Why is he so secretive??

LunarPisces

Member
Hi everyone,

I'm very new to this site and would like some help in regards to my partner. I have recently posted a thread in horary about cheating.

I'm in a gay relationship - together for 10 years. My partner goes through these phases of withdrawal, acting weird and being extremely secretive. I dont have too much knowledge of astrology but he is heavily Libra/Air and hence I thought that would indicate open communication. But alas i have been wrong. He regularly shuts himself off and does not communicate truth unless i drag it out of him with much effort. He dances around any direct questions i ask him and this is breaking my heart :-(

I am heavily water so i understand that i feel things deeply but i would like some help in at least understanding his innate nature. Why is he so guarded? It feels that there is something deceptive about him and i would like to know if there is any merit in this?

Thanks guys! I have attached both our natal charts :)
 

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sibylline

Well-known member
Ah, both of your charts are familiar to me. :)

I don't have a lot of time right now but you should probably look into his Pluto aspects (Sun conjunct Pluto and especially Merc conjunct Pluto) as well as Saturn in the 3rd as it relates to your issues.
 

LunarPisces

Member
Ah, both of your charts are familiar to me. :)

I don't have a lot of time right now but you should probably look into his Pluto aspects (Sun conjunct Pluto and especially Merc conjunct Pluto) as well as Saturn in the 3rd as it relates to your issues.

Thanks for replying sibylline! :)

Yes i will have look to mercury/pluto a little more. I guess that his conjunction aspect with those two planets operates very differently to my square? Maybe it is a more guarded configuration. As for saturn in the 3rd - he is actually very advanced mentally but in terms of actual expression it is either sarcastic or silent.

I will have to look deeper into sun conjunct pluto :unsure:
 

LunarPisces

Member
Sun conjunct Pluto is a supersexual aspect! Is he extremely attractive?

He is definitely attractive in a laid back kind of way :)

Interesting that it is supersexual...he has never really expressed this. It is not that he isn't interested in it..but he is not overly enthusiastic either. He is very laid back. I always thought that maybe a 5-6 orb made it less intense? Also he is always in his head (libra) so perhaps this energy is more intellectual?? Im not sure if the aspects always work through the signs or they still have their own manifestations.

This is very interesting!
 
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Animatrix

Well-known member
He is definitely attractive in a laid back kind of way :)

Interesting that it is supersexual...he has never really expressed this. It is not that he isn't interested in it..but he is not overly enthusiastic either. He is very laid back. I always thought that maybe a 5-6 orb made it less intense? Also he is always in his head (libra) so perhaps this energy is more intellectual?? Im not sure if the aspects always work through the signs or they still have their own manifestations.

This is very interesting!

Well Pluto aspects to the Sun man manifest either as powerful sexual energy, or if the individual is more "evolved" there is often authority to the personality. But Pluto has a tendency to make a person secretive and suspicious as well I Believe.
 

LunarPisces

Member
Well Pluto aspects to the Sun man manifest either as powerful sexual energy, or if the individual is more "evolved" there is often authority to the personality. But Pluto has a tendency to make a person secretive and suspicious as well I Believe.

Thanks Animatrix :)

It definitely makes sense! I need to explore that aspect more even though I've got the trine. The only thing i don't understand is apart from enjoying secrecy isnt it also about exposure - why does this plutonian aspect shy away from truth situations or discussions/confrontations?
 
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Animatrix

Well-known member
Thanks Animatrix :)

It definitely makes sense! I need to explore that aspect more even though I've got the trine. The only thing i don't understand is why does this plutonian aspect shy away from truth situations or discussions/confrontations?

Because he is afraid of being hurt/losing people. It is difficult to understand if you are a direct and straight forward people, but not all are like that. I myself Always play games, but I do it unintentionally, it is natural to me. I cannot be frank and direct.

That could be a possibility. I am a very secretive, indirect and dishonest person in love.
 
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LunarPisces

Member
Because he is afraid of being hurt/losing people. It is difficult to understand if you are a direct and straight forward people, but not all are like that. I myself Always play games, but I do it unintentionally, it is natural to me. I cannot be frank and direct.

That could be a possibility. I am a very secretive, indirect and dishonest person in love and my old love never thought I loved him. Yet I did! And I loved him deeply, so deeply.

Thank you - this is what i needed. I never thought to look at it like that. If this is his nature than i must accept it for what it is :)
There is no point in trying to expose pluto. I guess pluto's hidden energy is not always a 'bad' thing - which is how it comes across when the other person in this case me can't get into what is going on inside.
I just wanted to make sure i wan't missing anything.
This has just clicked with me - thank you :)
 

Animatrix

Well-known member
Thank you - this is what i needed. I never thought to look at it like that. If this is his nature than i must accept it for what it is :)
There is no point in trying to expose pluto. I guess pluto's hidden energy is not always a 'bad' thing - which is how it comes across when the other person in this case me can't get into what is going on inside.
I just wanted to make sure i wan't missing anything.
This has just clicked with me - thank you :)

No problem! My step father had sun conjunct pluto. He was extremely secretive, but also extremely loving. He rarely showed affection, but when he did, he was the best in the World. the kid's idol!

Good luck with your relationship!
 

LunarPisces

Member
No problem! My step father had sun conjunct pluto. He was extremely secretive, but also extremely loving. He rarely showed affection, but when he did, he was the best in the World. the kid's idol!

Good luck with your relationship!

Thanks!
& I'm sure your old love knows deep deep inside how much you did love :love:
 

sibylline

Well-known member
Thanks for replying sibylline! :)

Yes i will have look to mercury/pluto a little more. I guess that his conjunction aspect with those two planets operates very differently to my square? Maybe it is a more guarded configuration. As for saturn in the 3rd - he is actually very advanced mentally but in terms of actual expression it is either sarcastic or silent.

I will have to look deeper into sun conjunct pluto :unsure:

I wasn't pointing to the Saturn in reference to intelligence but because any planet in the 3rd affects the mindset, it is always important to look at. Saturn here suggests a person which is more grave, serious, and disinclined to speak freely and without filter. At times they can become pessimistic and gloomy in outlook, especially under transit or if the rest of the chart doesn't provide "lift". This is reinforced by the close Merc/Pluto conjunction which believes words are power and the less someone knows the better.

I have the square also and it does manifest differently from the conjunction. It can be secretive but depending on the general slant of the chart will be open when it feels secure with a person or situation. It manifests more as internal tension -- very obsessive/unable to leave a thought alone, one-sided in view, and at times seeing more than what is there.
 

LunarPisces

Member
I wasn't pointing to the Saturn in reference to intelligence but because any planet in the 3rd affects the mindset, it is always important to look at. Saturn here suggests a person which is more grave, serious, and disinclined to speak freely and without filter. At times they can become pessimistic and gloomy in outlook, especially under transit or if the rest of the chart doesn't provide "lift". This is reinforced by the close Merc/Pluto conjunction which believes words are power and the less someone knows the better.

I have the square also and it does manifest differently from the conjunction. It can be secretive but depending on the general slant of the chart will be open when it feels secure with a person or situation. It manifests more as internal tension -- very obsessive/unable to leave a thought alone, one-sided in view, and at times seeing more than what is there.
Thanks sibylline! That makes so much sense :) I've learned quite a bit via this thread in regards to his nature as well as mine. I'm very thankful:)
 
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