Hm. You seem to be guilty of something called ageism: you develop negative stereotypes about older women and positive ones about younger. Yet, you say you're young at heart: you need to make up your mind whether it is physical age that matters or "at heart" age, as you are currently applying a double standard. You also developed an idea about yourself (that you're inhibited or so), which you are now trying to run like hell from...and looking for someone to help you in that escapism. Maybe you should just let go of these conceptions and fears and open up to the world and all it has to offer, if that is possible for you.