I don't want to stop having sexual relations with this guy?

Abby83

Abby83

Well-known member
ChildOfVenus said:
I'd rather not go into full details here but I'll pm you. I've posted my natal chart on here a few times. The reason why I asked if men would turn down sex. Is because I know how men are in regards to sex. I do understand what you mean though the part about causal sex. But if you are actually friends with the person and care about them. Then it isn't only about sex because you actually care for them.
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Thinking that men just want sex is a huge misconception. Sure, masculine ppl (can be male or female) may have a high sex drive and get easily aroused by sexual images as an example, but the feminine quality is there to slow the man down, to tame him and realise there is more value in the emotional attachment and intellectual side of life. A wise person once said to me that you win a man with his emotions, not his D***. Sure u can care about each other but it doesn't mean it will last because humans have other needs.
 
Abby83

Abby83

Well-known member
Ok I looked at your chart. Here is my interpretation and others can either agree or disagree.

Firstly I think the sun trine Uranus is positive for having a rebellious, detached, casual kinda partner. The partner may regularly re-evaluate the relationship. Venus, although exalted is in my opinion a bit of a problem. Venus square Uranus so you are also a little irritated by the uranian types and they shake you up, but in 8th I think your love may be a little obsessive and clingy. Uranian and aquarian types don't like that and this chart shows it. Im trying to remember but I think there were good aspects with mars, sun, moon and Uranus? In air and fire signs. Mars in Gemini is changeable with sex. But I think you have the potential to be with these guys if you allow yourself to be detached and give them the freedom they require and not to allow the venus clingy emotional stuff get in the way.
 
C

ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Well of course I wouldn't mind having a partner and being in a relationship. As long as I can have some freedom. Just not with this particular guy yes I do have Moon trine Mars, Moon sextile Mercury and Moon sextile Jupiter but my Moon is in Aquarius. That also causes me to be detached sometimes. Uranus also trines my Ascendant too.
Abby83 said:
Ok I looked at your chart. Here is my interpretation and others can either agree or disagree.

Firstly I think the sun trine Uranus is positive for having a rebellious, detached, casual kinda partner. The partner may regularly re-evaluate the relationship. Venus, although exalted is in my opinion a bit of a problem. Venus square Uranus so you are also a little irritated by the uranian types and they shake you up, but in 8th I think your love may be a little obsessive and clingy. Uranian and aquarian types don't like that and this chart shows it. Im trying to remember but I think there were good aspects with mars, sun, moon and Uranus? In air and fire signs. Mars in Gemini is changeable with sex. But I think you have the potential to be with these guys if you allow yourself to be detached and give them the freedom they require and not to allow the venus clingy emotional stuff get in the way.
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craft94

craft94

Well-known member
ChildOfVenus said:
I'd rather not go into full details here but I'll pm you. I've posted my natal chart on here a few times. The reason why I asked if men would turn down sex. Is because I know how men are in regards to sex. I do understand what you mean though the part about causal sex. But if you are actually friends with the person and care about them. Then it isn't only about sex because you actually care for them.
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A guy did this with me. That hurts worse than not wanting to be in a relationship.

Does anyone remember my 10 page Horary chart? After sex he said he wanted to be "friends" and then distanced himself...we hung out one more time after that and he said he was worried I'd get attached which is the vibe I got to begin with...and later on, much later, I impulsively texted him asked what friends meant and for a long time he didn't reply and when he finally did, he said "no physical contact" and that really really made me feel like **** about myself because what guy doesn't want casual sex? Especially him??? Before that he was APOLOGIZING for wanting to have sex with me…it made me feel like, 'OK since now he's discovered how repulsive my body is he's changed his mind' but I think the reason is that he doesn't think I'm capable of handling a friends with benefits sort of relationship which may be true..

Why am I being more open? I don't like this. Jupiter trine Asc transit?
 
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Abby83

Abby83

Well-known member
craft94 said:
A guy did this with me. That hurts worse than not wanting to be in a relationship.

Does anyone remember my 10 page Horary chart? After sex he said he wanted to be "friends" and then distanced himself...we hung out one more time after that and he said he was worried I'd get attached which is the vibe I got to begin with...and later on, much later, I impulsively texted him asked what friends meant and for a long time he didn't reply and when he finally did, he said "no physical contact" and that really really made me feel like **** about myself because what guy doesn't want casual sex? Especially him??? Before that he was APOLOGIZING for wanting to have sex with me…it made me feel like, 'OK since now he's discovered how repulsive my body is he's changed his mind' but I think the reason is that he doesn't think I'm capable of handling a friends with benefits sort of relationship which may be true..

Why am I being more open? I don't like this. Jupiter trine Asc transit?
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This is exactly it. Women tend to say they 'care' about the man in the FWB but I wonder what the guy says. I've rarely heard a guy say he cares a lot about the girl he f***S. It does happen though but more so with women who work in the industry. I knew a woman who was paid to be intimate with a man who said he cared about her more than his own wife, simply because he had such a free pleasurable life with her. But in the real world, if it's just sex it's just sex. You're letting your emotions get in the way.

Speaking from the other end, I was one of those 'guys' who initiated FWB. I was always clear from get go that it was just sex and nothing more and that we wouldn't date but just keep it in the room and id tell him that I do it with other guys too. I was always in control. but two of those guys ended up arriving at my work and my house and wanted to have coffee and that's when I ended it. of course u will develop feelings for the person who initiated but the initiator rarely does. they started in control and they finish in control.
 
craft94

craft94

Well-known member
Abby83 said:
This is exactly it. Women tend to say they 'care' about the man in the FWB but I wonder what the guy says. I've rarely heard a guy say he cares a lot about the girl he f***S. It does happen though but more so with women who work in the industry. I knew a woman who was paid to be intimate with a man who said he cared about her more than his own wife, simply because he had such a free pleasurable life with her. But in the real world, if it's just sex it's just sex. You're letting your emotions get in the way.

Speaking from the other end, I was one of those 'guys' who initiated FWB. I was always clear from get go that it was just sex and nothing more and that we wouldn't date but just keep it in the room and id tell him that I do it with other guys too. I was always in control. but two of those guys ended up arriving at my work and my house and wanted to have coffee and that's when I ended it. of course u will develop feelings for the person who initiated but the initiator rarely does. they started in control and they finish in control.
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I mean, emotions are involved in everything I do to some extent. Friendship for me IS an emotional experience. It should really be called acquaintances with benefits.
 
C

ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Well I say I care about him because he's really tried to help me in regards to bettering myself. So I guess that's where the caring part comes in. Isn't it natural to care for a person if they try to help you? I was the one who imitated things with him though and we've been hooking up since last year.
Abby83 said:
This is exactly it. Women tend to say they 'care' about the man in the FWB but I wonder what the guy says. I've rarely heard a guy say he cares a lot about the girl he f***S. It does happen though but more so with women who work in the industry. I knew a woman who was paid to be intimate with a man who said he cared about her more than his own wife, simply because he had such a free pleasurable life with her. But in the real world, if it's just sex it's just sex. You're letting your emotions get in the way.

Speaking from the other end, I was one of those 'guys' who initiated FWB. I was always clear from get go that it was just sex and nothing more and that we wouldn't date but just keep it in the room and id tell him that I do it with other guys too. I was always in control. but two of those guys ended up arriving at my work and my house and wanted to have coffee and that's when I ended it. of course u will develop feelings for the person who initiated but the initiator rarely does. they started in control and they finish in control.
Click to expand...
 
aquarius7000

aquarius7000

Well-known member
Hi,

ChildofVenus, is your chart posted somewhere, or can you post it? Should be interesting to study if this is your natal make-up or just a passing phase with Mars aspected or aspecting.

In all honesty, it does make me freak out a little that one should want just the physical part without emotional involvement/commitment. However, apologies, not trying to be judgemental but expressing my own opinion.
 
C

ChildOfVenus

Well-known member
Yes I've posted my chart on here before but this is my chart with the current transits.

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aquarius7000 said:
Hi,

ChildofVenus, is your chart posted somewhere, or can you post it? Should be interesting to study if this is your natal make-up or just a passing phase with Mars aspected or aspecting.

In all honesty, it does make me freak out a little that one should want just the physical part without emotional involvement/commitment. However, apologies, not trying to be judgemental but expressing my own opinion.
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J

Jadi

Well-known member
Uranus conjunct the fifth house cusp squaring Venus. With the fifth house being involved with romance and the lighter side of mating, kind of telling. I would watch out for pregnancy, though.
 
Blaze

Blaze

Account Closed
craft94 said:
A guy did this with me. That hurts worse than not wanting to be in a relationship.

Does anyone remember my 10 page Horary chart? After sex he said he wanted to be "friends" and then distanced himself...we hung out one more time after that and he said he was worried I'd get attached which is the vibe I got to begin with...and later on, much later, I impulsively texted him asked what friends meant and for a long time he didn't reply and when he finally did, he said "no physical contact" and that really really made me feel like **** about myself because what guy doesn't want casual sex? Especially him??? Before that he was APOLOGIZING for wanting to have sex with me…it made me feel like, 'OK since now he's discovered how repulsive my body is he's changed his mind' but I think the reason is that he doesn't think I'm capable of handling a friends with benefits sort of relationship which may be true..

Why am I being more open? I don't like this. Jupiter trine Asc transit?
Click to expand...

Sounds like he played you. Which is a pretty shitty thing to do, but some people do shitty things to others. Did he at least talk to you face to face?

On the topic of friends with benefits and men: No, not all men just want some meat curtains. I had a short friends with benefits thing with an Aries gal. Was fun for a week until it started feeling hallow. I mean, what's the point of being with someone for only sex? My hand can do me any favors I want without having buy it some dinner. :lol:

Anyway, Child of Venus, some of us -myself included- don't like useless flings and would rather some roots be made. Others might not, which is fine, you've just gotta fine people who are similar to you. If this dude doesn't want to stay **** buddies with you, dump him (and meet other people) or try on your relationship pants.
 
craft94

craft94

Well-known member
Blaze said:
Sounds like he played you. Which is a pretty shitty thing to do, but some people do shitty things to others. Did he at least talk to you face to face?

On the topic of friends with benefits and men: No, not all men just want some meat curtains. I had a short friends with benefits thing with an Aries gal. Was fun for a week until it started feeling hallow. I mean, what's the point of being with someone for only sex? My hand can do me any favors I want without having buy it some dinner. :lol:

Anyway, Child of Venus, some of us -myself included- don't like useless flings and would rather some roots be made. Others might not, which is fine, you've just gotta fine people who are similar to you. If this dude doesn't want to stay **** buddies with you, dump him (and meet other people) or try on your relationship pants.
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That's exactly how I see things!! (bolded)...my own lack of feeling kinda surprised me but the fact that he had sex with other people didn't bother me in the slightest... I get the no commitments thing, but no emotional at all? That's impossible for me, if I'm being honest. I can't see people as just bodies. If I didn't want any emotion at all, I'd just use a vibrator. It's like, get yourself a sex robot or something because if you treat women this way, they're going to have an emotional response no matter what so

Oh, and to answer your question, he did talk to me that one time we hung out afterwards, that's when he told me he didn't want emotional attachments (which I knew anyway) but that was it.

And as for the whole relationship thing, I felt like this guy was compatible with me personality-wise, like if we had met as just friends everything would have been fine (in fact his chart is very similar to my best friend's) but our approach to relationships is obviously very different and that's the problem. I feel like in order to be in a relationship, I'd have to force myself to be with someone who I'm not only not attracted too but also incompatible with personality-wise.

Edit: I just realized the part about relationsuips wasn't directed at me. Oops.
 
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Bigstar

Bigstar

Banned
Omg, your making it such a big deal and complex, lol. Just go to him and tell him that you just want to be friends that have sex with eachother. Simple, easy, and no hesitation behind it.
 
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