2 year on/off relationship. Is its really OFF now?

Here is my question and analysis.

Bit of background. Been in an on/off relationship for 2 years with a pretty unstable musical guy. He has suffered from depression for many years but since our catalystic meeting he has gone for treatment and now holding down a very good job for the first time in years.
So now we have finished this time "for good". He say's it because he can't see a future for us and plus he wants kids and I'm prob too old now at 42.

So he is Mercury, peregrine and conjunct the MC which gives him power and turns him into a theif according to Lily. Mercury is also conjunct Vindemiatrix which shows dishonesty. I wonder if the children line is just an excuse. Maybe there is another reason for cooling it.

I am Jupiter, strong in the first house and in mutual reception with Venus in the 12th. I have always felt like his mistress. Kept secret, so as not to upset our ex's. But also a dream fantasy for him rather than something real and concrete.

There is an applying square between us. Which shows the obstacles and our volatile relationship. But we are in each others term and come from good houses, both angular.

I'm not sure if this really counts. There is a collection of light from Saturn which would give us some hope of making this stick
Saturn applies a trine to my Jupiter and also applies a wide semi-sextile to his Mercury. ( I'm not sure 7 degrees qualifies tho)
Mercury and Saturn are in exaltation and Jupiter rules and is in the terms of Saturn.
This could be his older wiser sister? (He really listens to her, and she likes me) Saturn being in his (derived) 3rd House(Siblings) and my 9th house (in laws!)

Good things: Moon in the 7th, Part of Marriage is 23degrees Gemini in the 7th. Part Of Marriage partile trine with Spica. Or does that simply mean I have very high hopes and really want to marry this guy! (Didn't think I did...)

Spica and the Sun are in the powerfull 10th house. But the sun and a flaming mars in Scorpio are also in the Via Combusta. Our volatile tempers, passion and jealousies fouling up our relationship everytime we get too close sexually. Mars is also under the sunbeams. (His desire gets burnt, or burns itself out very quickly?) He thinks we are better off as friends. And we do have a musical partnership, but I find it very hard not to get physical with him. So I broke it off.

The last moon aspect before I asked the question was moon trine mars. Which I guess shows the split. Then he got in contact because he missed me and was jealous but again couldn't commit, next aspect Moon opposition Jupiter, Then Moon sextile Saturn. We got our wires crossed and I pushed him away again. Last moon aspect was moon trine Uranus. Not sure if that is the end of the story or what.
But Uranus is also conjunct Mercury's Ansticia. So would a trine to that mean a sudden unexpected reconciliation?

All I can fathom out from all this is that once more, it really isn't over. The relationship is either wonderful or heartbreaking. There seem to be an equal amount of good and bad aspects. But the connection seems very hard to break. Jupiter is 15 degrees and the same degree as the nodes. I read somewhere that means the situation is in the hands of fate.
Maybe the "Good things" (Moon in 7th, Part of Marriage in 7th.) mentioned above can only come to me if I am brave and break this cycle.

Ok --- Revised *again*

Merc squares jupiter -- yes.

Merc and jupiter rule the communcation houses, and the querent and quesited -- no, obstacle in communication.

Moon opposes you.
I'm not sure if it is off for good -- his fifth house is strong, and aspecting you, a reference to sex or children somehow. End of relationship matter sits in the twelfth, if the relationship does continue it would only be to your detriment. I'm going to say no it's not off for good, because theres too many aspects that say otherwise, the chart to me is not giving me the clearest of 'no's'.

- R.A

Hi Ra-divington. Thanks for the imput.
I confused myself in askinq a question where a "no" response," No it's not over." would be a positive for me.

You say the end of the matter 4th house ruler is in the 12th, that's HIS 4th house not mine. So surely that means it would be detrimental to him rather than me. That Venus rules HIS 11th house of hopes and wishes. So detrimental to his wish for children prehaps?
My end of the matter 4th house is ruled by Mars, I actually think I have a higher libido than him, something which he is not used to! Anything point to him fearing sex prehaps?

Interestingly Part of Children is exactly conjunct the south node in Leo in H8. Not sure how that plays out tho.
Yes, maybe this is more sexual than anything else. The best connection seems to be his mars to my Jupiter. By applying sextile. Mars is comfortable in the 1st and exalted by Jupiter in Capricorn. But Jupiter is not received by mars. Does that means my feelings are stronger for him or the other way round?

The moon applies to a sextile with Saturn. Would that give the relationship more glue?

You say the end of the matter 4th house ruler is in the 12th, that's HIS 4th house not mine.

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The relationship end of matter, fourth from the seventh, which is venus. And venus is in your twelfth.

Yes, maybe this is more sexual than anything else. The best connection seems to be his mars to my Jupiter. By applying sextile. Mars is comfortable in the 1st and exalted by Jupiter in Capricorn. But Jupiter is not received by mars. Does that means my feelings are stronger for him or the other way round?

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Yes. It means your feelings are stronger for him, but there is definitely still a sexual connection to you. But for you, your sexual expression is in the 12th, doing this with him would be private still--in the sense its just between you two, no committed relationship, and it would hurt you in the end.

The moon applies to a sextile with Saturn. Would that give the relationship more glue?

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I don't think so. Saturn rules your second and his eighth, since there is no financial question involved, I will use this as his eighth. I would only say the sextile to saturn is his anxietys and fears aspecting you, suitingly so as saturn represents restrictions, and in this case it is a restriction.

Mercury is conjunct Vindemiatrix, I have read that this means Widowhood and depression. Depression he suffers from and one of his other reasons for feeling guilty about all this is he is still getting over the Ex he left me for. She was more like a nursemaid to him as far as I can see. But they were very close for 8 years tho it wasn't sexual for the last 5.

Maybe that Saturn could be his ex? That has ALWAYS been the restriction. We actually were a couple properly over the summer, but then she made contact and it fell apart again.

Ok, I understand the end of the matter 12th house now. I must add I am now starting divorce proceedings with the husband I left him for and so keeping things secret is what I want for now definately. But I don't want that always to be the case.
That 12th house Venus is in mutual reception with 1st house Jupiter by rulership and exhaltation. Would that pull Venus out of it's bad house?

And Part of Marriage is also partile conjunct Cor Leonis which is supposed to be the luckiest fixed star.
Angles are mutable so I'm hoping the situation will change, but in time. This is the first time I have made a clean break from him. I stayed before because he made me feel so sorry for him saying he couldn't bear to loose our friendship. He was always a perfect gentlemen when sober. But then we would drink..

I guess for now it's safe to say if we do get back together it will only go back to the "Affair" it was before. What I am hoping is that once he is over his ex, and I am through with my divorce we might have a chance. I'm not in a hurry to commit to anyone myself.

Mercurius said:

Maybe that Saturn could be his ex? That has ALWAYS been the restriction. We actually were a couple properly over the summer, but then she made contact and it fell apart again.

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It could very well be. Archergirl can refine that answer.

That 12th house Venus is in mutual reception with 1st house Jupiter by rulership and exhaltation. Would that pull Venus out of it's bad house?

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Well, Jupiter doesn't have that much power, it is afflicted in capricorn, therefore not as benefic as normally would be in first house, but yes that is fortunate; to me that's you doing something beneficial for yourself in the relationship, and yes easing Venus's placement.

I guess for now it's safe to say if we do get back together it will only go back to the "Affair" it was before.

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Correct.

What I am hoping is that once he is over his ex, and I am through with my divorce we might have a chance. I'm not in a hurry to commit to anyone myself.

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The end of relationship matter is in your dignity, perhaps such means that you will have that oppurtunity if you pursue him later on.

Thanks so much for that. It was getting me down the way it was left. But this has confirmed it for me that I'm making the right decision cutting the tie for now.
I need to learn to channel those desires into something that can strenghten me, not suck the life out of me. This Horary stuff is so frighteningly accurate. I will give you an update if I find the ex does indeed figure in all this.

Mercurius said:

Thanks so much for that. It was getting me down the way it was left. But this has confirmed it for me that I'm making the right decision cutting the tie for now.

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From what I know, I definitely think so.

I need to learn to channel those desires into something that can strenghten me, not suck the life out of me. This Horary stuff is so frighteningly accurate. I will give you an update if I find the ex does indeed figure in all this.

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Alright.. cheers..

Ok the story continues...
Yesterday I dropped and broke my external hard disc drive, it had all the comedy songs me and this guy did together. I was in such shock that I emailed him.

He responded by saying to come over to his at the weekend and he will try fixing it coz he wants those songs back too. But "NO SEX!" he made that clear. I said "It's a deal".

Loosing those songs made me realize, that was the part I loved about our connection most. I was so upset because that was a past that seemed lost forever. But if I could only stop trying to seduce him, we could have it as a future.
I did the above chart BEFORE I dropped the drive. And was quite pleased with what I saw as I thought cutting the tie totally was the only way. But maybe it isn't?

I am Sun in my face in the 4th, he is Saturn in his term in 2nd.They apply by Sextile.
Interestingly Jupiter (rules the 5th, Lover?) gets to the Sun first, but then there is a collection of light from Moon trining Saturn and then sextiling Sun.
The Moon is partile conjunct Jupiter which is in not so great 6th house but could mean working on something together (Musical comedy?) Also Jupiter in mutual reception with Venus in its joy in the 5th.

It makes me laugh that the Sun is in via combusta! Need to rein in my fiery Italian passion there...

The end of the matter is that sexy Mars in Scorpio again (In the 4th) semi-sextile Part of Fortune. Which will then form a conjunction with the Sun. (Seems I can't escape it..) The Moon will make a sextile to that Mars also. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad. Will the sex be too hard to resist again and we will end up Lovers? Or maybe it will be interesting to see what happens if we channel the unresolved sexual tension into our music/comedy.

Interesting that the north node is practically right on the 7th house cusp tho it is retrograde. Hmmmm...?