What's your personal take on retrogrades btw? I have my own that makes sense to me, but people seem to have such a variety of takes on what the effect of retrograde motion is on the energy of planets
What do you mean by flamboyant Mercury? It's interesting you think it's also a good Mercury. It seems it's afflicted and the results of those retrogrades can be variable
Oh god writing. Yeah. I know that's my path, but I've encountered so many roadblocks, none to do with creativity or anything, that it almost hurts to read that sentence lol. Especially as of late. But yes, that is my path, my ambition, not what I believe myself to be. I'm still getting my blog started and getting into a groove with it
What do I mean by flamboyant Mercury? It's colourful, exuberant, creative, vibrant, energetic and "intense". I know you like to attribute a lot of your mental characteristics to having Pluto in your 3rd, but I think that placement is not the main engine behind your idiosyncratic expression.
"Good" is too vague and simplistic a word to describe what I mean - and the state of your Mercury is anything but one-dimensional . The words prolific and loud capture better my meaning. It's a highly expressive and powerful Mercury. It will have a pervasive presence in your life - I feel this is stating the obvious.
My view of retrograde planets is that they are mixture of idiosyncratic, and internalized energies. The Vedics view them as stronger because they are actually closer to the Earth when they are in retrograde motion, thus having a greater energetic stamp on the natives born at that time. I don't have any retrogrades myself so I don't have any personal experience with the energetic pattern.
Which is another interesting thing that is apparent with your Merc - not only is it retrograde, and it also connected with the three outers, which are all retrograde as well. So not only is your Mercury idiosyncratic and interior, but the energies that signify as a class those elements of the human experience that fall beyond order and boundary are all internalized, idiosyncratically handled and find themselves manifesting mostly through your Mercury - yes, I agree that your Mercury is afflicted and we've seen how that has manifested through the various issues you've had surrounding depression, your mental disorders, drug abuse and so on. Being so constantly bombarded by those destabilizing energies might have had the effect of permanently scarring you and "opening you up" - you have no choice but to take part in those deeper psychological and spiritual processes because you don't have the "luxury" of developing a Saturnian membrane that allows you to file away all the chaotic, ungovernable messiness that lies beyond the barrier of societal order and "normalcy".
Chiron in 12th might actually be a mirror to this - a wound that lies within the depth of the unconscious. An opening to the "nether realm" that will never heal.
And then your Mercury is in the sign of Cancer - a watery sign. The most difficult element to direct since it deals with the emotions and intuitions. Even in the tradition since Phlegmatics were seen as the least likely to have worldly success since they were so ruled by their desire nature and lacked the discipline to keep on a track long enough to completion.
Then, your Mercury is close to a powerful fixed star - Sirius, the dogstar.
http://www.constellationsofwords.com/stars/Sirius.html
All of this and your Moon/Mars on the AC wasn't even added yet in regard to its connection to your Mercury.
The thing to bare in mind is that your Mercury is not merely another planet in your chart - but your ascendant ruler. So this goes much deeper than just how your mind works, but in fact how your personality structure is constituted.
And there was no need to bring in the 12th house, 8th house or Scorpio into the mix. It's all right there in the chart - it's just not the instant ramen style that is dominant on the web.
It's a complex Mercury, and it rules your ascendant. It's safe to say that you're a complex person.