Hi Fireboy. I just had a look at your transits and progressions for the time when you said that your problems became more intense. About a month after your 15th birthday, your progressed Moon moved into Scorpio, which could reflect an intensification of any feelings that you cannot trust that the world will welcome and support you. Earlier in 2001, transiting Saturn settled into your 10th house for a few years after passing over your MC twice in 2000. But transits and progressions like these must have triggered something that was always very much a part of you, I would guess, because the problems have continued for such a long time.
At the moment, as transiting Chiron moves across your descendant (assuming accurate birth time) it will trigger the aspect pattern in your chart which I would guess is the main significator of the difficulties you've discussed on this thread: the pattern which involves Mars in Capricorn, Saturn in the 4th house, Moon (conjunct North Node) in Aries in the 8th, and the Ascendant all making hard aspects to one another (including a semisquare and a sesquiquadrate, which are very important when they combine with squares and oppositions), apart from there is no aspect within orb between Mars and ascendant using the birth time on your chart.
So transiting Chiron has become part of this pattern now for this year and next. Your progressed Sun has been also making hard aspects to the planets in this pattern since late 2008, and is now moving away from a square to natal Mars as this progression to the natal pattern comes to an end. Transiting Saturn joins in too between now and the end of October, perhaps marking this as a time to take concrete action to alter the ways the energies manifest in your life, but also perhaps intensifying your frustration at being oppressed by how things are currently.
Also aspecting both Mars and Moon in the birth chart is natal Chiron and Uranus.
As I've said in a previous post on this thread I think, this suggests that you have been experiencing a depression due to suppressed anger, the two being very closely related - I think it was Fritz Pearles who used to sometimes ask patients, 'Who are you depressed at?' Having turned in on itself, the anger could be manifesting as self-loathing, which, when projected outwards into the world becomes an expectation of being unacceptable to others. With your sense of potency and capacity to dare to excel severely inhibited, it would be no wonder that you fear that anything you try will come to nothing.
One of the things that Chiron seems to symbolise is the search for understanding spurred by crushed ideals of what life, and humanity, should be like compared to apparently random and cruel world to which we often bare witness. But the first step in understanding is to accept that whatever 'injustices' have hurt you cannot be undone, and to acknowledge the 'wounded animal' rage within. So this year and next are potentially a time of progress. But with Chiron moving into the 7th, there is, I think, a sense that forming a therapeutic relationship would make a difference.
Transiting Pluto is also sextiling your Pluto, adding to the sense that this could be a time of dredging up what is holding you back and clearing it away to some extent.
If you cannot find the strength to ask for help from the public clinic you mentioned, then you would be missing out on the possibility of forming a therapeutic relationship in which you could test and dismantle these expectations that you are carrying, and in which you can express your feelings in a safe place. If you chose to go it alone, then perhaps keeping a journal would be a good idea. Transiting Pluto is approaching a square to your natal Mercury, so your thoughts may be drawn down to the roots of your struggles. With transiting Uranus joining in too, you may get some important insights if you spend some time focusing your mind in this way. Or if you prefer you could write more creatively, or a mixture of both approaches.
From a brief look at transits and progressions for the next few years, I think it is likely that things will feel gradually lighter, with perhaps 2012 being markedly different, giving you the emotional breathing space to explore how you would like to interact with, and participate, in the world. There will be a lot of emphasis on your 2nd house Mercury, which rules your 2nd house Sun, due the transits of Uranus and Pluto, so perhaps you will come see how you can develop and use your craft skills and/or mental faculty. With Sun in Virgo, you always have something to gain by developing yourself as a craftsman in whatever way (and also in trying to keep a daily routine going in which you care for, and improve, your physical surroundings and your mind & body.) Perhaps a sport would be good, as it would involve learning a skill, and also giving an outlet to that Moon in Aries energy - probably a martial art would be very good for you. Ignore your self-doubt for once and go for it!
I don't know if any of this is useful, but due to the limitations of astrology, and my limitations as an astrologer, its the best I can do.