Why the hell does he HATE me so much?

Okay, so here's the thing, I have a brother-in-law that lives with my family and I. He's married to my sister. In all honestly, I don't like him at all only because I know he doesn't like me, for whatever reason that I don't know. In fact, I rarely talk to that guy. We're like strangers that live in the same household, we just don't talk. And as for why I'm certain that he hates my guts, I can give you a few examples:

- He would give me a dirty look the second he sees me, almost like a "hate at first sight" sorta thing.

- He always tries to avoid me whenever he sees me come out of my room. It's hilarious, really.

- A few years ago, I remember he would say snarky comments at me as to intentionally hurt my feelings. Besides that, we don't normally talk, unless it's something negative.

- He's not appreciative of my kindness that I occasionally have for him. For example, giving him a gift for his birthday... but the idiot didn't say thanks.


- Overall, he's very cold towards me.


Seriously, what the hell is this guy's problem? I honestly don't understand his "unnatural" dislike for me. I say unnatural, because there wasn't anything remotely wrong that I did or said to him, like EVER, because quite frankly we barely even talk to begin with. Therefore that makes me think that there's probably something in our charts that causes that perpetual hatred he has of me. In fact, the last words of exchange that I did have with him was about... uh, 6 months ago, albeit a very brief one. And again, we live in the same household. We just barely talk.

Synastry is attached below. (I'm in the inside, he's the outside)

He’s attracted to you. You have indicators of that in your synastry. With guys, they get confused when they’re attracted to someone they shouldn’t be and try to overcompensate for their internal conflicted feelings by being aloof, rude, hateful...

This is a very unhealthy situation. The way he’s treating you isn’t okay.

Sagcap88 said:

He’s attracted to you. You have indicators of that in your synastry. With guys, they get confused when they’re attracted to someone they shouldn’t be and try to overcompensate for their internal conflicted feelings by being aloof, rude, hateful...

This is a very unhealthy situation. The way he’s treating you isn’t okay.

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But he's heterosexual and is married to my sister... I don't think that's true. What in the synastry makes you say that?


I'm a guy, btw.

Sagcap88 said:

He’s attracted to you. You have indicators of that in your synastry. With guys, they get confused when they’re attracted to someone they shouldn’t be and try to overcompensate for their internal conflicted feelings by being aloof, rude, hateful...

This is a very unhealthy situation. The way he’s treating you isn’t okay.

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What do you see in the synastry that indicates attraction?

I'm not entirely sure that assessment is inaccurate, but I do think that indicators of attraction can mean more than one kind of attraction. If the parties involved are the right combination of genders and sexual orientations for sexual attraction to develop, then indicators of attraction probably do mean sexual attraction. But it's also possible that they mean a different kind of attraction: platonic friend crush, admiration, that sort of thing. And, both kinds can exist at once. It's not cut and dried. But it may be a question of which kind of attraction is strongest.

I think a big part of it here is that astrologically, the two of you have a lot in common. Same moon sign, same rising sign, sun signs in the same element. That could create a "you're too much like me" dynamic.

I also find it interesting that you both have node connections to each other. His sun is on your north node, and your Mars is conjunct his south node. If someone has a planet on your north node, they bring something into your life that is unfamiliar to you, and it's something represented by that planet. If someone has a planet on your south node--or, like in this case, you have a planet on theirs--some say that means you knew each other in a past life, and there's unfinished business, represented by that planet. We could also regard it as you carrying a kind of energy that they feel is diminished in themselves (the south node has a shrinking effect on any planet near it).

If we go with the past life interpretation, you having Mars on his south node could mean you did him violence in a past life. In a more innocent interpretation, it could also mean you were brothers in arms, in some sense: fighting in a war together, being co-competitors, something like that. If we're looking at a competition interpretation, the Virgo placement of your Mars and Libra placement of his south node suggests a genteel kind of one upmanship: not fisticuffs, but outthinking each other, out strategizing each other, paying attention to detail. To use some creative license, maybe you and he were once politicians running against each other, or businessmen competing for a limited market. That it's your Mars on his south node suggests that if anyone came out ahead, it was you.

Both of you having an Aries moon in this lifetime indicates a deep seated, possibly unconscious, competitive streak on both your parts. I think he sees you, deep down and maybe unconsciously, as a competitor. Competitor for what, I don't know, but a competitor. Are you especially close to your sister? Could he be jealous of that relationship? Or is there something else that you're in some sort of competition for?

It's also possible, because Mars represents masculinity, that something about your version of masculinity is unsettling to him. Maybe you manifest a kind of masculinity that he disowns in himself. Mars conjunct Pluto in his chart (wide orb, but still conjunct), in his second house, in taboo Scorpio, suggests that he has some deep seated issues around what masculinity means to him, probably manifesting as body image issues.

In any case, I think there's something about you that unconsciously unsettles him. Maybe it's a disowned attraction, or maybe you reflect a side of himself that he isn't comfortable with. Maybe he does the same for you: sun on north node.

xyclomatic said:

But he's heterosexual and is married to my sister... I don't think that's true. What in the synastry makes you say that?


I'm a guy, btw.

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People in heterosexual marriages are not always perfectly straight. I wouldn't rule out attraction based on that. However, I wouldn't say it's sexual attraction right off the bat, either. I think the charts are ambiguous on that. See my post above.

xyclomatic said:

Okay, so here's the thing, I have a brother-in-law that lives with my family and I. He's married to my sister. In all honestly, I don't like him at all only because I know he doesn't like me, for whatever reason that I don't know. In fact, I rarely talk to that guy. We're like strangers that live in the same household, we just don't talk. And as for why I'm certain that he hates my guts, I can give you a few examples:

- He would give me a dirty look the second he sees me, almost like a "hate at first sight" sorta thing.

- He always tries to avoid me whenever he sees me come out of my room. It's hilarious, really.

- A few years ago, I remember he would say snarky comments at me as to intentionally hurt my feelings. Besides that, we don't normally talk, unless it's something negative.

- He's not appreciative of my kindness that I occasionally have for him. For example, giving him a gift for his birthday... but the idiot didn't say thanks.


- Overall, he's very cold towards me.


Seriously, what the hell is this guy's problem? I honestly don't understand his "unnatural" dislike for me. I say unnatural, because there wasn't anything remotely wrong that I did or said to him, like EVER, because quite frankly we barely even talk to begin with. Therefore that makes me think that there's probably something in our charts that causes that perpetual hatred he has of me. In fact, the last words of exchange that I did have with him was about... uh, 6 months ago, albeit a very brief one. And again, we live in the same household. We just barely talk.

Synastry is attached below. (I'm in the inside, he's the outside)

Click to expand...

I don't see a sexual attraction, there are several aspects of arguments and even deep hostility in the composite.
rahu

[Deleted attacking comment. - Moderator]

the composite chart(not the synastry that you posted) has several aspects of discord.
First off the T square of Jupiter square to the sun/mars opposition to the moon/eris has elements of argument and differences. with eris and the moon, jealously is likely also.
The Jupiter/Uranus midpoint is square the sun which also is an aspect of discord and potential violence.
The mars/nessus midpoint is also conjunct the sun which by itself is a violent tendency.
The venus/mars midpoint is conjunct the nessus/sun midpoint again showing a emotional tension create by thecompletion of power within the family group.
With Jupiter/mars square’s midpoint square to juno and lilth,again there is a potential rivalry for recognition within the family group.
Nessus/Uranus midpoint is conjunct to ixion which is exceptional prone to violence. Here with nessus,it seems the afore mentioned jealousy might have to do with your sister, which might be indicated by the mars/Neptune midpoint opposed to liltih and conjunctto juno.
The sun/Saturn midpoint is conjunct to juno and opposed to Lilith, which agin could show jealously or issues with your sister.
There is also a possibility that he wants to be the alpha male here. I would wonder if his economic status is inferior to your families. If so this could be a factor in the tensions.

With the mars/pluto midpoint square to pallas and the node, again there is a feminine principle that might be part of the underlying jealous engendered by eris conjunct the moon.


(i notice my previous post was altered...it seems I can't even tell the poster I will respond today)

rahu

any comments/feedback!

kshantaram said:

both moons aries, impulsive;

both ascendants virgo, critical thinking and attitude;

suns leo-sag trine, lords sun -jup friendly, compatible;

both sensitive-wise pisces 7th, inimical for critical virgo asc,
stress-delays in relationships-vocation;

well, like poles could repel?


hope this helps reflect further,


kshantaram

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