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Unread 05-28-2019, 06:53 AM
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DaniJade89 DaniJade89 is offline
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Unhappy Is he serious about not wanting kids?

I've been seeing my sweetheart for two years now, and one thing that popped up recently in conversation was his decision in not having children down the road. I'm in no rush to have kids, but I one day believe I will have them. And he is the first man I've ever thought to set up shop with.

We both share our Capricorn Ascendant within 4 degrees, giving us very similar house placements. In my natal, I have Saturn in the first house, so I've been very fearful about the idea of marriage and having children for the reason that my parents divorced and it was messy. But after my Saturn Return recently, that's all changed. He also shares this same Saturn in 1st and is only just hitting his Saturn Return. We've had a strikingly similar upbringing, so I believe he has and still does fear commitment.

In our synastry, he brings his Venus into my 4th, his Mercury into my 5th. I bring my Mars and Jupiter into his 4th. All signs pointing to starting a family. And in our composite, our Sun and Mars are conjunct the IC -- putting energy into building a life together. Which is why I'm so confused about this situation.

I'm genuinely hoping he changes his mind and am determined to give it more time to see what happens after his Saturn Return. I also know he can be a very decided/stubborn person; however, if I were to leave him over this, he would be utterly heartbroken. And I literally can't imagine anyone but him being my life partner and father of my children.

Do you guys see any aspects that might cause blockages in starting a family one day? Perhaps you all can see something I can't see.
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Last edited by DaniJade89; 05-28-2019 at 06:58 AM.
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  #2  
Unread 05-28-2019, 01:21 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is online now
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Re: Is he serious about not wanting kids?

Head over heels in love with this type of difficult dilemma is understandably worrisome for you.
The 4th rules the home and domestic issues, the 5th children, and mercury is co-significator of children.
His 5th is ruled by mercury, conjunct your mars/jupiter and squaring your mercury, indicating you two do indeed have different ways of thinking about children.
Your 5th contains the mars/jupiter conjunction, square your own mercury, so children will be both a blessing and exhausting for you.
Your 5th of children is ruled by Venus, sextile the Saturn/neptune conjunction on your ascendent. This aspect is important in that his 5th ruler mercury is also in easy aspect (his is a trine) with Saturn, so you both have concrete, stabile ideas about children. Also, you would both tend to wait until later in life to have children.
Your Venus conjunct your sun ties your personal identity with the idea of children. And this combination is square his sun, which just happens to be in his 5th, reinforcing the picture of underlying conflict.
In the composite the 5th is at 29 degrees taurus, a critical degree. So the 5th ruler is Venus, as well as mercury (ruler of gemini that holds almost all of the 5th house).
And where are Venus and mercury? They are conjunct in aires (egoism ) in the 3rd of thoughts and ideas, and they are square your Uranus/Saturn/neptune conjunction and his Saturn/neptune on your ascendents. So, in the relationship we find a precise theme... the idea of children is in conflict with the identity of the couple, with restrictions, freedom contrasts, deception and disappointment.
Having children is almost always the natural outcome of two souls coming together. When there are obstructions, there are lessons to be learned, problems to be resolved, karma to be worked out. Being responsible for another human being is a tie that cannot be easily broken, and usually weighs more on the woman in an eventual separation, she bears the child and bears the responsibility for the being she brings into the world.
As we saw, there are concrete indications that you two do not agree, and perhaps will never agree on this issue.
Which does not mean the relationship should be ended, although if that is its karmic destiny, it will happen on its own.
It does mean, however, that you should take this very seriously before you take a definitive step towards a lifetime with a partner who does not share your values in this area. Don't go into it thinking you will change him, just as he should not think he will change you. You each have a destiny to fulfil, they may not be the same destiny.
The moon/mars conjunction in your 3rd is a very sexy aspect, he will desire you and will want to impregnate you, which is how this energy manifests itself. It occurs in his 2nd of self worth, so he sees his ego tied up with the impulse, in spite of his feelings about not having children. But that same mars energy of his will eventually hurt your feelings, and in your 3rd there will be arguments. And you risk finding yourself pregnant and facing a life of sacrifice and bitterness.
Just be careful and think carefully about this, you are about to enter the rest of your life, please do it calmly and wisely.
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Unread 05-29-2019, 12:43 AM
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Re: Is he serious about not wanting kids?

Wow, thank you so much for such a detailed reply, Elena. It's much appreciated. And thank you for not sugar coating anything. It all completely makes sense now. I'm still giving it a bit of time, but if his thoughts on the matter don't change, I'm prepared to make that important decision for myself.
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Unread 06-01-2019, 08:54 PM
rahu rahu is offline
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Re: Is he serious about not wanting kids?

hi dani

with Uranus on the ascendant and square to mercury/Venus, the longevity of the relationship is questionable. This pattern is not stable so with your misgivings with your family ,he doesn't seem to be the one you need.
Neptune conjunct to Uranus and square to Venus and mercury is also not favorable because this conjunction is notorious for grand ideas that don't come true.
I get the feeling that he really does not want children because he still wants to have his freedom option open so to speak.
that said.

Jupiter is sextile to the vertex/south node conjunction and trine to Lilith and opposed to the asteroid child and trine the moon/node.
this pattern does have some aspect of a marriage and with child included, children would be a given.

I can see why you feel he is special as the vertex/south node shows that there are many "omens" and synchronistic experience with him that make you feel he is the one.

but the "otherworldly" connection between you isn't grounded in this reality. And with unstable Uranus, I think he sincerely does not want to commit with children part of the mix. for that matter , with Neptune conjunct to Saturn, I don't think he feels this is the perfect fit that you do.

rahu
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Unread 06-30-2019, 01:15 PM
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brunetto brunetto is offline
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Re: Is he serious about not wanting kids?

Interesting thread and interpretation ElenaJ, currently going through a similar situation but I am the one who doesn't want kids! Ah relationships, why does it have to be so difficult?
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Unread 06-30-2019, 04:01 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is online now
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Re: Is he serious about not wanting kids?

Quote:
Originally Posted by brunetto View Post
Interesting thread and interpretation ElenaJ, currently going through a similar situation but I am the one who doesn't want kids! Ah relationships, why does it have to be so difficult?
Especially considering that we get into these things on our own free will!!
Life is one big challenge after another, isn't it?
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Unread 06-30-2019, 08:05 PM
ashriia ashriia is offline
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Re: Is he serious about not wanting kids?

Do you two live in the same state, or live together?

I am wondering if the neptune/venus and uranus/venus squares which are prominent in your relationship are playing out. uranus/venus is not a great aspect for longevity, but saturn square venus can keep things together to some extent. If he has stated he doesn't want children, take his word for it. And work from there about what your own needs are.

If you decide to have children with this man, give it a good deal of thought, since there are aspects that show instability in the relationship.

Also the progressed composite shows pluto opposite venus/mars. And these aspects where also involved when you got together(in the 2years). There is a strong pull and obsession to each other with that configuration, alot of sexual energy also. But in 5 years that configuration will end, so you both may feel differently about one another down the road.

I am not saying that to be negative, just as a heads up.
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Unread 07-01-2019, 11:42 PM
Gingerwizard Gingerwizard is offline
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Re: Is he serious about not wanting kids?

Wow this is some very interesting reading. I'm massively intrigued about the compatibility of my own relationship now!

(Not sure I want to find out though!!)
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