Here is why I believe I have the inconjunct between Venus and Pluto...
I have this inability to know what is too much or what is too little to give to others. I don't have an innate sense of my own needs being rational or worthwhile while at the same time I believe the other person has the all the right in the world to say what they need and have me provide it to them. In other words, in relationships, I'm not in touch with my true authentic power. A part of me feels like I 'need' the other person and I just can't let them go no matter how toxic the relationship is. I have tendencies to get obsessive and paranoid because a part of me is looking for my sense of power, but i just don't have it. And there's also a lot of selfesteem in there too. I don't have a sense of my own value or worth so I expect others will disrespect me
And at the same time, I will vacillate between being a pushover, and screaming out demanding my power in ways that are just destructive like manipulating the other person, getting angry and saying truly nasty things, confronting them on my paranoid suspicions of their true intentions, manipulating them when I sense things are at the end. And no matter how bad things get, I have a hard time letting them go like it's something that would devastate me. I have trust issues and as I noted, I have this on/off switch. At first, I'm not at all invested in people, but at some point, the switch turns on and I become altogether way too invested like I'm giving up all my power to them. I have problems becoming obsessive and overbearing and I think because of my Pluto in the 3rd house, this will come out particularly strongly in words, like I sense that's the only way to gain my power back that I've surrendered to them. They're leaving me and it feels like complete betrayal so I feel like I have a right to take out all the verbal guns and ammo. I'm very much about trust in relationships, but when I get to this point, I may use peoples' weaknesses against them and I know while I'm doing this that I'm ruining everything in a way that it will never be able to be fixed, but I somehow can't stop myself. I just feel so intensely betrayed and devastated by the thought of losing them even when I know deep down the relationship was never right
When I'm in a relationship, I never feel secure. There's always paranoid thoughts going on and I'm always feeling these intense emotions just beneath the surface of me waiting to jump out. My trust issues... I definitely have huge selfesteem issues too. I don't see myself as good enough so I don't trust others not to betray me or leave me. I may become invested in people when they aren't as invested in me or because I'm so all or nothing, I become invested and in my mind there are all these strings attached that the other person never asked for and these strings are only there to help me feel secure in the relationship. These issues can come out in friendships too, sadly. So when it seems to me that they aren't acting by those strings that have given me at least a little bit of security, I start lashing out. And like I said, I don't know how to get my needs met, I don't feel like I'm important enough that my needs should be met, so all throughout the relationship, I'm frustrated and constantly giving up my power to the other person because they know how to demand their needs get met. And when I do try to reach out and get my needs met, I feel almost ashamed or I feel like it might make them leave me. And I have this tendency to get myself into relationships where my needs will never be met anyway because I'm not in touch with my own power and value
Because I don't feel an innate sense of value, a part of me is searching for value through other people which is why I think I become so invested. But there's a constant power struggle in my own mind. I know I've given up my power to the other person, but I'm constantly frustrated trying to find ways to reclaim my power in ways that just don't work and make the relationship toxic. I will tend to give too much to others and then regret having given anything at all because I do need to feel my sense of power, but I've realized I've given it up
Lack of self worth has also led me to feel that I have to be attractive and sexy to have value
So I really do feel there's a disjunct between my Venus and Pluto and it's very intense for me, but it's something I'm aware of and have been working on
Personally, I suspect the inconjunct is more than just a minor aspect in which case the orbs would be larger, but then I still don't feel orbs should be strict anyway because that makes little sense to me in something as esoteric as astrology