I am moved by how much you care for your daughter, it´s beautiful
I see that your daughter has Neptune in the first house conjunct the Ascendant like I do and Mars and Venus square Neptune like I do. Neptune on the ASC makes her more receptive to her surroundings. Neptune represents the subconscious mind and also the spiritual plane. It can make a person feel like an emotional sponge and invaded by others. I do not know if she feels the way I do, but I can feel violated at an emotional/soul level by other people´s presence. She may also be sensitive to sounds and smells and have a sensitive body and sensitive skin. I have tinnitus and something that is called misophonia, certain sounds trigger a fight/flight reaction in me. I have more neural connections in the frontal lobe than other people. My belief is that this partly has to do with being born into a difficult environment. Babies take the world in through their emotions since the mind is not yet developed. Children feel that they need to tune in intensely to the environment if it seems dangerous so that they can try to learn to predict what will happen.
I have read that this conjunction makes a person more prone to experiencing a sensory overload. It is difficult to be sensitive and live in this world. For example seeing someone bully another person is horrendous for me since I am more sensitive to what is happening within the bully and the victim and it causes me pain. But I can also see other people´s inner beauty and be deeply moved by it.
Alcohol makes me feel less invaded, more numb and more like a normal person. I feel the effect for a couple of days afterwards as well. But it has many downsides; one of them is that it triggers narcissistic tendencies in me and if I would drink alcohol often I would be unable to work with myself on an emotional level and evolve. It is possible to use Neptune in order to deceive yourself and others by creating fairy tales that aren´t real. I did it when I was younger and my illusions felt real to me and I was not even aware about what I was doing. With age I have learnt how to see things more clearly. I cannot use drugs because my body and my mind cannot handle them and I don´t want to use them either.
A natural reaction is to want to create a wall in order to be protected. But that makes things worse, I feel even more trapped, suffocated, threatened and lonely when I do that. What works best for me is to imagine that I consist of white energy. I can expand and there are thousands of little passages that go through me and the world can flow through them.
It is very common to feel victimized when you have strong Neptunian influences. It is ok and natural to feel like a victim and process the pain of the experience. However, it´s also helpful to gradually try to understand and accept the world a little bit more. People are at the level they are at and they do what they do. When I see people behave in bad ways I try to look at them the way I look at children. Children do not understand everything. It is also helpful that I have discovered some rather immature and dysfunctional things about myself over the years. If someone does not understand something I think back at when I did not understand something that seems very simple and logical to me now. I also am certain of the fact that there are still tons of things for me to discover about myself and that makes me a bit more humble.
One thing that helps me is when I use my capacity to connect with everything and reach for deeper and deeper levels. On one level there is pain and destructive behaviors. Then I see the wounds behind those behaviors and I understand the cause. Then I sense that everything that happens is meant to help us evolve, it feels as if there is love behind everything. This might sound super spacey and delusional, but I believe that the neptunian imagination and intuition can be used as a remedy for the neptunian problems in many different ways. Your daughter has Chiron in the twelfth so I don´t think that the feeling of being connected to everything at a deep level comes easily to her. But I believe that she can use that brilliant and very intutive mind of hers and her imagination as tools to heal. My brain can believe in my imagination more easily because of my neptunian nature. I can use that fact as a tool to do some serious inner child work. In order to do that one needs to connect to inner repressed emotions. She may not be very prone to doing that. In my younger days when I wanted to escape from myself, my inner chaos was mirrored back to me through other people. The more I am connected to myself, the more I get to experience transits within me instead. I can work with the energy more directly instead of experiencing a lot of drama in order to trigger the emotions I am meant to deal with. I do not project as much. If I meet someone who affects me I am able to understand what the person is meant to teach me rather quickly and I work with myself instead of trying to change the person.
It is possible to become more self-confident, stronger, happier and to find better people. Instead of waiting for the world to improve and feel stuck in a state of powerlessness and victimhood, it is a good idea to focus on self-improvement, self-healing and on finding and connecting to good people. I personally find it difficult to find the kind of love that is my ideal. The world is not as evolved as I need it to be. I am disappointed in people for being like they are but I don´t think about it all of the time, I focus mainly on improving myself and when I do that I see gradual improvements in my life. By looking at the entire chart I imagine that she may feel unlovable and it can be difficult to see the love she receives since the world is not evolved enough in order to give her love at the evolved level she desires to be loved. She also has Moon in Pisces which creates even more sensitivity.
It is complicated to be able to sense other people as well as she can and to be able to differentiate between what belongs to her and what belongs to other people. I can suddenly feel an intensely negative emotion while I am interacting with someone without knowing if it is something that was triggered within me or if I am simply feeling what that person is experiencing. It gets easier with age and experience to know what is happening but it is complicated. Your daughter’s mercury is sensitive as well to other people´s minds and thoughts.
Self-cutting can be a way to try to control and numb emotions and it can be a cry for help. The problem is that if she creates walls and if she is trapped within a prison of her own making, others cannot force themselves through those walls. That adds to the feeling that no one cares enough about her and that no one helps her. It´s like with the princesses in fairy tales. Princesses in fairy tales can be locked up in a prison or poisoned and they wait passively. They feel powerless to free themselves. They want a hero to love them unconditionally and they want the hero to be prepared to do anything in order to save them. But if it is a prison you have made yourself or if you are poisoned by your own negative emotions and beliefs about yourself it is very difficult for people to do that. In order to be saved you need to let other people help you save yourself. You need to meet them halfway and work intensely.
It is also a fact that this world is very poorly skilled at supporting and guiding sensitive people. People with walls around them often sense when someone is not able to truly see and understand them and then they don´t see the use in dropping their walls. They don´t even give the person a chance to try to give whatever the person may be capable of giving. Perhaps your daughter could learn about how to deal with her sensitivity and later on she can help people or somehow share info about methods that are helpful. It would be great if it would be possible to find a therapist who is sensitive and evolved, someone she would look up to and trust. Someone who she thinks understands life better than her instead of the opposite. Otherwise she could perhaps find some guru like figure on the internet or find some info on the internet or in books about how to deal with her problems. She needs guidance and she needs to feel that there is someone who can see her and understand her.
It is easy to be upset with the world for not having the capacity to deal with sensitive people. But it is only the sensitive people who are able to understand what is needed so it is kind of their responsibility to create those methods and arrange the right kinds of treatments and guidance. It is also important for us all to understand that no one can save us from ourselves and that no one can do the work that needs to be done for us. They can merely stand by our side and love us in the best way they can and perhaps guide us if they have the right kind of knowledge in order to do that.
I do not know if my thoughts are correct, I simply share info based on what I have read and experienced. I have Mercury conjunct Chiron as well and I know someone with harsh aspects between Sun, Moon, Saturn and Pluto and I can share my thoughts about that as well.
Btw, have you noticed that she has Lilith conjunct IC?