How can I become more assertive?

melisa

Well-known member
Hello---
I have some understanding about why I am not assertive enough (Mars oppose Nept, Merc. square Neptune, 12th house Cancer)...I am wondering what I can use in my chart to become more assertive? Does anyone see any astrological strengths I can use to feel more comfortable in speaking up about my feelings?
Melisa
 

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Innayat

Well-known member
Hello Melisa,

With Leo Rising and Cancer Sun I cannot imagine why you wouldn't already be assertive enough.

With the Neptune touch ups + Pisces SN I do not think that the problem is that you are not assertive enough, it may just be that you feel a lack of motivation for certain things you do not believe in. Learn to set goals. Neptune influences make it a little hard to stay real with everyday work. But at the end of the day work is still work that has to be done. Set goals and always finish them because the accomplishment is key in how you live for your own enhancement.
 
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waybread

Well-known member
Maybe we can analyse the horoscope behind your question. You have a big, kind, caring sun conjunct Venus in motherly Cancer, trining a psychically sensitive moon-Neptune. I wonder if you are at least somewhat psychic! But your sun-Venus is opposed by Saturn. Saturn is the planet who can make us feel inadequate or not good enough. So you may be hard wired to want to take care of people, whether they deserve it or not; and whether they are at all grateful or not.

I note that Saturn is in your 5th house of children. I don't suppose you have something like an older "boomerang" child at home who is causing you concern?

Being "Assertive" about your "Feelings" seems exactly to define your moon-Mars opposition. Neptune in the mix tends to dissolve what it touches, so perhaps you have some ambivalence as to what your feelings really are, or how to express them.

I dunno, Melisa. To me, the way to express your feelings is just to express your feelings. And then just acknowledge that it doesn't mean that the people who receive your communications will behave differently because you do so. They might feel hurt, angry, or annoyed as much as they are likely to feel whatever you hope they will feel. You probably know this, and timidity about a potentially negative reaction is what holds you back. If you have something to say, say it; and then just prepare yourself to stay calm and determined through whatever happens next.

If you wish to work on your Mars nature, I always feel that some type of athletic activity or sport is a good way to strengthen your Mars muscles. I wonder if such a water-person would be happy working out in your local rec center swimming pool. Even if you don't swim a stroke, they will probably have an aquatic exercise class designed for non-swimmers. If you do not have a regular fitness program now, see whether developing one strengthens your self-confidence.
 

melisa

Well-known member
Hi
Thank you Innayat--who wrote
With Leo Rising and Cancer Sun I cannot imagine why you wouldn't already be assertive enough.
--------Yes I would like to harness the strengths of those 2 signs to be more assertive. Your suggestion about the coming up with golas is a good one!

Waybread wrote---
Being "Assertive" about your "Feelings" seems exactly to define your moon-Mars opposition. Neptune in the mix tends to dissolve what it touches, so perhaps you have some ambivalence as to what your feelings really are, or how to express them.

---IN answer to your first question,, yes I am psychic! Yes, I agree that the Moon and Nept oppose Mars sets the stage for non-assertiveness.....I believe I might use that to flip it around---instead of letting the Moon and Neptune soften my assertiveness, or let psychological issues and fear pull me back from assertiveness, I can go ahead and be assertive (as you suggested) and use the Moon and Neptune to say it tactfully...what I do now is usually hold it in and later blow up and talk too bluntly! Yes I do physical exercise---I need to brace myself to be brave enough to speak assertively without fearing their response so much........
I also see that Mars is trine Pluto and Saturn----it's in the 9th house which is ruled by Aries---it's also the cutting planet of a locomotive chart (learned that from greybeard this week!)---so to me that sounds like a strong placement. Though Mars is in Taurus, it sits in the house ruled by Aries---so it may be a question of harnessing my Mercury to actually speak up.....my Merc is in Leo which is strong, yet is in the 12th, and its only aspect is square Neptune-----fear and lack of action again!
Thanks for the good suggestions!
Melisa
 

Nadineday

Well-known member
I glanced at your chart, and my first intuition in regards to advice for your dilemma of asserting yourself lies in :mercury:. OK, so your ruling planet :sun: is in nurturing :cancer: in the house of "friends". :mercury: in the position of :leo: (barely) seems to be hidden from your awareness in the 12th. So your voice is unheard. I assume it may be because you struggle with a specific direction to follow when you need to assert yourself. Kinda like no standing ground. I would suggest you draw on the strengths of your :sun: and conjure up some pride regarding your above average loving ability with your friends. This is your backing, in other words your right to boast. Don't get me wrong I am not implying that you become arrogant which would seem difficult anyway if you struggle with assertiveness. I am suggesting you tap into this energy in order to speak out boldly because you have earned it through the integrity you practice.
For example, You may need to assert yourself in an area irrelevant of friendship or the 11th house area of concern, perhaps a business conflict and you are unable to communicate your boundaries, what you can do is remember your integrity and ride out on it. It's like picturing the audience naked while publicly speaking, a tactic.
 
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