https://m.imgur.com/a/2DEV09D
Hello. I believe there are many aspects in my chart indicating the following (which is very true of my life):
- I am passionate about getting validation from people. I use other people to help me define myself
- I have very strong difficulty with relationships. So I chase after validation, am dependent on it, but it also gets quickly taken from me- either I get ignored by people or confronted by them and treated harshly.
- I pretty much “come alive” when it comes to people; otherwise I have little interest in anything else which frustrates me.
- I have, thus, very poor self esteem and self confidence. I do not trust myself at all. I also don’t know how to rely on myself or be less dependent on others.
I’m just wondering what areas of my life can I focus on, based on the chart, to help me improve this situation?
Well, your past life symbol (absent in the chart you posted) is in Gemini, first house, indicating there is a wound to your independence, autonomy and the way you perceive yourself. Chiron in Virgo further tells the story of self-doubt and self-criticism. Your Mercury thought-processes in Scorpio, 6th house - and can represent having some fear in the 7th house of relationships. Scorpio in 6th can be a little obsessive in feel. I don't know if that fits you.
The ruler of your chart is Venus, and it is in Scorpio - on the 7th house cusp. You probably need to be cautious in your relationships. A Taurus rising likes to socialize and make nice with everyone. But, a Venus in Scorpio sees the dark side - may be more attuned to the fear side of Scorpio.
Regardless, along with a Cancer Moon, you need to attend to your feelings and become aware of any unconscious stuff that you need to analyze and heal. But, you also need to expand yourself beyond all the thinking and analyzing of the nitty gritty details. You probably focus on the details of yourself - you may be a perfectionist and be a bit hard on yourself.
Sagittarius is about expanding, exploring, having faith in yourself - and learning from others and assimilating what you've learned onto yourself. Your Sun, Mars and North Node are there to help you do that.
You need relationship interactions to learn about yourself - to evolve yourself - but - you probably need to be careful who you let into your inner circle. You are here to evolve the way you do relationships.
Venus, Pluto, Mercury and Jupiter are all in Scorpio - a more emotional, psychological sign. Scorpio is known to be fearful. Cancer Moon is also a feeling-emotional sign - known for its sensitivity.
In contrast is Sun, Mars and North node - symbolizing new territory in Sagittarius. Sagittarius is more of a mental process sign rather than an emotional one. Focus more on developing your Sag Sun/Mars. When you are in your feelings - worry, anxiety, wanting permission and affirmation from others, stop yourself and challenge those thoughts. Every time you catch yourself seeking validation, challenge it - tell it to go away - name it - and this gives you more power over it. Eventually, if you start just doing stuff without validation, you strengthen your confidence. It will most likely take you a while - but you've got to start somewhere. Confidence comes with experience. Be sure and give yourself kudos every time to catch yourself doing it, even if you can't stop the feelings or behavior. It's a beginning - and - a step forward. You need to celebrate every little step forward. It does add up - eventually. You'll see.