Please help me understand my person <3

This is the chart of my neighbour who I have been having relations with on and off since the start of lockdown. We were just friends for the first 6 months though and we have been on and off. Currently, we are on and it has recently heated up between us but I am worried about how serious he is. Last weekend, he was being vulnerable with me and kissing my hand and saying he is ready between us. We had really great sex the weekend before that. Like, for hours. It was the first time we had been in each other's company for months though.

Some of you may remember me mentioning him before and I have also posted his chart before. However, his birth time was an hour earlier before and I have since seen his birth certificate and so the time now is definitely correct. He just told me an hour earlier before.

I actually prefer his chart now because it moves his NN and other planets out of his 7th house and into his 6th house. The only planets in his 7th now are the Moon and Saturn, which shows how serious a relationship is to him.

It is the current transits in his chart I am particularly curious about. As you can see from below, Pluto is 2 degrees away from his DC. Venus will conjunct Pluto shortly and will turn retrograde just as it is about to reach his 7th house.

To me this is a symbolic that he may back track away from me and I am worried. What is going on with my person, am I right to be wary/cautious?

Also, Venus and Mars will conjunct on his natal Neptune and NN. Around the same time, transit Saturn will oppose his Venus. And also, when Pluto his right on someone's DC like this, I feel he has a long way to go still before he is ready. I think I am 'awakening' him to opening up but it will not be with me but when Pluto actually is in his 7th house.

I am glad to hear that you two are still trying to work things out together.

This Pluto transit will be a hum dinger for sure, as it will be plowing through his Moon/Saturn conjunction as Pluto straddles Capricorn/Aquarius cusp.

All kinds of internalised trauma concerning Mom and Dad will be coming up for him, which is ultimately a positive thing. And it probably already began being unearthed during his recent Saturn return.

And as you mentioned, that Saturn will continue that painfully awkward transit by opposing his Venus in Leo in his 2nd of self worth.

I don't think it has to mean the end of your relationship together. I think his emotional need for making a strong emotional relationship with 'his person' will be intensified.

But it will be tested for sure.

His 7th house tight Moon/Saturn conjunction, with the Moon in detriment while Saturn is exalted-------that is difficult for him.

When you have a very tight conjunction with a 1 degree orb---but straddling the cusp of 2 signs--and with such a difficult combination of planets---Moon/Saturn, which are natural opponents---Lots of internal conflict hidden from childhood?

With that double trine from his Virgo Sun to that Moon/Saturn---I think he has always admired, respected and believed in his family and parents and looks up to them....but this Saturn/Pluto transit may be uncovering or revealing things that are hard for him to accept?

Maybe , and this is just a possible example, NOT saying this is what happened---but there could be issues from his parents past that he never knew---like one of them cheated or he has a hidden out of wedlock sibling, etc.....JUST HYPOTHETICAL-----but those are the kinds of things which can be dug up from the past when someone has Pluto moving through their Moon/Saturn territory.

Some deep emotional stuff about their parents/family/ancestry can be revealed and it can be painful or mysterious but needs to be processed and accepted, etc...


How does it affect your relationship, since it is his 7th?

Everything that he bases his beliefs about relationships and love and commitment stems from his parents with them as role models [Moon/Saturn] Although they are conjunct, they were very different [Cap/Aquarius]

His Dad, whom he exalted, may have painted a certain picture of his mother, which NOW that he has Pluto Moon coming up, it may be transformed.

Maybe everything he knew or was told about his Mother is not what it seemed?

How does that now affect his feelings about the woman in his life?

Thank you Katydid for replying. You see things from a healing perspective and you also know a bit about my background with my person which helps.

The correct birth time makes so much more sense. Everything you said about his Mum and Dad is true from what I already know. He is very close to both of them but they are separated. Although interestingly, there has been rumours his parents have recently been hooking up again lol but it’s not official.

He does indeed love and respect them both but he said to me just last week that he is a Daddies boy, and he exalts Saturn. I’ve met his *Dad but not his Mum and they are very different.

His Dad is a bit of a ‘lad’ and drinks and parties a lot and his Mum is very sensible and homely. My person has a lot of friends and so he would have a lot of options for girls and I asked him why does he like me if he has a lot of options and he said because all his normal friend’s party and and he doesn’t want that for a girl. He likes that I am more grown up and he likes that I study and don’t party a lot.

I think me and my person and playing our the different roles between his Mum and Dad because I remind him of his mum.

I understand what you are saying about potential family secrets coming out was just hypothetical examples. I think it is going to dawn on my person that his Dad partying a lot was a bad influence. I hope I can try show him that even though he exalts his Dad, he doesn’t need to follow in his footsteps. It would help heal this generational behaviour if he stopped the cycle and stopped partying so much.

Even though my person parties, he does not sleep around. Like you said the last time, he is a picky Virgo. Even though we didn’t speak for nearly 3 months after a falling out, he didn’t sleep with anyone else.

We fell out because it was his 30th birthday and there was photos of him in a bath with another girl. I woke up and saw the photos on Facebook. I said it was unacceptable and I slapped him. His gay friend was there and phoned the police and I ended up in the police cells for 5 hours before they released me. Needless to say, I was extremely angry and I didn’t want to speak to him for months.

One of his friends told me there was nothing sexual between him and that girl and they both had clothes on in the bath. But it didn’t look like that to me at the time. I told him, the time for acting like that is over when you have a girl. I hope he sticks to it and doesn’t revert back to his fun younger days. But his Dad hasn’t exactly grown up either.

His Dad came to visit me expecting us to be together and I said ‘no he is not here because he has hurt me and your behaviour as a role model hasn’t helped with that!’ His dad agreed with me lol. I do her on with his dad but what I said was harsh words there because I was hurting. His dad was he one that pushed us together and I know he likes me so me saying something harsh will not cause drama, I will apologise next time I see him.

I understand I need to work on my communication being more compassionate and less angry. But I can also see clearly the mistakes his dad has made, but I like his dad so I am not against him either. It’s just I was brought up very differently, I never once even saw my parents drunk and it was very religious. But even still my dad abandoned us.

The week before we reconciled, his friend came to visit me and said my persons’s Mum and Dad argued a lot and my person is scared of being in that same situation. It helped me see my person in a different light and I realized me being angry was hurting him. The next weekend we reconciled and he has been more vulnerable with me.

He tried to downplay what his friend said but I can tell it is true. We both realised that we have opposite issues. He is scared of *commitment and I am scared of abandonment. Therefore my responsibility is to not get angry or scared and trigger his trauma of seeing his parents argue.

You can see we are playing out his Mum and Dad roles. Pluto is so amazing like that. But Pluto transits are slow, I will be very surprised if we can both navigate this. I have a feeling he will not be able to do it. And if I feel he is not there for me, I will have to not be co-dependent and I will need to realise I need more from him. At the same time, I must be careful not get angry if I feel I am being abandoned.

I wander what picture he has of his mother which may be transformed. I am surprised he is a daddy’s boy when his mum has been the more practical one. But as you said from the Sun trine, he loves and respects them both. He has a lot of lovely qualities like that. He is very respectful towards me in general.

I hope things work out. But I am a deep person and I will need love and a soul connection. I hope my person can bring this to the table because I am also telling myself not to be codependent on him. I see a lot of women in relationships who cling to a man like he has all the power and I am very conscious not to do that and repeat my own family trauma. I will say goodbye if he can’t grow up but I will try and bring this healing energy to us both first.

Thank you and sorry for the long post.

Ukpoohbear said:

Thank you Katydid for replying. You see things from a healing perspective and you also know a bit about my background with my person which helps.

The correct birth time makes so much more sense. Everything you said about his Mum and Dad is true from what I already know. He is very close to both of them but they are separated. Although interestingly, there has been rumours his parents have recently been hooking up again lol but it’s not official.

He does indeed love and respect them both but he said to me just last week that he is a Daddies boy, and he exalts Saturn. I’ve met his Mum but not his Dad and they are very different.

His Dad is a bit of a ‘lad’ and drinks and parties a lot and his Mum is very sensible and homely. My person has a lot of friends and so he would have a lot of options for girls and I asked him why does he like me if he has a lot of options and he said because all his normal friend’s party and and he doesn’t want that for a girl. He likes that I am more grown up and he likes that I study and don’t party a lot.

I think me and my person and playing our the different roles between his Mum and Das because I remind him of his mum.

I understand what you are saying about potential family secrets coming out was just hypothetical examples. I think it is going to dawn on my person that his Dad partying a lot was a bad influence. I hope I can try show him that even though he exalts his Dad, he doesn’t need to follow in his footsteps. It would help heal this generational behaviour if he stopped the cycle and stopped partying so much.

Even though my person parties, he does not sleep around. Like you said the last time, he is a picky Virgo. Even though we didn’t speak for nearly 3 months after a falling out, he didn’t sleep with anyone else.

We fell out because it was his 30th birthday and there was photos of him in a bath with another girl. I woke up and saw the photos on Facebook. I said it was unacceptable and I slapped him. His gay friend was there and phoned the police and I ended up in the police cells for 5 hours before they released me. Needless to say, I was extremely angry and I didn’t want to speak to him for months.

One of his friends told me there was nothing sexual between him and that girl and they both had clothes on in the bath. But it didn’t look like that to me at the time. I told him, the time for acting like that is over when you have a girl. I hope he sticks to it and doesn’t revert back to his fun younger days. But his Dad hasn’t exactly grown up either.

His Dad came to visit me expecting us to be together and I said ‘no he is not here because he has hurt me and your behaviour as a role model hasn’t helped with that!’ His dad agreed with me lol. I do her on with his dad but what I said was harsh words there because I was hurting. His dad was he one that pushed us together and I know he likes me so me saying something harsh will not cause drama, I will apologise next time I see him.

I understand I need to work on my communication being more compassionate and less angry. But I can also see clearly the mistakes his dad has made, but I like his dad so I am not against him either. It’s just I was brought up very differently, I never once even saw my parents drunk and it was very religious. But even still my dad abandoned us.

The week before we reconciled, his friend came to visit me and said my persons’s Mum and Dad argued a lot and my person is scared of being in that same situation. It helped me see my person in a different light and I realized me being angry was hurting him. The next weekend we reconciled and he has been more vulnerable with me.

He tried to downplay what his friend said but I can tell it is true. We both realised that we have opposite issues. He is scared of finitely and I am scared of abandonment. Therefore my responsibility is to not get ages and trigger his trauma of seeing his parents argue.

You can see we are playing out his Mum and Dad roles. Pluto is so amazing like that. But Pluto transits are slow, I will be very surprised if we can both navigate this. I have a feeling he will not be able to do it. And if I feel he is not there for me, I will have to not be co-dependent and I will need to realise I need more from him. At the same time, I must be careful not get angry if I feel I am being abandoned.

I wander what picture he has of his mother which may be transformed. I am surprised he is a daddy’s boy when his mum has been the more practical one. But as you said from the Sun trine, he loves and respects them both. He has a lot of lovely qualities like that. He is very respectful towards me in general.

I hope things work out. But I am a deep person and I will need love and a soul connection. I hope my person can bring this to the table because I am also telling myself not to be codependent on him. I see a lot of women in relationships who cling to a man like he has all the power and I am very conscious not to do that and repeat my own family trauma. I will say goodbye if he can’t grow up but I will try and bring this healing energy to us both first.

Thank you and sorry for the long post.

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No, I appreciate the long post. Finding one's person is a complex process with lots of variables.

You hit the nail on the head right here:

"We both realised that we have opposite issues. He is scared of finitely and I am scared of abandonment. Therefore my responsibility is to not get ages and trigger his trauma of seeing his parents argue."

"You can see we are playing out his Mum and Dad roles. "

Click to expand...

So as you noted, Pluto's slow and deep dive over his Moon/Saturn in his 7th will pull you into the depths. It will be deeply moving and transformative and there will be some turmoil... But also a lot of letting go of old dead wood in the forest.

I wander what picture he has of his mother which may be transformed.

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I have some ideas about that....I had said in the previous post:

Everything that he bases his beliefs about relationships and love and commitment stems from his parents with them as role models [Moon/Saturn] Although they are conjunct, they were very different [Cap/Aquarius]

His Dad, whom he exalted, may have painted a certain picture of his mother, which NOW that he has Pluto Moon coming up, it may be transformed.

Maybe everything he knew or was told about his Mother is not what it seemed?

How does that now affect his feelings about the woman in his life?

Click to expand...

So we have, coexisting in your person's psyche, the Saturn in Aquarius man-child, who resists being tamed because he fears it will weaken him, trap him into nothingnesss....

And the Moon in Capricorn mother/goddess, who resists being dominated because she fears she will be trapped by someone unworthy and foolish...

As Pluto ,the God of the Underworld , plows through that conjunction of the man-child and the resistant goddess, it transforms them and elevates them.

Can you both rise to that level by releasing the past that chains you?

He might have to realise that his father was complaining about his marriage, and may have painted his ex wife in an unflattering light at times---calling her controlling or boring or too uptight.

But he left out the parts that would explain why she was angry, shut down and disappointed by his irresponsible actions and emotionally exhausted.

If he can begin to understand that situation in a more objective manner, it might help him see the possibility of family life being a healthy, nurturing existence.

But to do so, he has to take his father off the highest throne and accept that his Dad has made some mistakes in the past.

I will say goodbye if he can’t grow up but I will try and bring this healing energy to us both first.

Click to expand...

When I read your strong ending sentence, I had a sudden flash about your deep connection to Brittany. And it seems like she is now finally overcoming many of the bitter obstacles and taking control of her life in a miraculous way.

Maybe that is where your journey is headed as well. You have worked so hard with such intention. I think it is a good sign...

I meant to go and edit some typos. The iPhone is bad for that but I think you managed to understand me anyway —

He is scared of commitment but instead the iPhone put infinitely for some reason lol. Ans also to not let me get angry not *ages. I meant to say I have met his Dad and not his Mum, but for some reason I wrote it that I’ve mer his Mum. I haven’t I have only heard about her. His dad has came to his to have a drink before. But apparently his mum would like me a lot, says his Uncle.

I love the analogy you used of the resistant Capricorn goddess who refuses to be tamed by someone unworthy, that is so me and the Aquarius energy for his Dad being a man child. My person has even said to me before he doesn’t want to be under the thumb from a woman.

That is so perceptive.

He hasn’t opened up to me enough for me to know what his Dad used to say about his Mum. When we are opening up to each other again, I will try and pry. And I will mention and get him to see that his Dad has made mistakes too. I am good at being direct without being insulting.

My person has Cancer rising and he has a lovely sensitive side that he (tries) to hide, so I think his compassion will help him want to understand women a bit more edit: I also wanted to add it was my person who first noted he is scared of commitment and me of abandonment and I gasped when he said it. His Mercury trine Neptune is quite perceptive. It also gives him a lovely way of talking.

As for my own journey, there has been a lot of intent, it’s nice you see that. Britney is like my soul family. My own journey seems like 1 step forward 2 step back and I think I am doing really well to suddenly thinking I haven’t changed at all, but I am also open to learning more. I don’t believe in God but God brought this person to me, and I am where I am meant to be. I really don’t think we have any control over our fate but we can make good decisions. Britney Spears made it, Marilyn Monroe was a survivor but did not quite make it. I believe it is already written if I will make it or not but personally I think I will. But tbh, whether you ‘make’ it or not, both Marilyn and Britney deserve medals for trying. I don’t think me and my person will make it but there is still energy here to learn from each other, it’s not over yet. My Venus is out of shape and I think I have some karma to pay back, and I think this is a karmic relationship for both of us I just would be surprised if it lasts the distance