getting back in touch response from him got me kinda puzzled....

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here. Last weekend, I sent a short email to man I had interest in several years ago. We met online in 2005, and we hit it off kind of well, I thought, but he was in a different state, about 10 hours drive away. We both knew it may not work due to the distance, but we stayed in touch on and off for a few years. That is to say, he would contact me sporadically during the year.

In 2008, I was just getting involved with someone else, and he started to call me. This time more frequently. I didn't mind the calls at first because I thought they would stop soon as that was his pattern. But He kept calling like 2 - 3 times a week. We had long interesting conversations and I did like him, but we began to have differences in a major area of our lives. Actually this major area was the very thing that attracted me to him. As time went on, we would get into emotional discussions and I just wasn't looking for that drama. I think I became angry with him that he was unstable in this area. Eventually, I let him know I didn't think it would work out between us because I had experienced that before with a man and it was just TOO important that we both be in agreement in this are. He told me he didn't know why he loved me so much (we had never met) and it kinda shocked me. He never said that before, and I was surprised he would say something like that to me AFTER we were in this heated discussion.

That was in 2008. In 2011, I contacted him in with a short email to which he responded directly and said "let's catch up". I replied back, but I never got a response so I let it be. I wanted to know if he had made a decision to be more stable in the area that caused division between us (I didn't say this in the email.)

Last week, I sent another email telling him I was thinking about him and wanted him to know I'd like to get back in touch. I really liked talking to him before, and really wanted a friendship than a relationship. (I still didn't know if he was still "on the fence" in this particular matter, but if he was, there was no reason why we couldn't be friends. At least, I'd hoped.)

He responded directly with a short email. I sent another back with a little news of my life and I asked if he felt comfortable about staying in touch. I didn't hear back. A few times during this week, I almost wrote him again, but I didn't. I figured he didn't feel comfortable with staying n touch with me for whatever reason. I was cool with that.

He respond today -- five days later. He let me know he'd met someone and she was wonderful and his best friend and who he was committed and want to marry. He wanted to be faithful and he didn't think being in touch with me was the right thing to do even though our "relationship" was more on the platonic/spiritual side.

I email back and told him congratulations and wished him every happiness sincerely. I agreed that our acquaintance was more on the platonic side because that was true, we had never met or anything, just talked on the phone or via email. I told him I will always consider him a friend.

He did not write back, but several hours later, I received 25 emails from him containing the reply of congratulations I sent to him. They were sent from his email, but there was no reply of his in them. It was sent 25 times and it was not autosend because this free account doesn't have that feature. It would have had to have been manually sent.

It looked like he copied and pasted my response to him and just kept sending it to me. I don't understand this. Can anyone shed any light on this? He is scorpio and I am Piscean cusp.

Thanks.

Maybe his computer got stuck when he was writing and he pressed the send function several times without realising he had sent emails that many times.... My comp does get stuck as its quite old and slow connection, so sometimes when I'm impatient, I keep pressing on refresh button etc...

Otherwise if he really did send 25 times intentionally, that is very weird. Possibly his girlfriend read your email and got suspicious, so she might have done it to scare you off.

Either way if I were you, I'd just shrug this off and move forward. Maybe this is the end of your friendship. Many times when we form friendships and 'relationships' with a person over the internet, its mostly an illusion, we start idealising that person and fall for a person who may not really resemble the real person. This may have happened for him - he fell for you, but not the real you, rather a version of you. Now that he has met someone else, he is obviously scared that his feelings for you may return and this will cause issues for him. So he chooses to stay away...Maybe he feels he can't really be friends with you, because of how he felt about you... He is a proper honest sort of a guy. Where is his Moon, Venus and ASC?

Thanks, Rafaella. I was trying to figure out what could have happened, because to send an email that many times within 10 mins of each other was very strange. It just wasnt a glitch in his system and I'll tell you why.

When I received his initial response last week to first contact, his return username was just the first three letters of his first name, which could also be used as a sort of short/nickname i.e.: Tom (that's not his name tho). I also didn't recognize it, thought it was a spam. But once I saw my subject line I knew it was him so I opened it. It was short response with the usual politeness of asking what's new, etc. I responded back with a little more details and ended with asking if he was comfortable staying in touch. He didn't reply right away as he did initially.

However, five days later, his response email had his full name listed as the user name. When I saw this, I figured that he changed it back to full name because he definitely wanted me to know it was him replying (I knew the 3-letters, so he didn't have to change it). This had to have been done deliberately because his email address itself was unaltered. I replied with congratulations and my best wishes and that was that. I really didn't think I'd hear from him.

Several hours later, I was just checking my email on my phone and I saw several emails with his short username on it. The username was changed again to the short 3-letter nickname and was sent 25 times. Almost immediately I thought there was something wrong with my phone or email app rendering in the phone because surely no one would do that. I opened one and then another and then another (in random order) and all were exactly the same. He had cut and pasted my email of congratulations to him in each one. It was not like he clicked "reply" because the email header containing my name, date, email and subject line was not there but they weren't. Either he or someone else actually took the time to copy and paste each one in each email because it wasn't like a forward or anything.

I did think it could have been his girlfriend, but this wouldn't be something a woman would do who is trying to scare me off. Replying to my email 25 times in 10 mins would peak a woman's interest, not scare her off, right? Plus, from his thoughtful reply to me, she should be proud of him. It was five years ago that he and I actually had any meaningful conversations via email or phone and we've never met physically.

Rafaella, I wish I could know the reason behind those 25 emails. I want to ask him to find out if he knows what happened, but I respect him and won't contact him anymore. If we were friends, then I could and we'd probably have a laugh about it.

I don't know what his aspects are. On one of those dating sites I saw him on in 2011 (I disabled my account 2 years ago), it did list those, but I don't have an active account with that site anymore.

welcome comments

moonkissed said:

I did think it could have been his girlfriend, but this wouldn't be something a woman would do who is trying to scare me off. Replying to my email 25 times in 10 mins would peak a woman's interest, not scare her off, right? Plus, from his thoughtful reply to me, she should be proud of him. It was five years ago that he and I actually had any meaningful conversations via email or phone and we've never met physically.

Click to expand...

No, i think sending a letter 25 times would scare most women off, or at least cause them to question someone's mental state.
I know it would send me packing, because that would be a big red flag.

i agree with Rafaella on just about everything. & If you are writing him again he probably feels some emotions stirring up.. because you were whatever he created in his fantasy of you, since he never really met you. that is really difficult to let go of. but he has someone that he cares for, in his real life now. and i think you should honor that. and just let this situation go. because you won't likely find out why this note was sent so many times unless you ask him directly.
and what if he tells you, it was because your letter stirred up feelings again, or that he was upset, or maybe he finds out his partner did it- and it causes problems for them etc. etc. then what? because you don't want to be with him. and he cares for someone else. nothing will be gained.. just dragging emotions through the mud, that are mostly made up of idealizations anyway.

just my 2 cents.

ashriia, thanks. Yes, I can see your point as far as the spazzz flurry of emails. She just doesn't trust him.

As I said, I reached out to him because I do like him and wanted to find out if he had made a decision regarding the point of contention between us after all these years. Honestly, his answer to that would have determined (for me) whether I would have ever contacted him again.

However, he never answered that direct question. Instead of answering, he opted to tell me about his being involved with someone.

I have no intention of contacting him again, as I said, due to mutual respect (self-respect and how I think of him). My reply of congratulations, though brief, was sincerely sent. I wish him all the best. It was that tirade of emails that opened this query.

I like astrology and sought advice here from that general standpoint in this forum. It's too bad I don't have his placements, perhaps then my post would be more relevant and get insight based on those aspects. Oh, well.

comments welcome