Loneliness

Hello,
I would like to know if there is something in the chart that suggests I am not really made up for relationships? Maybe I am one of those people who has different purpose for life? My thinking is not exactly the same as most of the people have but that makes me quite alone even between my old friends. Or maybe I am just unlucky with my choices?
Thank You for Your time!

Edimaza said:

Hello,
I would like to know if there is something in the chart that suggests I am not really made up for relationships? Maybe I am one of those people who has different purpose for life? My thinking is not exactly the same as most of the people have but that makes me quite alone even between my old friends. Or maybe I am just unlucky with my choices?
Thank You for Your time!

Click to expand...

Hey sorry to hear about your loneliness. I can't say much with authority because I'm inexperienced, but your chart is certainly interesting what with all your planets located on the eastern (left) side. Your moon is at home in cancer, and it's in the 10th house, angular and prominent, so I would guess your emotions are very much on display and visible around your friends & others. I suppose that could cause some tension if you think differently from the group. I see Chiron is the only guy listed that's retrograde... significant but not sure how.

You also have a loaded 1st house with mercury, saturn, and pluto in libra. I've read that 1st house planets can heavily affect your ascendant and how you express yourself. I also see these planets are squared to your moon, so perhaps these aspects cause inner tension between your emotions and how you present & communicate yourself to others.

How outgoing do you consider yourself & do you have any social outlets where you are able to mingle with people on a regular basis??

I'd also add that socializing is like the brain as a whole or any muscle in the body. You use it or it weakens. Not socializing frequently can make a lot of people lonely. I think it's an important part of life, but friendship can be fickle because it's hard to find true friends you can lean on & enjoy in bad or good times. Same as a lasting love.

It takes effort all the same as anything in life worth gaining usually requires.

Your 7th house of relationship is ruled by Mars. Mars is conjunct Uranus the planet of instability and unpredictability. You also have Venus, the natural ruler of love/relationships square Uranus. Internally and perhaps unconsciously, you like what is not available to you. This could be liking someone who lives far away, they are not very interested in you, married, or off limits in some way or another. Typically, there is usually some sort of imbalance between you and your romantic partners or the imbalance develops very quickly so your needs are never getting met. In addition, you have Saturn conjunct your Mercury and square your Moon, you can be prone to depression and pessimistic thoughts. Your best bet with dating, do not jump into a relationship right away. One issue with the aspects I mentioned, Uranus has a tendency to push a relationship to develop quickly and then suddenly it falls apart just as quickly and you don't really understand why. Date a man as a friend for a few months, in fact, you will want to have a few men you are dating at the same time as it will take pressure off the main guy you are interested in. Trust me, I have dealt with this same dynamic in my own chart and it's very discouraging to be hopeful about someone and have it unravel right before your eyes. I have learned my lesson much later in life that you have so change your dating style. Also, try and give the guy who is not your type a chance....again develop a friendship so there isn't pressure. You are programmed to like men who are not going to be good for you. Also, right now you have Transiting Uranus moving through your 7th house too, this doesn't help the stability factor within your relationships although it could have brought some exciting men to you life, they can leave just as suddenly. The good news is that it will eventually move out of your 7th house. Last word, even with difficult natal aspects like Uranus to your 7th house ruler, it doesn't mean you can't have a loving relationship and many people do, but keep in mind you have your own need for freedom within the relationship as well. Try to come to terms with this so you don't project it onto your partners.

Edimaza said:

Hello,
I would like to know if there is something in the chart that suggests I am not really made up for relationships? Maybe I am one of those people who has different purpose for life? My thinking is not exactly the same as most of the people have but that makes me quite alone even between my old friends. Or maybe I am just unlucky with my choices?
Thank You for Your time!

Click to expand...

Isn't the real issue that you suffer from low self-esteem and that your feelings are very easily hurt?

You have such a strong moon (emotional nature) in its own sign in Cancer in the highly visible 10th house. But it is squared by Pluto and Saturn, so you may come across to others as very moody. Do you get into dark moods frequently? Possibly it is hard for you to project a light-hearted friendliness, even when you would love to do so.

With Mercury (thinking) square your moon, your thoughts may be highly coloured by your emotions.

Neptune is the planet of illusion, escapism, and disillusionment. It tends to erase what it touches. You have Neptune square your sun (identity). This can make it hard for you to develop a robust sense of self-confidence, because it is hard to know who you really are. Just when you think you've established a firm sense of self, Neptune's tides wash it out to sea. This aspect is reinforced by your sun in the 12th house "of self-undoing." (With Neptune square sun, be careful of drugs and alcohol because you are probably very sensitive to them. Better to have a more constructive form of escapism, such as through film or the arts!)

In what way do you believe your thoughts to be different from other people?

There is no reason why you can't have a solid relationship: usually it is just a question of finding the right person.

As Vista noted, Mars rules your 7th house of enduring relationships. Conjunct Uranus, it may give your relationships sudden beginnings and endings. But your Mars makes a nice trine to your moon, and a happy sextile to your sun. Mars indicates your assertiveness and natural aggression, and it rules athletes. So one way to lighten up your mood and perhaps meet someone would be to get involved in some sort of fitness or athletic activity. Are you doing anything for fitness right now? People who exercise a lot report stronger feelings of self-confidence.

With Uranus in the mix, try to introduce more new and unexpected things into your life-- do something out of character! You may surprise yourself.

With your moon in Cancer, you really need to give and receive affection from other people. In the 10th house, your moon suggests being a good friend and mentor to people in your career. Otherwise, the Crab is apt to retreat into its shell and snap its claws occasionally-- but it won't be happy in this state.

Each day, try to do something nice for yourself, just because you deserve it.

There is nothing wrong with being a late-bloomer in the relationship department!

Blacknight said:

Hey sorry to hear about your loneliness. I can't say much with authority because I'm inexperienced, but your chart is certainly interesting what with all your planets located on the eastern (left) side. Your moon is at home in cancer, and it's in the 10th house, angular and prominent, so I would guess your emotions are very much on display and visible around your friends & others. I suppose that could cause some tension if you think differently from the group. I see Chiron is the only guy listed that's retrograde... significant but not sure how.

You also have a loaded 1st house with mercury, saturn, and pluto in libra. I've read that 1st house planets can heavily affect your ascendant and how you express yourself. I also see these planets are squared to your moon, so perhaps these aspects cause inner tension between your emotions and how you present & communicate yourself to others.

How outgoing do you consider yourself & do you have any social outlets where you are able to mingle with people on a regular basis??

I'd also add that socializing is like the brain as a whole or any muscle in the body. You use it or it weakens. Not socializing frequently can make a lot of people lonely. I think it's an important part of life, but friendship can be fickle because it's hard to find true friends you can lean on & enjoy in bad or good times. Same as a lasting love.

It takes effort all the same as anything in life worth gaining usually requires.

Click to expand...

Thank You so much for Your insights on my chart It is very true that my face is the mirror of my thoughts. Some people can hide it but I have trouble with this. My boyfriend used to say that the anger makes my face really ugly and even if I try I can't really hide it... Also I guess my problem with friends is that I say always what I think and never lie. I find that many people has many fears and they like to hear only what pleases them. In this way I lost some relations... Maybe it is the sun in 12th house which makes misunderstandings? Generally, I never had problems with friends. As many I loose as many I get. Sadly, many relations end in a bad way.

Thank You so much for Your insights! It is very accurate and true. Most of my relations started with the guys from the other countries. Seems like I prefer this kind of relation because it gives me a sense of freedom. If I start a relations it usually gets the worst in me. While we are not dating I am fun and understanding but... after it gets more serious I become just a different person. It just all gets out from my hands.
At this moment I am still trying to make myself together after a real bad relations. The man was really my type: highly spiritual and intellectual but sadly only in theory... Strangely we broke up after I saw the reality about him and it happened exactly when Uranus transited 7th house. So at the moment i am a bit afraid to start something. Some time ago one astrologer told me that I will get something real only after age 36... I am just sometimes scared if I will be able to find a man who can fit with me.
Thank You for your suggestions. I think that maybe I do jump into serious relations to fast and I would feel better if I first try to be friends. This was exactly what I started to think about some days ago

Vista said:

Your 7th house of relationship is ruled by Mars. Mars is conjunct Uranus the planet of instability and unpredictability. You also have Venus, the natural ruler of love/relationships square Uranus. Internally and perhaps unconsciously, you like what is not available to you. This could be liking someone who lives far away, they are not very interested in you, married, or off limits in some way or another. Typically, there is usually some sort of imbalance between you and your romantic partners or the imbalance develops very quickly so your needs are never getting met. In addition, you have Saturn conjunct your Mercury and square your Moon, you can be prone to depression and pessimistic thoughts. Your best bet with dating, do not jump into a relationship right away. One issue with the aspects I mentioned, Uranus has a tendency to push a relationship to develop quickly and then suddenly it falls apart just as quickly and you don't really understand why. Date a man as a friend for a few months, in fact, you will want to have a few men you are dating at the same time as it will take pressure off the main guy you are interested in. Trust me, I have dealt with this same dynamic in my own chart and it's very discouraging to be hopeful about someone and have it unravel right before your eyes. I have learned my lesson much later in life that you have so change your dating style. Also, try and give the guy who is not your type a chance....again develop a friendship so there isn't pressure. You are programmed to like men who are not going to be good for you. Also, right now you have Transiting Uranus moving through your 7th house too, this doesn't help the stability factor within your relationships although it could have brought some exciting men to you life, they can leave just as suddenly. The good news is that it will eventually move out of your 7th house. Last word, even with difficult natal aspects like Uranus to your 7th house ruler, it doesn't mean you can't have a loving relationship and many people do, but keep in mind you have your own need for freedom within the relationship as well. Try to come to terms with this so you don't project it onto your partners.

Click to expand...

Waybread, it is the true that I really have low self - esteem and I try to work on it. I go slowly and it's hard on me but I still make some steps. I try now to learn how not to take everything so personal. I usually feel too hurt after my friends or boyfriend leaves me and says negative things. Maybe that's way in the last period (after a loss of my good friend) I try not to let anyone close. I know it is not correct because we must love everyone but just sometimes I am not sure if I can take it more. Still if I meet my old friends I feel bored because we can't have a real conversation about things it matters to me. Like: conspiracy theories, politics, economics, global enslavement, money, spirituality. I can't even talk about Osho because ones started to speak about his book they said they don't read love stories. I find an understanding in a Raw food community but I only like their ideas about energy and I am not so extreem as them...
I am very moody all the time. It's like an elevator I can't control. Also I have periods of depression when I go out from society and stay only with myself. Which makes thing really bad. After last period of depression I gained 20 kg. which now I can't loose even with exercising. I do think it's also because of the disbalance in my head but I am not sure how to cure it yet...
I do some biking now. Me and my sister we make about 20 km per day. I used to go for jogging I can't do now as I hurt my knees. It is very important for me to do sports as it really changes my mood a lot but...sometimes I just get drifted away. Feel to tired and just give a way. I have problem with alcohol as I like to get lost in it to often. I use only beer or wine nothing stronger but I like the feel of it.
I also have an extremely powerful imagination. It could be a talent I guess but I just don;t know how to use it. My boyfriend were always complaining I live in a different dimension. I usually like to disappear in it...Many times my imagination works against me...I hope someday I will get the control of it.
Sometimes I think that maybe the purpose of my life is to fix all these things. Most possible way to do is without a family. I don;t even think I would be able to make a "normal" family. It's just now that I am learning to take it as an advantage as most of my time I wanted to want "normal" things. I always cry for stability but just after I get it or I have an opportunity of it something happen. I get a job in my country (which was what I studied) and after 2 months they fired me...but even before they did it I already had the feeling of wrong, the fear of not traveling and at the same time after I lost a job I started to cry that stability is my wish...
I am sorry for this long post which even has not so much with an astrology. In some way I guess I just wish to know that this period will go away and I will be able to find the man who will be worth me and friends who will be close to me and with same attitude. I know sometimes I am a bit paranoic with all the conspiracy and thoughts about the WW3 and the riots but who can be calm in these days?

waybread said:

Isn't the real issue that you suffer from low self-esteem and that your feelings are very easily hurt?

You have such a strong moon (emotional nature) in its own sign in Cancer in the highly visible 10th house. But it is squared by Pluto and Saturn, so you may come across to others as very moody. Do you get into dark moods frequently? Possibly it is hard for you to project a light-hearted friendliness, even when you would love to do so.

With Mercury (thinking) square your moon, your thoughts may be highly coloured by your emotions.

Neptune is the planet of illusion, escapism, and disillusionment. It tends to erase what it touches. You have Neptune square your sun (identity). This can make it hard for you to develop a robust sense of self-confidence, because it is hard to know who you really are. Just when you think you've established a firm sense of self, Neptune's tides wash it out to sea. This aspect is reinforced by your sun in the 12th house "of self-undoing." (With Neptune square sun, be careful of drugs and alcohol because you are probably very sensitive to them. Better to have a more constructive form of escapism, such as through film or the arts!)

In what way do you believe your thoughts to be different from other people?

There is no reason why you can't have a solid relationship: usually it is just a question of finding the right person.

As Vista noted, Mars rules your 7th house of enduring relationships. Conjunct Uranus, it may give your relationships sudden beginnings and endings. But your Mars makes a nice trine to your moon, and a happy sextile to your sun. Mars indicates your assertiveness and natural aggression, and it rules athletes. So one way to lighten up your mood and perhaps meet someone would be to get involved in some sort of fitness or athletic activity. Are you doing anything for fitness right now? People who exercise a lot report stronger feelings of self-confidence.

With Uranus in the mix, try to introduce more new and unexpected things into your life-- do something out of character! You may surprise yourself.

With your moon in Cancer, you really need to give and receive affection from other people. In the 10th house, your moon suggests being a good friend and mentor to people in your career. Otherwise, the Crab is apt to retreat into its shell and snap its claws occasionally-- but it won't be happy in this state.

Each day, try to do something nice for yourself, just because you deserve it.

There is nothing wrong with being a late-bloomer in the relationship department!

Click to expand...

Thanks for the feedback. With your north node in your 10th house of career and public image, your growth should come from focusing on these areas, and getting beyond your comfort zone. What would you like to be known for, in terms of your contribution in life?

We have a couple of friends who are deeply into conspiracy theories, and it is a passion with them. I suspect you could find some on-line forums and blogs where you will have many people eager to discuss them with you, if you've not done this already.

Your Mars is strong in your chart, as the traditional ruler of its own sign of Scorpio. It makes a nice trine to your powerful moon. I think that anything you can do to strenthen your Mars-- be it through fitness or perhaps simply debating with people on a conspiracy theory forum-- should be helpful. With Uranus in the mix, maybe try the latest exercise equipment at your local gym. Then see if you can convert that bothersome Neptune into a healthy spirituality or engagement with the arts-- maybe just sketching or keeping a journal or creative writing-- just for yourself.

The universe notices when you take small steps towards empowering yourself.

Edimaza said:

Thank You so much for Your insights on my chart It is very true that my face is the mirror of my thoughts. Some people can hide it but I have trouble with this. My boyfriend used to say that the anger makes my face really ugly and even if I try I can't really hide it... Also I guess my problem with friends is that I say always what I think and never lie. I find that many people has many fears and they like to hear only what pleases them. In this way I lost some relations... Maybe it is the sun in 12th house which makes misunderstandings? Generally, I never had problems with friends. As many I loose as many I get. Sadly, many relations end in a bad way.

Click to expand...

It's my pleasure. Waybread & Vista gave really good advice (better than I can interpret ) and I hope you can use it to for personal growth. We all got our ups & downs. Also exercise is really good if you're feeling down. It pumps endorphans into the brain. You should definitely study up on diet, because it has a major impact on how you feel mentally & physically, and a good healthy & consistent diet is key to feeling even keel.

I hope you feel better!!