Saturn in the 12 retrograde, what a lesson! Help! =)

Hi,
I'm brand new to this and I am having trouble figuring things out myself. My Saturn is in the 12th house retrograde and I am having such a hardship in my life. I have been caring for my father for the past 4 years and it has along with seems like everything in my life has been beyond difficult. I am blaming Saturn because I feel I am being taught a life lesson to put me on my Karmic path as dictated by my North node..I feel like I am a prisoner in this role....I am also caring for my mother at the same time.

I am interested in if there is anything in my chart that points to why my father is having a very long slow extremely painful transition. It has been tumultuous for both of us....with every aspect of life, not just heath....but his level of suffering has made me question my belief in God. Its almost like torture. Im not interested in when he will transition, I am just trying to get information on this period in my life.

Thank You for help in advance

Actually, having Saturn the Greater Malefic, in an ineffectual, cadent house, is a good thing. It's much better than having it near an angle, where it can do a lot of damage.

My Saturn is fairly positively aspected it seems, that is if you think a Saturn retrograde, Pluto Retrograde, and Neptune Trine is good. =)