My daughter: I don’t know the way forward

stormborn

Well-known member
I feel most of my daughter’s life, I’ve been her protector. She will be 27, chart attached. I am at my wits end.

In 2015, she was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. This year, we had to bail her out financially which put us into debt to do, but we felt it was the only way out for her. She went through almost 30K in one year and didn’t pay her bills - her car was repossessed. She now lives with us paying us back.

We just moved to a new city, and it is stressful for her. She was able to transfer her job, but she doesn’t like it much - but it pays very well and it has medical benefits.

She went to a dr, who is not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but with whom she had a conversation. This dr wants to put her on Zoloft. Every fibre of my being is screaming for her not to go that route, she will never come back from it. Do I butt out? I don’t know what to do.

Her natal has strong planets in Sag & Cap, but she doesn’t believe she can do stuff, instead only excuses why she cant.

She’s going through her Saturn return plus her sun is changing signs soon, I get that she’s got a lot going on. She won’t listen to any esoteric stuff, doesn’t believe in god, so she says, but I am not convinced. What to do?

The first chart is my daughter, the second is me.
 

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conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Was she allowed to do anything on her own growing up; trying things out for herself, make her own mistakes and learning lessons from them, or were you the type of mother to be a bit too concerned for her safety?
 

stormborn

Well-known member
She did a lot on her own. My protection was from drugs. The friends she got herself involved in in her teenage years - like many others - were involved in the drug scene, to the point where she was suspended from school.

She always wanted to make her own mistakes and we let her. A change in her outlook seemed to come when she broke up with her boyfriend of four years. That was in 2013 I think, in the summer. I think it is understandable, but she denies any impact. I asked her about that just a few days ago.
 
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unique_astrology

Well-known member
I could not read the placements in the charts you posted and think that most, if not all, others will have the same problem so I have ferreted out the data and reproduced them.
 

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unique_astrology

Well-known member
You are welcome. I am not as good at interpretation as many here so I try to contribute in other ways.

Your daughter's Saturn return is likely to be a very hard time for her as Saturn will be joined by transits of Mercury, the Sun and Pluto.

Before that time gets here assure her that no one, nor any relationship, is the be-all, end-all of who or what she is. Saturn returns can be a time of learning difficult lessons.

If it should be that a relationship ends around then because of unforeseen circumstances or events be there to comfort and guide her.
 

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stormborn

Well-known member
Thank you.
It was a difficult time for her when she broke up with her boyfriend. We were there for her as much as she would allow.

From your chart, I can see there is some heavy time coming up for her in the next three years. I just hope she survives it. I don’t know how to reach her as she refuses any metaphysical talk, though I’ve tried explaining what happened for me at my last Saturn return. We are trying to get her to a psychologist, she is supposed to be picking one to go to. She has a fog around her, if she would just see clearly, I know she would do well. How to burn it away or make it dissipate?

[Deleted birth information for daughter because it is against the rules to post someone else's birth details without their informed consent. - Moderator]
 
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unique_astrology

Well-known member
I just noticed that my astrology program showed the birth time as being Mountain Daylight Time in December. Was that correct?

The angles of my chart appear to match those on the chart you posted.

Attaching your relocated charts,
 

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stormborn

Well-known member
I had to check!! :sideways: I knew most of Saskatchewan doesn’t change time zones, it is Central Standard Time. We were either in sync with AB or in sync with MB. Daylight time changes for us here in Victoria early Nov I think - coming up soon.

I just saw the tags on this thread, and they are “daughter, don’t, forward, medical”, so maybe that’s my answer? I believe in synchronicity but maybe I am just looking for signs that reaffirm my own hopes.

Ps my bday is dec 2 1962 940 am calgary mst I believe.
 
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unique_astrology

Well-known member
I do not mean where the chart was located physically but what time zone was being used by that city on that day. There have been times when cities have observed DST or ST in winter months. Please check and provide the source for your answer.

Thanks.

Bob

ETA: I think the MDT chart is correct as it has Mars on the Asc while the MST chart has Venus on the Desc and Jupiter on the IC and based on your brief remarks about her it seems she is more inclined to be headstrong and not as sweet as the first breath of Spring [just trying to be accurate :)].
 
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unique_astrology

Well-known member
Thank you.

Using CST yields the same chart as MDT, indeed a 6 hour time difference from UT or GMT but Moosejaw's longitude (105°W32') is really 7 hours in longitude from Greenwich [105°32' / 15 = 7:02:08]. It is good to get that right.
 

stormborn

Well-known member
She can be super sweet, but yes she is headstrong. She has difficulty finishing anything. Our charts are very intertwined it seems. I’m trying to do my best for her, but my Pisces Chiron is relentless.
 

unique_astrology

Well-known member
Without going in to details the evening of January 11th and early hours of January 12th, 2020 (a weekend), extreme care should be taken to not leave an opening for trouble to arise. No partying, not going out in public, for company - somebody or only people she absolutely trusts. Use common sense to diminish the possibilities, remembering that you cannot control what may happen to loved ones or actions they may take.
 

stormborn

Well-known member
Thank you. I have set a calendar reminder yearly with a link to this thread.

She told me just recently that she never thought she would live very long - I put it down to fear of missing out on things her friends older siblings were doing. Now I am wondering about that too.
 

aquarius7000

Well-known member
Hi,

Your daughter is a very rebellious and defiant sort of a person that is tough to control. If her time of birth is correct, she has Mars right on her Asc. She is also quite prone to falls and accident, cuts and bruises, and care should also be taken from fire. Was she a Caesarian child?

She is quite intelligent and sharp, both mentally, but also in the things she says sometimes.

Sun and Jupiter in her chart have mutual dignity, so her partner house and her parental home are strong and favourable for her. Both her luminaries are very strong, the Moon in Cancer, and her Sun in Sag. Both parents care deeply for her. However, she might be more defiant towards the mother due to the Uranus-Moon opposition. Her dad could be well educated

Not sure if she has gained higher education or not, but she sure has the ability for it. 9th house is ruled by Saturn, which is well placed in Cap. What is she doing career wise? She has a good career house, too.

She has transiting Saturn on her Venus, and will soon be entering her 8th house. Well, it already did actually and perhaps that is why her debts surfaced. 8th house also stands for addictions, so she should be extremely careful the complete next year, too. There is an inherent fear of losing oneself and of the unknown.
 
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unique_astrology

Well-known member
In her relocated chart Neptune is the most elevated planet - get my drift because of it's connection to altered states and addiction. Between now and January 2020 the space between that Neptune and her Saturn will be occupied by 'no foolin' Pluto.

It is hard to post some of this stuff but addicts will do almost anything to satisfy their cravings, including not being honest with loving, concerned family members. Just sayin'.

Added: There are positive associations with a prominent Neptune: Sensitivity, artistic talent (music, art, acting, dancing, singing, etc,), spirituality (not religiosity). If your daughter shows no interest in any of those areas perhaps you could try steering her towards one of them.
 
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stormborn

Well-known member
Hi,

Your daughter is a very rebellious and defiant sort of a person that is tough to control. If her time of birth is correct, she has Mars right on her Asc. She is also quite prone to falls and accident, cuts and bruises, and care should also be taken from fire. Was she a Caesarian child?

She is quite intelligent and sharp, both mentally, but also in the things she says sometimes.

Sun and Jupiter in her chart have mutual dignity, so her partner house and her parental home are strong and favourable for her. Both her luminaries are very strong, the Moon in Cancer, and her Sun in Sag. Both parents care deeply for her. However, she might be more defiant towards the mother due to the Uranus-Moon opposition. Her dad could be well educated

Not sure if she has gained higher education or not, but she sure has the ability for it. 9th house is ruled by Saturn, which is well placed in Cap. What is she doing career wise? She has a good career house, too.

She has transiting Saturn on her Venus, and will soon be entering her 8th house. Well, it already did actually and perhaps that is why her debts surfaced. 8th house also stands for addictions, so she should be extremely careful the complete next year, too. There is an inherent fear of losing oneself and of the unknown.

Hi, thank you for all of this. She is very very smart, but does not give herself the credit or confidence. I tell her that and she goes into victim mode. Every time she is doing well with money or diet or such, and I tell her so, she sabotages her success. I am not allowed to tell her when she is doing well.

She went to college & to university, but did not finish. She cites her inability to budget because she can’t add and subtract. (Yes she can, because when she isn’t thinking about what she can’t do, she does it.) Career wise, she is working at a salad bar in a grocery store. Pays super well, union, plus medical & vision benefits. It is the only thing that is stable in her life and she fights it constantly. Doesn’t like working there. She’s been there for 9? Years? Maybe coming to 10? the only reason she stayed is because we forced her with logic. Thank god she listened to that - sorta. She’s interested in business, but doesn’t want to do the education.

She is not a drug user yet. When she was growing up, I kept thinking if I could get her to 21 she will be home free. Then it became 25. Now I wonder if there is an end?

She was natural, all my kids were. Yes, we love her very much. She rebels against me tremendously. I have to be very careful what I say otherwise she goes the other way. The only advantage we have here is that we are controlling her funds so she can’t spend anything. My husband and I did wonder if she was actually buying stuff for other people which is why she went through all those funds - that is what our gut is telling us but she said no when we asked.

When she gets sick, she gets really sick. Now, with the diabetes, if she gets sick, her numbers go super high, and she is down for the count for a week or more. Has she taken responsibility for her diet? Hmm, jury is out on that one but I suspect not. She is fortunate enough to live in a suite in our house, it is self contained so she has her independence. Maybe we are indulging her too much?

She is no stranger to alternate truth.
 
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stormborn

Well-known member
In her relocated chart Neptune is the most elevated planet - get my drift because of it's connection to altered states and addiction. Between now and January 2020 the space between that Neptune and her Saturn will be occupied by 'no foolin' Pluto.

It is hard to post some of this stuff but addicts will do almost anything to satisfy their cravings, including not being honest with loving, concerned family members. Just sayin'.

Added: There are positive associations with a prominent Neptune: Sensitivity, artistic talent (music, art, acting, dancing, singing, etc,), spirituality (not religiosity). If your daughter shows no interest in any of those areas perhaps you could try steering her towards one of them.

Thank you. I am encouraging her in the art. She really enjoyed the theatre in high school, maybe that is something I can encourage her towards here, as there is a bigger theatre scene in Victoria than our last place of residence.

I’ve given her some of my artist supplies, hoping she will go that way. She refuses to discuss any esoterica - astrology, psychic ability (which I think she has - maybe like me she is a sponge and doesn’t know what is hers and what is others) - anything along that line. She told me she thinks she will just go back to energy with nothing else, no consciousness etc. I told her maybe she is Stoic, and gave her Marcus Aurelius to read. She won’t read anything I give her. :crying:
 

Nymzie

New member
Honestly, with her Sun and Venus in Sag, I wouldn't give her out and out advice at all. You'll feel like chains and she might try to run. She might already feel chained to you, with the money she owes you. Sags value independence over almost everything. They can't be bossed. Mars on the asc will extenuate the need to feel in charge of herself. I wouldn't be surprised if she purposefully does the exact opposite of what you suggest just because she can't let you be in charge of her. She might want to do what you want her to do, but then do a complete 180 if you suggest it.

Sags think they know everything. Don't push your esoteric beliefs on her. If she believes they're not true, you're not going to change her mind. And if she doesn't believe in God, trying to force her to (even gently saying "want to go to church/pray with me?" can feel like you're forcing) could alienate her.

Let her do her Saturn Return on her own. That's the point of growing up, you have to figure it out on your own. It's a time to make mistakes. Of course starting addictive pills is a giant mistake, and you should let her know you're always there for her, and don't encourage it, but... don't let her know you're trying to get her to do what YOU want her to do. It will backfire.

Her Moon in Cancer, opposed Uranus is a confusing one to me. Especially with a Sag sun. Those energies just aren't very compatible. I'm not sure how, emotionally, she manages to have any clue what she wants or need. She needs family, warmth, predictability, but she also needs distance. Your struggle is to figure out how to be there for her without suffocating her.

Being her protector is insulting to someone with strong Mars. She's the warrior/protector, not the victim. At least in her mind. Another reason to try to back off. She has to come into her own warrior self and she can't do that if you're usurping the role.

I'm not sure if any of this helped but... good luck! :) I know it's hard to back off when it's your child. It was good of you to be her protector growing up. It's hard to let go, but it has to be done <3
 
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