Feeling vulnerable and being disclosed after conversations with close friends

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rivern

Active member
Hi astrologers!
Like I said in title, I feel very vulnerable after conversations with others, even my close friends. When I share my opinions about a subject, I feel like I let my guard down. And I control over my conversations If I said anything wrong or could misunterstood. Can you tell me about this according to my chart?


 
satya7

satya7

Member
I am going to diagnose through traditional astrology approach.

Your Mercury is in the 10th whole sign house along with the sun, hence I think the conversations are prominent but Mercury is combust and hence it's energy might feel sapped out and it comes out scared and weak. The sun itself is weak by being in its fall. I think it is the case of Libra's good intentions and aim to appear pleasing and diplomatic that it results in undermining and harming one's ego.

Other factors are a wide opposition with Saturn that could introduce fear regarding one's conversation.

The ruler of a planet is often considered the cause and outcome of a planet. The ruler of the Mercury-Sun conjunction, Venus, is in the 12th house of imprisonment, mistakes and self-denial which I think adds to the problem. Venus is conjunct the 11th house ruler Mars. Both in the 12th house gives rise to conversation problems with friends.
 
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Cleopatra1

Active member
I see two houses of particular interest.

(1) The 12th house of "secrets" or hidden forces, shows three stories:

Pluto says that you tend to hide your power, or be a people pleaser. Often people don't realize your strength, and therefore don't handle your personal discussions or confessions with the seriousness that you deserve.

Venus shows an inclination for secret love, which may be a reason why you feel extra cautious when talking to your friends. You also have Mars Venus conjunction, which to me shows a lot of energy, often also sexual energy.

Mars in the 12th tells me that you may have been back-stabbed, or betrayed by people above suspicion. You didn't see that coming.

Of course, your personal will and character will determine how you handle the energy of these 3 planets in the 12th. In any case, to resolve the issue, I'd focus on the root cause, which is your private life. It is ok not to share your personal info with everyone. Just recognize the role of these 3 planets, and decide to communicate with people in a specific way. Consciously, not unconsciously any more.

(2) THE SECOND IMPORTANT OBSERVATION ENTAILS YOUR 3RD HOUSE OF COMMUNICATIONS, IN PISCES. How interesting to see transiting Neptune crossing over your 3rd house for many years now. No wonder you came to this life to handle/improve your communication, which seems a little blurry or dreamy, with such strong Neptune influence - natal and transit.

Hope this helps!
 
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rivern

Active member
First of all thank you for share your info and comments

I guess I'm trying to please people like you said. but this is making me tired. When I come home, at the end of the day, I feel so tired of talking and all this socializing. I don't want to communicate for a few days., When I started high school, I became completely silent and became an introverted person. I had a group of friends but was reluctant. it was mostly their effort. In college I thought I was the cause of all this and I thought I was distant. To change that, I tried to please those people again and made a lot of friends. But again, I was the one who was tired and unhappy. I could not benefit from the friendships I made and some of them hurt me. I was misunderstood. I understand that I am the cause of this again. I am expressing myself incorrectly or not expressing myself fully.
 
R

rivern

Active member
Cleopatra1 said:
I see two houses of particular interest.

(1) The 12th house of "secrets" or hidden forces, shows three stories:

Pluto says that you tend to hide your power, or be a people pleaser. Often people don't realize your strength, and therefore don't handle your personal discussions or confessions with the seriousness that you deserve.

Venus shows an inclination for secret love, which may be a reason why you feel extra cautious when talking to your friends. You also have Mars Venus conjunction, which to me shows a lot of energy, often also sexual energy.

Mars in the 12th tells me that you may have been back-stabbed, or betrayed by people above suspicion. You didn't see that coming.

Of course, your personal will and character will determine how you handle the energy of these 3 planets in the 12th. In any case, to resolve the issue, I'd focus on the root cause, which is your private life. It is ok not to share your personal info with everyone. Just recognize the role of these 3 planets, and decide to communicate with people in a specific way. Consciously, not unconsciously any more.

(2) THE SECOND IMPORTANT OBSERVATION ENTAILS YOUR 3RD HOUSE OF COMMUNICATIONS, IN PISCES. How interesting to see transiting Neptune crossing over your 3rd house for many years now. No wonder you came to this life to handle/improve your communication, which seems a little blurry or dreamy, with such strong Neptune influence - natal and transit.

Hope this helps!
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first of all thank you for your help

yes, I always tended to hide my strength. because I wanted to avoid drawing attention because I thought I might get hurt. and I looked so unpretentious that I thought people would ignore me in some ways, just like you said. especially in terms of my feelings. I was emotionally cold most of the time and never showed my weak emotional sides. You said Venus is prone to secret love. then you may be surprised by it. because I still haven't told my best friends about the person I fell in love with in high school. It wasn't an infatuation, it was a strong feeling. a relationship didn't start because of my communication problems. remained platonic. In fact, I unintentionally blocked it and I think that the fear of being hurt and fear - maybe the fear of being ridiculed - lie behind it. he took one step towards me but I got panic. And I remember feeling like I would devalue my love if I told them. I think I strongly experienced the influence of Venus on secret love here. maybe her secrecy made this feeling so strong because it made me feel excited and think I had something valuable to hide.
Finally, I can clearly see the effect of Neptune on me. Actually, communication is a very deep and long subject for me and it plays a very important role in my life. So this post is so long, please excuse me. Do you think Neptune will also benefit me? I am particularly interested in music. When I start earning income, my first job will be to deal with music.
thanks again :)
 
R

rivern

Active member
passiflora said:
It’s not just Pisces. It’s a push-pull between connection and closure, openness and constraint, which appears a few different ways in your chart, so it becomes a significant theme in your life. It’s not solely the disclosure and vulnerability, but the parts of you that set communication and ego boundaries analyzing in retrospect and worrying about it. Saturn your ascendant ruler is rx in your 3rd house with Moon and opposing sun-Mercury. Saturn squaring Ascendant and rising closely before the Moon suggests some strong inherited tendency to constrain speech and casual interactions.
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Thank you for reply!
Yes, I see what you say, I think this push-pull thing happens day by day instead of periodical. Its more like momentary. About inherited tendency, if you talk about psychological not physical, I can agree with that. If I open it I can say my fathers and his siblings have strong feeling about anyone can be enemy. Because they lost their father very young age with a planned murder. And they have obvus trust problems even amongst themselves.
 
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rivern

Active member
passiflora said:
That’s the kind of family experience that could cause a fairly intense personal psychological theme to show up in a life. Yes psychological means the moment to moment experience of yourself as well as longer-term dynamics. It doesn’t go away exactly because it is inherited and layered into your consciousness but you learn more skillful ways of living with your family history and dealing with the feelings and reality.
You've posted a whole signs chart, I’m kind of curious to see your placidus chart as well to see what the house rulers are doing there. In this chart you have Venus-Pluto conjunct in 12th but maybe it would be 11 in a different house system.
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Thank you!
Here it is
 
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