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  #1  
Unread 06-10-2013, 12:00 AM
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DebbieMarie54 DebbieMarie54 is offline
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Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

It was not all that long ago I wrote a short post asking whether Pluto trine Venus might bring money instead of love because I surely did not ever want to fall in love again!

My heart has softened since then I wrote that. I wrote that earlier post because of some experiences I had with my ex-husband whom I divorced in 1996. For 17 years I hated men and did not date.

But late in 2012 something came alive in me, itís like I was seeing men for the first time, and I liked all of them, but I knew I could only chose one to be intimate with.

There was one man in particular I had been spending time with, James. He and I had been friends for 1 year. He was the computer guy in the neighborhood, who like so many had lost his job in California, and was trying the best he knew how to pay his bills. I found him easy to talk to and he could make me laugh so easily. I found I wanted to be around him more often.

James and I became romantically involved. There have been ups and downs. On the plus side Iíve never felt so emotionally connected to a man. James has the best sense of humor and can keep me laughing all day. I think heís adorable. We share the same values and life perspective.

James takes medicine for Bipolar Disorder. The medicine works well.


On the downside, I sometimes feel the relationship is one-sided with me giving more than receiving. We have frequent breakups and makeups with him promising to learn and grow. In fact he is starting counseling in two weeks. But I donít know if some things can ever change: He is not very affectionate; He is not very attentive; He is rather self-centered. Iím concerned these qualities cannot be changed.


I have NEVER experience instability in a relationship like I have with this one. I realize now that I do want to love again; I do want to marry again; I donít know whether I want to marry James. James want to marry me.

Can someone tell me what the likelihood is that I will marry James?


When are things going to settle down for me and become more stable? Do you see me getting married?

Also, Iím looking for work. Do you see a job for me?

Thank you,
DebbieMarie
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File Type: jpg Debbie-Astrodienst.jpg (75.6 KB, 27 views)
File Type: jpg James Astrodienst.jpg (65.5 KB, 17 views)

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  #2  
Unread 06-18-2013, 01:08 AM
rahu rahu is offline
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

hi
you might post a midpoint composite.
i would have calculated it myself but his chart image is too large to allow me to read the birth data

rahu
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  #3  
Unread 06-18-2013, 09:56 PM
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DebbieMarie54 DebbieMarie54 is offline
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

I have attached another chart for James. I didn't know how to construct the chart you were asking for. Sorry. Thank you for taking a look at this.

DebbieMarie
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File Type: pdf astro_w2at_01_james_hp.78653.9389.pdf (59.2 KB, 15 views)
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  #4  
Unread 06-19-2013, 05:59 PM
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Thank you for your analysis. Tough to hear.

How would you interpret what is coming up for me early next year then, with the good Pluto/Venus aspect? Will another man be coming into my life?? If so, can you see when I might meet him?

Thank you,

DebbieMarie

Last edited by DebbieMarie54; 06-19-2013 at 06:05 PM.
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  #5  
Unread 06-20-2013, 09:19 PM
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

DM54, I can't say whether you will marry James or not. But based on your chart and the aspect table you posted for him (his chart is illegible) I would say you look like great pals, with your suns trined; but not such great lovers for the long haul. (I also look for good aspects between your moons, and inter-aspects with Mars and Venus.)

Interestingly, you've got your sun in the 7th house of marriage, which suggests that a long-term relationship is important to you whether you are in one or not-- despite your long hiatus. But your Aries nature (with a Uranus square in the mix) needs a fair bit of space! Then Neptune opposes your sun, in the same degree. You may not expect men to be straightforward, honest, or reliable with you.

You've already expressed some reservations about James and his sensitivity towards your feelings-- there is no reason to think these would disappear with marriage. Would he commit to caring for you when you are an old woman and he's still in middle age? Marriage is also a financial transaction, so you would need to get a clear sense about how well he handles money.

James has his sun and moon square Neptune. Not everybody with these aspects has drug or alcohol problems, and not every substance abuser has these aspects, but they are fairly common. You would need to be sure of his sobriety.

Then let's look at the age gap. What have James's relationships been like up to this point? Is he looking for a mother figure to anchor him somehow? I don't mean to be rude or to insult your good judgement, but merely to take a very realistic look at things. James's chart is loaded with Leo ("the sign of the child") and Mercury-ruled Virgo. If you see a kind of Peter Pan side to James's nature, please be very careful.

Why not enjoy each other's company for a while, without committed to a more serious step?
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

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  #6  
Unread 06-20-2013, 09:39 PM
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Thank you, Waybread. Thank you so much!
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  #7  
Unread 06-22-2013, 11:24 PM
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Dear Waybread,

Upon further reflection, I guess I do have some comments. Please consider the following:

When you see an age difference in a relationship between two people as in our case, I can understand why you might question someone's ability to sustain the relationship long-term. And you may wonder whether James, in this case, is looking for someone "to anchor him."

All of us, as you know, are on a soul's journey, trying to become whole people, hoping somewhere along the way we will learn to want others but not need them. Above all we are here to complete the mission the Universe sent us here to do.

But on this journey we are all still very imperfect human beings with baggage from the past trying to heal ourselves with the help of those who have gone before us. In effect, most of us are in some form of recovery or rehabilitation. We do better when we know better, and we improve as we go along.

James and I are both a kid at heart. James is playful and quite the comedian. I love the child in him. He and I laugh a lot. We play well together. We had rough childhoods. We grew up too fast. We both love to play.

I like younger men. He likes older women. If he needs an anchor, after all he has been though, I think the Universe and the gods would grant him that one, because he sure never had anchor before.

Not everyone can find everything they need within themselves. And this idealistic view is too much to ask of everybody.

This is not to say it is destiny for me marry James. It may or may not be. I wish someone could tell me if they see someone else entering my life next year.

James did have problems with substance abuse in his past. Lots of people do. But he has been clean and sober for awhile now.

I guess what I'm really saying is, charcteristics that may seem like they may work against the relationship may actually work for the relationship. It depends on the needs of that couple.

Thank you for looking at our charts.

Thank you,

DebbieMarie




Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
DM54, I can't say whether you will marry James or not. But based on your chart and the aspect table you posted for him (his chart is illegible) I would say you look like great pals, with your suns trined; but not such great lovers for the long haul. (I also look for good aspects between your moons, and inter-aspects with Mars and Venus.)

Interestingly, you've got your sun in the 7th house of marriage, which suggests that a long-term relationship is important to you whether you are in one or not-- despite your long hiatus. But your Aries nature (with a Uranus square in the mix) needs a fair bit of space! Then Neptune opposes your sun, in the same degree. You may not expect men to be straightforward, honest, or reliable with you.

You've already expressed some reservations about James and his sensitivity towards your feelings-- there is no reason to think these would disappear with marriage. Would he commit to caring for you when you are an old woman and he's still in middle age? Marriage is also a financial transaction, so you would need to get a clear sense about how well he handles money.

James has his sun and moon square Neptune. Not everybody with these aspects has drug or alcohol problems, and not every substance abuser has these aspects, but they are fairly common. You would need to be sure of his sobriety.

Then let's look at the age gap. What have James's relationships been like up to this point? Is he looking for a mother figure to anchor him somehow? I don't mean to be rude or to insult your good judgement, but merely to take a very realistic look at things. James's chart is loaded with Leo ("the sign of the child") and Mercury-ruled Virgo. If you see a kind of Peter Pan side to James's nature, please be very careful.

Why not enjoy each other's company for a while, without committed to a more serious step?
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  #8  
Unread 06-23-2013, 12:03 AM
Krewster Krewster is offline
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

The image of James' chart is too degraded to read the birth data needed to recast at home.

So looking just at you:

-your Ven is at the top of a NovaKite sort of config Nept 160 Ven spine Jup 80 Merc crossbeam; or, for the faint of heart, just focus on the 40-80-40 triangle among Merc-Ven-Jup, with orbs ranging from 4 to 38 min); all indicating a socially well-integrated elegance and grace (both alluring-wise and mental) which will bring you true romantic opportunities any time desired, n'est-ce-pas?

-T Sat has been 45'ing your Moon (as it did quickly last Nov), depressing you in a word (it is over after the first week of Aug).
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  #9  
Unread 06-23-2013, 03:38 AM
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

DebbieMarie, thank you for your thoughtful response. It isn't the job of a stranger on an astrology Internet forum to tell you how to live your life. I think most of us who read charts try to be helpful, that's all.

I personally don't do much predictive work. As you are a spiritual person, I would say that I don't believe in some pre-destined trajectory, such that a clever astrologer opens the book of the future and reads what it says. I don't think that we're like a bunch of mechanical Energizer bunnies, wound up and released to hop along exactly as we're designed to do. To me it seems obvious that you have some choices to make, day by day, and that these choices affect future outcomes. Ditto for James and others in your life.

I think astrology can say that there are favourable and unfavourable, or likely and unlikely times for something to happen. With uranus now in your 7th house of marriage, you can expect the unexpected, which can mean sudden endings and beginnings. Pluto is now sitting exactly on the cusp of your 4th house of "home" and opposing your 10th house of career cusp. Pluto is the energy of profound transformation, but if we resist it, it can seem pretty ruthless. On the eve of your second Saturn return, you can expect a lot of change in these major areas of your life. You can begin to forecast your impending transition from middle age to your coming senior status. I think the universe is asking you now to undertake some pretty dramatic change-- to reinvent yourself in some way.

But you decide how!
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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  #10  
Unread 06-23-2013, 05:45 PM
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DebbieMarie54 DebbieMarie54 is offline
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Thank you, Waybread:

I think of Pluto as House Cleaner:

He has a big broom and comes in and sweeps all the dubris away that doesn't need to be in my life anymore. I love Pluto. Because the things that are hard for me to let go of, Pluto yanks out of my hands. This is how it has always worked for me. Then as I place one foot in front of the other trying to recovery from the loss, I am somehow transported to the next destination assigned for me. My soul continues to grow and I am at peace again.

I realize that not everyone in our lives is meant to stay forever. Some are in our lives but for a season....just to teach us something about ourselves. Then when their assignment is up they move on. I understand this.

However, most of us need much more solid, stable, permanent bonds as well.

I look forward to whatever transformation Pluto has in store for me. I am always better and wiser afterwards.

Thank you,

DebbieMarie


Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
DebbieMarie, thank you for your thoughtful response. It isn't the job of a stranger on an astrology Internet forum to tell you how to live your life. I think most of us who read charts try to be helpful, that's all.

I personally don't do much predictive work. As you are a spiritual person, I would say that I don't believe in some pre-destined trajectory, such that a clever astrologer opens the book of the future and reads what it says. I don't think that we're like a bunch of mechanical Energizer bunnies, wound up and released to hop along exactly as we're designed to do. To me it seems obvious that you have some choices to make, day by day, and that these choices affect future outcomes. Ditto for James and others in your life.

I think astrology can say that there are favourable and unfavourable, or likely and unlikely times for something to happen. With uranus now in your 7th house of marriage, you can expect the unexpected, which can mean sudden endings and beginnings. Pluto is now sitting exactly on the cusp of your 4th house of "home" and opposing your 10th house of career cusp. Pluto is the energy of profound transformation, but if we resist it, it can seem pretty ruthless. On the eve of your second Saturn return, you can expect a lot of change in these major areas of your life. You can begin to forecast your impending transition from middle age to your coming senior status. I think the universe is asking you now to undertake some pretty dramatic change-- to reinvent yourself in some way.

But you decide how!
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  #11  
Unread 06-23-2013, 05:51 PM
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DebbieMarie54 DebbieMarie54 is offline
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Is this anymore readable than the other one?? I had a hard time getting another wheel to upload. I don't know why.

Thank you.



P.S. Just realized I already uploaded this. Sorry.
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File Type: pdf astro_w2at_01_james_hp.78653.9389.pdf (59.2 KB, 1 views)

Last edited by DebbieMarie54; 06-23-2013 at 05:58 PM.
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  #12  
Unread 06-23-2013, 06:07 PM
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DebbieMarie54 DebbieMarie54 is offline
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Wow Krewster:

Thank You!

I have so much to learn. I hope one day I can look at my chart and see what you see. I'm new to the forum, and learning and growing everyday. It can be overwhelming. There is so much information on this forum!!

I feel sexy and alluring just as your post suggests, but my body is short with a few extra pounds and the guys like those thin tall gals. Ugh!!

DebbieMarie




Quote:
Originally Posted by Krewster View Post
The image of James' chart is too degraded to read the birth data needed to recast at home.

So looking just at you:

-your Ven is at the top of a NovaKite sort of config Nept 160 Ven spine Jup 80 Merc crossbeam; or, for the faint of heart, just focus on the 40-80-40 triangle among Merc-Ven-Jup, with orbs ranging from 4 to 38 min); all indicating a socially well-integrated elegance and grace (both alluring-wise and mental) which will bring you true romantic opportunities any time desired, n'est-ce-pas?

-T Sat has been 45'ing your Moon (as it did quickly last Nov), depressing you in a word (it is over after the first week of Aug).
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  #13  
Unread 06-23-2013, 06:22 PM
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DebbieMarie54 DebbieMarie54 is offline
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Dear Rahu:

Well this is about the best news I've had in about 17 years!

I have had prophetic dreams before, so has my brother. Both my mother and I have heard the audible voices of our spirit guides which scared us have to death.

And you're right, my peer group doesn't understand me. Only a very select group of people understand me: people with metaphyicals beliefs. I see things and understand things in a way most people don't. I look at everything from a spiritual perspective.

You are exactly right when you say that I'm all about truth and fairness.

I love your reading. Very much appreciated!!

DebbieMarie




Quote:
Originally Posted by rahu View Post
whoaaaaa deb
i just looked at you chart and wow i is vey powweful but wi a few paradoxes.
first uranus conjunct he south node gives you access to the astral plane. this is an aspect of astral/flying dreams and prophetic dreams as well . but it also shows that you are so far ahead your peer goup thah you have been characteized as crazy a some point . bu with on sextile uranus ,you don' pgress to pathalogical mental states

you have a sun,sedna,vertex,vesta stelliu8m opposed to lilth and neptune.
his shows you are extremely moral, not necessilary inn a "religious sense ,but in a common sense way,that is you act with and expect truth from others. hough with neptune thee is spiritualoutlook also. with vesta this sense of truth runs deep through you.wih lilth,this fairness or morality is at the base of you lifes essence.

mars is conjunc nmphe so you are extremel romantic bu mars is opposed to rcus which draws very selfish if socially conscious men toward you.wih satrun square to psyche, the likelyhod of hearbreak is shown as you romanic feeling are often twarted.

the god news is that a great love will come o you in late july. it has the potential to turn into something serious. if marraige comes up in july, jump on it as the time is conducive to mariage. i would think i would be with a older man.

rahu
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  #14  
Unread 06-23-2013, 08:38 PM
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DebbieMarie54 View Post
Thank you, Waybread:

I think of Pluto as House Cleaner:

He has a big broom and comes in and sweeps all the dubris away that doesn't need to be in my life anymore. I love Pluto. Because the things that are hard for me to let go of, Pluto yanks out of my hands. This is how it has always worked for me. Then as I place one foot in front of the other trying to recovery from the loss, I am somehow transported to the next destination assigned for me. My soul continues to grow and I am at peace again.

....
I look forward to whatever transformation Pluto has in store for me. I am always better and wiser afterwards.

Thank you,

DebbieMarie
Just beautifully stated.
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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  #15  
Unread 07-22-2013, 09:44 PM
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DebbieMarie54 DebbieMarie54 is offline
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

Dear Rahu and Waybread:

This is a follow-up to earlier conversations we had. Both of you were correct in your predictions for James and I. I needed to let you know this.

At the time you both gave your analysis about our future, it was quite hard to hear. I didnít want to think the time I had invested had been wasted.

But rather quickly things took a turn. I felt suffocated, and I needed my freedom at any cost. I was tired of what felt like a caregiver/patient relationship.

Of course, things are never all bad in relationships. I miss the good that was there; the laughter; the passion, etc. However, I love having my life back.

I want to ask the two of you to forgive me and those of us who have an initial strong reaction to yours or anyoneís readings/predictions/analysis. Down deep we want to know. The truth takes a minute to adjust to. We know it in our hearts already. We just pray it isnít so. Then when experts such as yourself come along and say ďYes, what your spirit knows to be true is true,Ē we resist.

The time I invested with James was not wasted. I chose James. I have had another opportunity to ask myself why I choose needy men. My answer is: if I choose a needy man maybe he wonít abandon me like my mother did. I need freedom in relationships. I donít get that with men who are needy. I feel so overwhelmed with the needs of needy men, in the end I abandon them. Maybe I abandon them before they can abandon me.

I hope my next romantic attraction will be to a man who needs some space like me.

I want to learn more about transit to transit aspects. And transit to progression aspects. Do you know where I can find information on these topics? Iím having a hard time locating this information.

Also, how do I go about meeting people in my area who love Astrology like I do?

Thank you both for being so giving of yourselves.


DebbieMarie
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  #16  
Unread 07-25-2013, 11:47 PM
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Re: Does This Relationship Have A Chance?

DebbieMarie, you seem like a wise "old" soul (but in a beautiful, youthful body-- for sure!)

I sometimes get push-back from posters on my seemingly negative assessment. To me it is just "straight talk," but to them, it is obviously unwanted or hurtful. I appreciate your affirmation.
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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