they permeate my entire life, he has never worked with children and feels very nervous talking about them but says he is fine with having children just 'way later in life'..
we also have composite jupiter, saturn, uranus, pluto ALL retrograde does this indicate much karmic duties to each other?
I have been reading about my scorpio north node so much lately, he shares this node placement with me as well. I have been consciously working towards streaming away from "old way's" of my south node in Taurus but whenever I talk to him about certain NN in scorpio character traits to work towards (ex: not hoarding material possessions) he views it as an insult to "what makes him happy" he doesn't believe in "living lightly" at all he believes because he works extremely hard (virgo sun) that he deserves nice things, a big house, nice cars, high-quality furniture, extravagant dates (he has Taurus moon) I feel this makes it more difficult to stray away from the old ways of our Taurus south node, as we typically do tend to indulge when we are together. I am worried this relationship will yes ofcourse help me grow career wise (moon in the 10th, mercury in the 1st) we have a very strong public image, he is an aerospace engineer soon to be working for NASA, I am a teacher oversees I work with refugee children in other countries and my dream is to work for UNHCR or UNICEF...... So while we are great for eachother energetically in our careers I deeply deeply fear that we will come up short emotionally for eachother.. I especially fear this as I am an extremely emotional lover, he has mercury in virgo he says he has a very difficult time expressing his emotions, he also has mars in cancer, when I express my aries-ruled moons emotions he does not like my brashness and he retreats into his shell like a crab, we have been working on these issues for 4 years....
I try to be softer but then I feel like I have to consciously walk on egg-shells with him when he his upset but whats funny is he says the same thing about me........
our composite sun is in the 12th house I know this relationship will deeply transform me it definitely has in the last 4 years and still continues to do so.. 12th house is also the house of self-undoing I feel this is very true for the both of us - we tend to take 3 steps forward and 4 backwards quite often...... could sun in the 12th be interpreted as a looming end to our relationship at some point in our lives once we have cleared karmic debt?
sun in 12th house opposite uranus and neptune in the 6th - i've read this makes for an unequal relationship? secret affairs? Throughout the last 2 years of being with him I have had many side-lovers this sounds shady it is not - they have all been strictly platonic relationships but they are still people that secretly draw my energy in..yes they are heavy 12th house friendships...
mutual friends of me and these "side lovers" have questioned whether or not I am cheating on him I tell them no it is hard to explain... we are strictly friends we just share many things between us that my boyfriend and I do not share therefore it energizes me and I feel deeply bound to the friendships as long as they do not cross boundaries and try to take things further I am ok with this...I am a gemini sun aries moon cancer venus I have NNode in Scorpio I am deeply energized and stimulated through bonding with other people!
ANYWAYS
back to the initial "Secret affairs" question; because of my experience ^ I wonder if the same serves true for him? if there could be girls he is friends with currently that he deeply connects with and would consider a relationship with if he were not bound to me?
hmmmm
also,
our three composite t-squares worry me but I have yet to learn how to interpret these..
