Emotionally Blocked Scorpio

I wasn't really sure whether to ask this or even bring it up, but I've kind of reached a point where I think it's becoming a problem. I'm a Scorpio, born on November 11th and am a professional musician. This past year my mother became extremely ill and almost died and that coupled with a lot of other things led me to shut down emotionally. I've read up on Scorpios and have realized that I do hide/suppress a lot of emotions. I'm currently in the studio recording and have been told that it sounds like I'm just going through the motions and can't wait for the song to be over. I'm a singer, guitar player, and songwriter and I find even songs written about extremely sensitive topics like the death of a close family member who practically raised me don't make me feel anything anymore. The songs are extremely emotionally driven but I can't seem to let go and go to whatever place I used to anymore. I don't know why or what to do but I feel pretty trapped. It's getting to the point where I need to unblock everything/fix the issue but I don't know how. I don't know if anyone here has any advice or suggestions as I feel pretty stupid for even posting this, but I thought it was worth a shot.

Thanks.

Ash

Hello Ash

I was also born on the 11th November in the year of 1983. Do you want members to have a look of your chart? If so you can creat a free horoscope in astro.com and attach the chart here. I am sure many people would like to give you some comments. When you go to the site on the left, free horoscope->extended chart and go from there.

All the best

Po yi

And Ash

I don't think your question sounded stupid. Is ok and we all get frustrated every now and then. You have came to the right place. But you need to know your correct birth time to get an accurate chart that is very important.

If you don't have the accurate birth time, situation like now, I suggest you to express your emotions before its overwhelming you. As a Scorpio I also have problems like this at time. Lucky enough I am rather opened and expressive unlike regular Scorpio, in fact I have little secrets which actually made me emotionally happier.

Don't feel bad about posting your situation, that's what this forum is all about. It sounds like you could use some assistance and there's a lot of knowledgeable astrologers on this site who may be able to help.

It could be a current transit that is causing some of the problems. We won't know until we look at your chart.

Like Poyi mentioned, please go to the "extended chart selection" at astro.com and save an image of a chart with "transits". Then upload the chart here. An accurate birth time is a must for an accurate interpretation.

My mother is a Scorpio and she tends to hide her feelings...

Thanks so much for the replies Po yi and StillOne.

I had to find out the time I was born, sorry for the delay. Here's the chart I came up with:



Thanks for the help.

Hello again,

I am about to some lunch/dinner. The first thing I noticed which you Venus and Jupiter mutual reception in 10th and 7th house but by square, challenging aspect that require work and effort to maintain balance as each of this can take over the other in theory. Square aspect when is being used well in your case that is your talent in Art/music, the nature of Venus, beauty/art/money/love had been expanded by Jupiter. 10th is career house. So this chart should be correct for you. Jupiter square the inspirational planet Neptune can also confirm this talent.

In Placidus system, Moon is in your 3rd house and Mercury is the natural ruler of the 3rd and Moon in Gemini also therefore issue and connection between the two are strongly emphasised. I suggest continue to use music as the way to release your hidden emotion would be a wise thing. Rx Mercury the communication is driven direct inward. You are better and communicating with yourself and by singing song your messages can get through to others, those whom hear the sings can more likely to understand you better. Since singing a sing is a communication for both direct inward and is also channeled outward.

The main problem regarding to suppressed and uneasy hidden emotions. Here we see that all your planets are mostly in the outside public section the above horizon section of the chart but your Moon, the unconsciousness and emotion, our reaction to the external world is located in the below horizon section which also makes an opposition to your Rx Mercury. Mercury rules all forms of communication from verbal, body languages, music, art kinds of expression and this planet is Rx. It was moving backward looking from earth on the day of your birth. So here we see the emotion side, the unconsicouness is making a direct tense aspect to Mercury that demands you to learn to balance the energies of these two.

Due to the mutual reception of both Jupiter and Venus your Mercury is being influenced by these two planets.

Perhaps all these uneasy emotions here demand you to write more songs and sing better; these are even the keys factors that makes your career.

I better eat. My foods are waiting for me.
Talk to you later.

Po yi

Sorry I should say playing musical instruments haha

Today we have Lunar Eclipse in Sagiturius at 14 that will effect your Sagiturius cusp and have impacts on all you axises and I myself also have mutable ascendant Virgo so it will also affect me but from my 4th and to my 7th house. I am not sure the function of eclipse but I expected some kind of Change or perhaps enlightenment as a mark of new cycle I believed. There are few threads in the forum about the lunat eclipse and the upcoming Venus Gemini Rx transit happening tomorrow.

This Venus Rx is also in your 3rd house where your moon located. Maybe that would be the reason to cause more emotional side of problem. But transit only last a period and it will resolve itself when it is completed. By August this Venus in Gemini will go direct motion by then you would be different for better

The lunar eclipse affects only up to 19 degrees so you just missed by one degree! XD

Your Mars is the other factor to cause emotional problems. Mars in cancer is ruled by the Moon Inconjunct Venus and opposite Neptune. I would let other members to give their comments.

Thanks for coming back and posting your chart.

When I first glanced at your chart I thought you were going through your Saturn return! However, it looks like you put the "start date" on astro to equal your birthdate, so that would make all your transiting planets position themselves how they were when you were born.

So, to me, it looks like what you're going through is transiting Chiron square your Natal Moon. This will most definitely be an emotional time for you as Chiron brings up past emotional (Moon) trauma as it tries to create healing through this experience. This transit will eventually pass.
http://astrolibrary.org/transits/chiron-square-moon.html

Sorry to hear about your mother I hope she is recovered now.

The moon sometimes represents the mother in the chart or the mothering influence and yes it is also how we express our feelings. In gemini the moon maybe analyses a lot.

The SN has recently crossed over your moon in gemini.(the SN is retrograde in motion) I wonder also about neptune's shift into pisces. a sign change by an outer planet can sometimes set our chart 'rumbling or 'quivering' as the energies adjust. Neptune is about ideals and is sometimes seen as the 'higher octave of venus.

When did you mothers illness occur? was it sudden? as you are not that old she must be in her 50's at most.

you do have a well placed mercury in 9th House(although not by sign - mercury in sagi is not the strongest placement for this) However it is good for other - study etc and philosophy. The north node has crossed over is there now so a more favourable time for this area of your chart. It also has a sextile to jupiter in 7th house which may strengthen it.

http://www.astrology-x-files.com/houses/mercury-9.html

mercury is well placed in gemini.

there is a lot of activity across this sagi and gemini axis right now(generally so for everyone) with a series of eclipses and the infamous venus transit to the sun. So I wonder whether this will have some influence( it does not directly contact your moon though)

your north node is in sagi at 22 degree and south node therefore gemini 22 degrees.
so a north node return occurred about July 2011 - anything of significance happen at this time?

The SN on your moon would have occurred around March 2012, with north node conj mercury.

here is a link about the moon's node's
http://www.aquamoonlight.co.uk/nodes.html


In studying astrology(a 9th House pursuit) you may come to understand yourself and events in your life better.

all the best

Ruler of your emotional nature is Mercury. It is in Sagittarius, 9th house, retrograde. It is opposed by the moon, which is the 'MIND'. Your emotional nature may be based on a need to explore, freedom, able to move on easily and your mind is plugged into the past and influenced a lot by childhood, home environment...perhaps even your music was influenced in some way by this. This causes a dichotomy for you...wanting to be free emotionally and 'explore' yet the mind is still plugged into the past...how to resolve this stalemate is most likely through therapy. Saturn is lord of the 12th (deep subconscious) and will help you emotionally. This can be through therapy. Meditation can also help, but you also need to talk it out and find out the root cause (meditation will help discover this)...

Wow..thank you for all the responses! Po yi, that's shocking how accurate what you said is to who I am and my life.

Caro, it started November of 2010 I believe and ended in November 2011. It was the result of a botched standard procedure and then a botched surgery so it was fairly sudden I suppose although dragged out quite a bit. Yeah, she is in her late 50s.

Yes, in early July 2011 I moved out of the town I grew up after high school.

You also mentioned March 2012 which and from what I can tell South Node means something negative happened during that month? I'm a bit confused about exactly what it means.

retinoid, thanks for your response. I was advised to go to therapy after the family illness earlier this year, but I didn't. I can't say I've really addressed a lot of past emotional issues (I was raised by a single mom...that kinda stuff). I definitely feel like I can't let go like I used to as a kid. I can never just escape into whatever I'm doing it seems like...even while performing live...like I'm not able to fully lose myself or just completely go for it, even when it may appear that way for others. It's something that my mother, who is a pisces, can easily do and something I envy in other musicians who are/were pisces and had such ease in bringing out their emotions. Music is really the only thing that allows me to do that, but I feel like there is still something holding me back...like I really haven't gotten to the real deep stuff if that makes any sense.

**** sorry to make this thread so heavy...definitely didn't intend it! Guess that's what happens when you post at 4 in the morning!

AshX

You actually know your own problems. You just need somebody to confirm with you. You know yourself better. Keep going with you beautiful work. I am not good at reading but ok with counselling . You will be great with your career and you do need music.

Take care
Po yi

SN transit(march '12) - maybe it was about bringing these feelings you experience now to the surface(or into your awareness) by being aware of transits you can come to understand how this affects your chart energies and yourself.

sun conj pluto in 8th in scorpio - you feel things very deeply indeed.(although held privately)
infact your expression of your mothers situation in your previous post shows your anger.
Is she complaining? how do you feel about it? revenge?sometimes by making a complaint although it doesnt alter the situation it can help put the matter behind you.
http://www.myastrologybook.com/Pluto-in-the-eighth-house-8th-house.htm

(good she has recovered)

Thanks, Po yi. Your help has been much appreciated.

Caro said:

SN transit(march '12) - maybe it was about bringing these feelings you experience now to the surface(or into your awareness) by being aware of transits you can come to understand how this affects your chart energies and yourself.

sun conj pluto in 8th in scorpio - you feel things very deeply indeed.(although held privately)
infact your expression of your mothers situation in your previous post shows your anger.
Is she complaining? how do you feel about it? revenge?sometimes by making a complaint although it doesnt alter the situation it can help put the matter behind you.
http://www.myastrologybook.com/Pluto-in-the-eighth-house-8th-house.htm

(good she has recovered)

Click to expand...

There are a lot of I suppose, past events and situations that upset or anger me in some way...not so much toward my mother about her illness but mainly those responsible for it I guess. The music I write seems to be largely angry/based on experiences and events that were less than positive. I do feel better when I write about those things, but reliving them over and over can be difficult sometimes.

energyremoved