Read my chart

rahu

Banned
hi catowm

I added a few more symbols to your natal chart.
you have some very strong aspects showing you are very loving and emotional.
your sun/moon midpoint is conjunct to the eros/psyche midpoint which means you are ,at your very essence, a romantic and loving person.you have idealistic desires in a spouse and fall in love at the physical/emotional and spiritual level.
your mars is sesquiquadrate(135 degrees) to venus giving a steady intensity to your love, and the midpoints of mars/venus are conjunct to your moon, again showing that at your essence love is the most important aspect in your life.
your venus is square to your vertex which again shows that love is the most spontaneous motion you feel.the moon is sesquiquadrate to Saturn which shows you are devoted when in love andwill work through any problems. The moon/Saturn midpoint is conjunct to venus and square to the vertex showing you believe in absolute faithfulness and devotion.

mars is square to eris and the midpoint is opposed to venus.
mars/eris highlights very passionate sexual nature and opposed to venus it makes love all the more intense. but eris/mars square pattern also shows that many men attracted to you are only interested in the physical part of love and are not tender and devoted but rather jealous ,controlling of your emotions and often involved wit others.

with all these loving aspects one would not expect relationships to be a problem, bur you have aspects of unconscious emotional abuse.
your sun is conjunct to nessus and square to the mar/orcus midpoint. with orcus opposed to Saturn and square to sedna. these patterns are indicative of early childhood abuse which can be emotional, physical or sexual or combinations of these forms.
but as you post show you are unaware of why you have relationship problems, I assume you have not memories of such abuse as your mercury is conjunct to pluto, on your ascendant and square to chiron. this is a classic aspect of repressed memories of abuse.
so your problems with relationships have to do with a restrictive and harsh controlling father or male syblings as is shown by Saturn square to sedna and opposed to orcus at midheaven.
wonderingly why relationships haven't worked out or why you can't keep relationships going is looking in the wrong direction for the answer.
you have unconscious fears and doubts about yourself because of a abusive child hood environment, and these doubts lead you into problematic relationships at best.

your moon is conjunct to Jupiter and eros,which shows your loving and magnanimous nature and the close connection your your mom and grandmother . but these are opposed to the atrun/sedan midpoint which can shows they were blind you the emotional constricting affect of your father or they dismissed the importance of his affect on you. but the sedan square implies your mom knew something was not right.

your moon/sun midpoint is addition to being conjunct to your eros/psyche midpoint is square to your urnaus/Neptune midpoint. this pattern can show that you are very visionary . you have great ideas and aspirations but somehow,it sems you fall short,either circumstances change, or your dreams are too big or you find you lack energy to finish projects you start. this pattern can give very powerful astral dreams. some that are prophetic. and also shows you have vision of a spiritual nature that can lead you in the path you need to take in life but that can also allow you to deceive your self. the outcome of this pattern is usually a bit of confusion in your younger years because you are all too often unable to make decisions with so many variables running around your mind. this can make you seem a bit unrealistic to friends and others that know you.

your juno/Jupiter midpoint is square to your ascendant .this shows that you most desire a committed marriage. you don't date for fun, you go out only with those who may lead to the altar. this might be a partial problem because you may "scare" men off if they sense you are too interested in marriage.

but it seems to me your major stumbling block is the way your father treated you. it may be that subconsciously you are looking for someone like your father in spite of his constrictive control of you. and as I assume much of your abusive childhood is repressed or blocked, you probably don't realize how much your fathers attitudes are affecting you with men you are interested in.

rahu
 
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rahu

Banned
Oh god! thanks a lot for for interpretation! it's perfect to me, you're right in everything that you wrote. I have never received love for my family and my father is the worst person in the world, I really hate him. He attacks me with black magic, He tried to kill me with a gun when I was a child, he says to me a lot of horrible things. He tried to rape me in the past. Everyday, I wish that he dies. My mother knew all of this and she did nothing.

I Like women more than men. What do you think about my chart? Is there any chance to share my live with a woman? I don't want a husband like my father.


hi catowm

you have the asteroid Sappho conjunct your sun. this could explain why you are interested in women. Sappho was an ancient greek poetess who lived on the island of lesbos. some of her poetry is very homoerotic towards women.

rahu
 
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