Modcleopatra
Banned
Hello all,
I am survivor of childhood incest and sexual abuse. I was under the age of five the first time it happened, and just recently recalled the abuse December of this past year. For the longest time, I had this nagging feeling inside of me before I could remember it, pulling and tugging at me this way and that way and desperately trying to remember what happened to me. It wasn't conscious, but deeply buried, and then one day in the therapist's office, I recalled it. It was like my whole life I have been living in the shadow of this, first trying to understand what it was, then trying understand what it had done to me, understanding what it had done to me and then trying to figure out who it was that had done it, you get the picture. And then, when finally having all of the pieces in place, all of the character's replaying their parts as loudly as they could, it dawned on me. Only once prior had it ever been suggested that I was a survivor of sexual abuse.
I have since been on the most intense healing experience that I don't think any the possible "mes" in past lives could have ever dreamed of. I feel extremely powerful but also extremely ragged. I have also realized there is nothing I can be this lifetime but the person I've always wanted to be. I know this must have a lot to do with the strongly placed Neptune and Pluto, as well as a desirable Mars placement, of which is only indirectly affected by the state of the Sun in my chart, a Sun which will heal greatly as well in my lifetime.
What I'm curious about is this: Will I resurface any more memories of abuse, or will this Pluto transit now simply activate my Neptune in Capricorn and send me off to the life I've dreamed of? Does this Pluto transit promise the kind of healing that will pull my fractured Moon back together? Will I find my true self, or will I continue to struggle with my North Node as much as I do? Does my chart promise healing or is my chiron/virgo relationship too damaged as well?
Here is my natal chart with current transits:
http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?cid=3wbfilefgrr1L-u1108330500&lang=e&gm=a1&nhor=860505&nho2=9936630&btyp=24&mth=gw&sday=11&smon=10&syr=2008&hsy=-1&zod=&orbp=&rs=0&ano=1&ast=
thank-you for time guys. I just want to know if I will ever heal enough to the point that I can solve my deep inferior complex?
Mod!
I am survivor of childhood incest and sexual abuse. I was under the age of five the first time it happened, and just recently recalled the abuse December of this past year. For the longest time, I had this nagging feeling inside of me before I could remember it, pulling and tugging at me this way and that way and desperately trying to remember what happened to me. It wasn't conscious, but deeply buried, and then one day in the therapist's office, I recalled it. It was like my whole life I have been living in the shadow of this, first trying to understand what it was, then trying understand what it had done to me, understanding what it had done to me and then trying to figure out who it was that had done it, you get the picture. And then, when finally having all of the pieces in place, all of the character's replaying their parts as loudly as they could, it dawned on me. Only once prior had it ever been suggested that I was a survivor of sexual abuse.
I have since been on the most intense healing experience that I don't think any the possible "mes" in past lives could have ever dreamed of. I feel extremely powerful but also extremely ragged. I have also realized there is nothing I can be this lifetime but the person I've always wanted to be. I know this must have a lot to do with the strongly placed Neptune and Pluto, as well as a desirable Mars placement, of which is only indirectly affected by the state of the Sun in my chart, a Sun which will heal greatly as well in my lifetime.
What I'm curious about is this: Will I resurface any more memories of abuse, or will this Pluto transit now simply activate my Neptune in Capricorn and send me off to the life I've dreamed of? Does this Pluto transit promise the kind of healing that will pull my fractured Moon back together? Will I find my true self, or will I continue to struggle with my North Node as much as I do? Does my chart promise healing or is my chiron/virgo relationship too damaged as well?
Here is my natal chart with current transits:
http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?cid=3wbfilefgrr1L-u1108330500&lang=e&gm=a1&nhor=860505&nho2=9936630&btyp=24&mth=gw&sday=11&smon=10&syr=2008&hsy=-1&zod=&orbp=&rs=0&ano=1&ast=
thank-you for time guys. I just want to know if I will ever heal enough to the point that I can solve my deep inferior complex?
Mod!
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