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  #1  
Unread 10-05-2019, 08:18 AM
xyclomatic xyclomatic is offline
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Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

Hi guys, for the past several months I've been feeling more depressed than usual, and had even contemplated suicide a few times... but of course, I could never act out on those negative thoughts. Even when things go fine, there's always that underlying feeling of sadness, loneliness, and isolation.

In terms of my social life (or lack thereof) I noticed how people often ignore me despite my efforts in trying to initiate conversation. Also, I find it bizarre how I'll tend to get overlooked when I'm part of a group of people. Like... It. Happens. Most. Of. The. Freaking. Time. In fact, it happened so often that I'm starting to think that I'm "cursed" in social situations as it always been a recurring cycle. I took a closer look at my chart and found out the ruler of my 12th is in my 11th house of friends, so perhaps that partially has something to do with it?


If not that, then maybe it's the current transits that are to blame, but I'm not sure. Can you guys help me out? Thanks.


Below is an attachment of my Natal Chart with transits:
Attached Images
File Type: jpg natalandtransit.jpg (55.5 KB, 37 views)


Last edited by xyclomatic; 10-05-2019 at 08:21 AM.
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  #2  
Unread 10-05-2019, 04:13 PM
Blue Lioness Blue Lioness is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

dear xyclomatic,
I don't know if the ruler of 12th being in your 11th is the reason for all this. however, your chart shows me a very lovely and fun person with your sun in the 11th, venus in 10th and also moon in aries. I know how being friends with someone can be hard (and I have a lot of leo, cancer and aries myself and also depression), but please do not give up. there are special people who want to meet you <3
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  #3  
Unread 10-05-2019, 05:05 PM
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wilsontc wilsontc is offline
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Pluto square Sun, to xyclomatic

xyclomatic,

You said:
Quote:
Originally Posted by xyclomatic View Post
...In terms of my social life (or lack thereof) I noticed how people often ignore me despite my efforts in trying to initiate conversation. Also, I find it bizarre how I'll tend to get overlooked when I'm part of a group of people. Like... It. Happens. Most. Of. The. Freaking. Time....
You have Leo (ego) modifying Sun in the Friends house, so you VERY much want to be recognized and even admired when in social situations. Pluto (power, also transformation) is square (energy needs to be combined with) as well, so you push on others this need to be recognized. As a result, people can get a "vibe" that you are MUCH too intense for them. The goal is to TRANSFORM your behavior, putting yourself in uncomfortable social situations and allowing yourself to pay attention to OTHERS and try listening to what they have to say. With Mercury (thinking) in the Friends house as well, you are VERY aware of others and could be very responsive to their interests...if you let yourself. More about Pluto square Sun here:
https://astrologyking.com/sun-square-pluto/

Transformatively,

Tim
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  #4  
Unread 10-05-2019, 07:54 PM
Hkk Hkk is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

I agree with both Wilsontc and Blue lioness.

I have Leo in 11th house with my North Node there. While being on this site I have been shown the opposition from 8th Chiron to 11th which explained why so-called friends turned on me and were no longer really friends. Well, they were never friends in the first place. I have had this cycle go on and on.

But I know how special I am and my lovely you are special more than you realise so don't give up.

I realised that I tried to hard as I was aware of the 'social situation'. It's a Leo thing. We crave it. I have a Leo moon so I'm very emotional about it. Anyway, I stopped trying, started to be my true self and now socially it is easy and I think and feel I'm the star of the show. It didn't come naturally but you gotta fake it till you make it. C'mon your a LEO be the star you are out here on earth to be!

Your chart is amazing. Venus in 10th - what i would love to have that!!, Aries moon, Mars in Virgo - your a fighter!

You will overcome this. I have felt like you but over other things and now I'm 'out of it' and overcome the **** that I had to deal with I'm so grateful to myself for not giving up. Life has its ups and downs and we just gotta smile and say eff you I'm gonna carry on and your life can't do ****. Knock me down I'm right back up. But believe me when I say you will overcome this and you will have fun and amazing times. Trust me, please.

Do small things that make you happy. YOU being the operative word here. Do one small thing every day that makes you happy and do something different each day however small.

Have fun
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  #5  
Unread 10-06-2019, 03:39 AM
xyclomatic xyclomatic is offline
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Re: Pluto square Sun, to xyclomatic

Quote:
Originally Posted by wilsontc View Post
xyclomatic,

You said:


You have Leo (ego) modifying Sun in the Friends house, so you VERY much want to be recognized and even admired when in social situations. Pluto (power, also transformation) is square (energy needs to be combined with) as well, so you push on others this need to be recognized. As a result, people can get a "vibe" that you are MUCH too intense for them. The goal is to TRANSFORM your behavior, putting yourself in uncomfortable social situations and allowing yourself to pay attention to OTHERS and try listening to what they have to say. With Mercury (thinking) in the Friends house as well, you are VERY aware of others and could be very responsive to their interests...if you let yourself. More about Pluto square Sun here:
https://astrologyking.com/sun-square-pluto/

Transformatively,

Tim

Hello Wilson,

I appreciate your analysis very much.

However, even if I were to stay quiet (like I usually do) and patiently wait for others to approach me... they often don't because somehow I come off as weird, unwelcoming, or a bit off-putting to them. Like, I could tell from their facial expressions. I know for a fact some of them don't feel comfortable around me.

For real, I don't know what it IS about me that rubs others the wrong way, but again like you said it could be the making me come off intimidating? Seriously tho, I'm just awfully confused. Am I really that intense? How come I don't feel it, but others can?

Besides... it's not like I dress weird or anything. I look very physically normal, wear casual but flattering clothes, and I put a lot of maintenance on my hair (must be my Virgo Rising's perfectionism ).

.

Last edited by xyclomatic; 10-06-2019 at 03:51 AM.
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  #6  
Unread 10-06-2019, 02:07 PM
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wilsontc wilsontc is offline
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Mercury opposite Neptune, to xyclomatic

xyclomatic,

You said:
Quote:
Originally Posted by xyclomatic View Post
...they often don't because somehow I come off as weird, unwelcoming, or a bit off-putting to them. Like, I could tell from their facial expressions. I know for a fact some of them don't feel comfortable around me...I'm just awfully confused...How come I don't feel it, but others can?
You aren't psychic. You don't KNOW what other people are thinking. Instead, your problem is the opposite: you THINK you know what other people are thinking, but are often wrong about it. This is indicated by your Mercury (thinking) opposite (energy is over-excited by) Neptune (fantasy). You make up stories in your head that match the disdain you have for yourself and imagine that everyone else shares in it as well. Not everyone can be your friend, but you CAN be friendly to people. What THEY do is up to THEM. You make effort (as Buddhists say) and see what happens. Not GUESS at what you THINK will happen, but actually see what ACTUALLY happens.

You have quite a few red lines (stresses) in your chart, so you know your life will have challenges in it. Facing up to those challenges and working with them will go far in helping you develop your life into the life you want it to be. As the old saying goes: from pressure comes diamonds.

More about Mercury opposite Neptune here:
https://astrologyking.com/mercury-opposite-neptune/

Really Really,

Tim
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  #7  
Unread 10-07-2019, 02:11 AM
xyclomatic xyclomatic is offline
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Re: Mercury opposite Neptune, to xyclomatic

Quote:
Originally Posted by wilsontc View Post
xyclomatic,

You said:


You aren't psychic. You don't KNOW what other people are thinking. Instead, your problem is the opposite: you THINK you know what other people are thinking, but are often wrong about it. This is indicated by your Mercury (thinking) opposite (energy is over-excited by) Neptune (fantasy). You make up stories in your head that match the disdain you have for yourself and imagine that everyone else shares in it as well. Not everyone can be your friend, but you CAN be friendly to people. What THEY do is up to THEM. You make effort (as Buddhists say) and see what happens. Not GUESS at what you THINK will happen, but actually see what ACTUALLY happens.

You have quite a few red lines (stresses) in your chart, so you know your life will have challenges in it. Facing up to those challenges and working with them will go far in helping you develop your life into the life you want it to be. As the old saying goes: from pressure comes diamonds.

More about Mercury opposite Neptune here:
https://astrologyking.com/mercury-opposite-neptune/

Really Really,

Tim
Why should I be friendly to people who don't deserve my kindness? Sorry, but I'd rather not. In the past I used to be very friendly to random strangers, but often I noticed they would act rude or super cold. That's how I learned not to give out my kindness to undeserving people. Cuz... F those idiots.

Because guess what? I'm not obligated to be their "friend", either. Whatever I do is up to ME. Sorry, but it goes both ways whether you like it or not, lol.

.

Last edited by xyclomatic; 10-07-2019 at 02:18 AM.
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  #8  
Unread 10-07-2019, 08:58 AM
greybeard greybeard is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hkk View Post
I agree with both Wilsontc and Blue lioness.

I have Leo in 11th house with my North Node there. While being on this site I have been shown the opposition from 8th Chiron to 11th which explained why so-called friends turned on me and were no longer really friends. Well, they were never friends in the first place. I have had this cycle go on and on.

But I know how special I am and my lovely you are special more than you realise so don't give up.

I realised that I tried to hard as I was aware of the 'social situation'. It's a Leo thing. We crave it. I have a Leo moon so I'm very emotional about it. Anyway, I stopped trying, started to be my true self and now socially it is easy and I think and feel I'm the star of the show. It didn't come naturally but you gotta fake it till you make it. C'mon your a LEO be the star you are out here on earth to be!

Your chart is amazing. Venus in 10th - what i would love to have that!!, Aries moon, Mars in Virgo - your a fighter!

You will overcome this. I have felt like you but over other things and now I'm 'out of it' and overcome the **** that I had to deal with I'm so grateful to myself for not giving up. Life has its ups and downs and we just gotta smile and say eff you I'm gonna carry on and your life can't do ****. Knock me down I'm right back up. But believe me when I say you will overcome this and you will have fun and amazing times. Trust me, please.

Do small things that make you happy. YOU being the operative word here. Do one small thing every day that makes you happy and do something different each day however small.

Have fun
How do you get an opposition 8 to 11?
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  #9  
Unread 10-07-2019, 02:44 PM
Ekonomist13 Ekonomist13 is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

To be honest, from what I've seen in just a few posts of yours, you come off like narcissistic and superficial. You seem to worry too much about yourself and maybe your friends are feeling it and find it... dangerous.

Like for example, your Mars, which indicates battle and aggression, is in your 1st house of self. Maybe your not only overly self-critical but also aggressive in your tendencies to be most beautiful one. Your Jupiter is also in the first house indicating expansion of THOUGHTS of YOURSELF, again indicated overoccupation with yourself. However, it's in Libra, indicating expansion of beauty and wealth. Since Jupiter wants you to learn something, maybe it's that beauty and wealth are temporary and only the immaterial things are left behind.

Furthermore, both planets abovementioned are in opposition with Moon, which is in your 7th house of spouse, marriage and business relationships. This is a great place for your moon to be, as it's both happy in the 7th house and it's happy in Taurus. It's just two things which are likely to delay your marietal happiness: first one is the opposition with jupiter, mars and yourself - which might again prove that your self-occupation rejects your potential partners.

I don't wanna go into any further details as those are less related to your question. I know from experience that depression can make great people develop tendencies of narcissisim, as a means to self-preservation and protection from your own destructive thoughts and deeds.

Which is why I highly suggest you to go visit a psychiatrist about that depression, as it's too serious to talk about in terms of planets. Perhaps your occupation with career or studying could switch your focus and help you cure, but depression involves physical problems with neurotransmitters which, even though are probably affected by planets when things are normal, cannot be cured with planets transits alone.
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  #10  
Unread 10-07-2019, 03:05 PM
Hkk Hkk is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

Quote:
Originally Posted by xyclomatic View Post
Hi guys, for the past several months I've been feeling more depressed than usual, and had even contemplated suicide a few times... but of course, I could never act out on those negative thoughts. Even when things go fine, there's always that underlying feeling of sadness, loneliness, and isolation.

In terms of my social life (or lack thereof) I noticed how people often ignore me despite my efforts in trying to initiate conversation. Also, I find it bizarre how I'll tend to get overlooked when I'm part of a group of people. Like... It. Happens. Most. Of. The. Freaking. Time. In fact, it happened so often that I'm starting to think that I'm "cursed" in social situations as it always been a recurring cycle. I took a closer look at my chart and found out the ruler of my 12th is in my 11th house of friends, so perhaps that partially has something to do with it?


If not that, then maybe it's the current transits that are to blame, but I'm not sure. Can you guys help me out? Thanks.


Below is an attachment of my Natal Chart with transits:
Some people on here are just gonna make you feel worse because they are more lost than you. Just be glad your not that lost
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  #11  
Unread 10-07-2019, 03:12 PM
AprylDawnCancerSun82 AprylDawnCancerSun82 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ekonomist13 View Post
To be honest, from what I've seen in just a few posts of yours, you come off like narcissistic and superficial. You seem to worry too much about yourself and maybe your friends are feeling it and find it... dangerous.

Like for example, your Mars, which indicates battle and aggression, is in your 1st house of self. Maybe your not only overly self-critical but also aggressive in your tendencies to be most beautiful one. Your Jupiter is also in the first house indicating expansion of THOUGHTS of YOURSELF, again indicated overoccupation with yourself. However, it's in Libra, indicating expansion of beauty and wealth. Since Jupiter wants you to learn something, maybe it's that beauty and wealth are temporary and only the immaterial things are left behind.

Furthermore, both planets abovementioned are in opposition with Moon, which is in your 7th house of spouse, marriage and business relationships. This is a great place for your moon to be, as it's both happy in the 7th house and it's happy in Taurus. It's just two things which are likely to delay your marietal happiness: first one is the opposition with jupiter, mars and yourself - which might again prove that your self-occupation rejects your potential partners.

I don't wanna go into any further details as those are less related to your question. I know from experience that depression can make great people develop tendencies of narcissisim, as a means to self-preservation and protection from your own destructive thoughts and deeds.

Which is why I highly suggest you to go visit a psychiatrist about that depression, as it's too serious to talk about in terms of planets. Perhaps your occupation with career or studying could switch your focus and help you cure, but depression involves physical problems with neurotransmitters which, even though are probably affected by planets when things are normal, cannot be cured with planets transits alone.
Ekonomist13!! Hello!! lol
I just stumbled upon this and read and OMG.
Firstly, I love the way u speak. Great answers n advice. You really sound like you know what you're talkin' about.
Secondly, to quote..
"Like for example, your Mars, which indicates battle and aggression, is in your 1st house of self. Maybe your not only overly self-critical but also aggressive in your tendencies to be most beautiful one. Your Jupiter is also in the first house indicating expansion of THOUGHTS of YOURSELF, again indicated overoccupation with yourself. However, it's in Libra, indicating expansion of beauty and wealth. Since Jupiter wants you to learn something, maybe it's that beauty and wealth are temporary and only the immaterial things are left behind."
I have Jupiter, Mars, PLUTO and SATURN in the 1stHouse.
Stellium IN LIBRA! lol (altho Jupe is 033"scorp)
My 7th house is empty.
However..I'm older (37) so Ive learned a thing or 2. No longer depressed..that was a teenage phase...I am overly self critical though. Wanted to tell you, my natal stellium/4planet conjunction mirrors the Upcoming January 2020 stellium.
Any thoughts on what I can expect?
(And I learnt what you said Jupe wants me to learn..material n beauty fades, you can't take it with you. I'm the most Un-materialistic person I know lol.
And after the death of my grandma when I was 18 (who raised me) I had a rude awakening. No longer think of only myself. Now I put others first, even to my detriment. I'm the most softhearted, sensitive, trusting-2-a-fault kinda lady. Cancer sun/Cap moon/Libra rising lol

Last edited by AprylDawnCancerSun82; 10-07-2019 at 03:23 PM.
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  #12  
Unread 10-07-2019, 03:34 PM
Ekonomist13 Ekonomist13 is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AprylDawnCancerSun82 View Post
Ekonomist13!! Hello!! lol
I just stumbled upon this and read and OMG.
Firstly, I love the way u speak. Great answers n advice. You really sound like you know what you're talkin' about.
Secondly, to quote..
"Like for example, your Mars, which indicates battle and aggression, is in your 1st house of self. Maybe your not only overly self-critical but also aggressive in your tendencies to be most beautiful one. Your Jupiter is also in the first house indicating expansion of THOUGHTS of YOURSELF, again indicated overoccupation with yourself. However, it's in Libra, indicating expansion of beauty and wealth. Since Jupiter wants you to learn something, maybe it's that beauty and wealth are temporary and only the immaterial things are left behind."
I have Jupiter, Mars, PLUTO and SATURN in the 1stHouse.
Stellium IN LIBRA! lol (altho Jupe is 033"scorp)
My 7th house is empty.
However..I'm older (37) so Ive learned a thing or 2. No longer depressed..that was a teenage phase...I am overly self critical though. Wanted to tell you, my natal stellium/4planet conjunction mirrors the Upcoming January 2020 stellium.
Any thoughts on what I can expect?
(And I learnt what you said Jupe wants me to learn..material n beauty fades, you can't take it with you. I'm the most Un-materialistic person I know lol.
And after the death of my grandma when I was 18 (who raised me) I had a rude awakening. No longer think of only myself. Now I put others first, even to my detriment. I'm the most softhearted, sensitive, trusting-2-a-fault kinda lady. Cancer sun/Cap moon/Libra rising lol
Thank you for the thumbs up!! Means a lot.

I haven't dedicated much attention to transits, even though my intuition tells me that, since you've had your stellium when you were born, and your birth is the most beautiful thing in your life that had happened, it should now be the same!

Let's not mix multiple charts in one serious thread though. Why don't you post a new thread about your question so you can post the whole natal chart for us to look at?
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  #13  
Unread 10-07-2019, 07:21 PM
kshantaram kshantaram is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

[QUOTE=kshantaram;976754]
if could care to ack and share salient feedbacks
how true-untrue, traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas etc etc.

wishing well.


[QUOTE=kshantaram;945668]
hope helps take stock about planetary placements and possible outcomes :


ketu separative SNode gemini 9th, hyper-analytical, distant lands, distancing from father;
prayers to Christ, offer red flowers at the alter at home wed mornings;

rahu NNode sag 3rd, hyper-ambitious and hyper-impulsive, excessive risk-taking;
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;

previous 1.5yr rahu transit sun-mer leo 11th, gains from foreigners;
while prone to toxic heart-stomach-skin issues etc;
and ketu transit acq-sat, detachment from luck-edu-romance-children-position-employment;
pain-injury-surgery intestinal-lower legs-sciatica etc;


rahu coming 1.5yr transit venus-cancer 10th, foreign relationships;
rise through arts, charismatic leadership and luck; toxic kidney issues etc;


8th lord mars over virgo first, critical attitude,
accident prone, head-intestinal-hip injuries/inflammations;
good for audit-quality control roles;

pisces-jup inimical for virgo asc, inimical jup libra first,
health stressed - kidneys/head/liver etc;
aptitude for advisory roles;


jup now transit sag 3rd, good for advisory-counseling roles;
jup sag trine moon aries 7th, promoting relationship-marriage;
moon lord 11th over 7th, gains from marriage-spouse;
prayers to saint of faith, offer yellow flowers at alter at home fri evenings;


natal sat acq 6th, technical-innovative; reformist; law-justice;
sat acq debilated aspect moon impulsive aries impacting emotional health;
observe fast sat evenings;

sun-sat opp leo-acq, stress in health-employment-income-gains-friendships
and through govt-corporates-social elite;


sat-ketu now 1.5yr transit own cap 4th opp venus sq moon,
craving for relationship, difficult to manifest, mutual health issues;
detachment from mother-motherland-property;
pain-injury-surgery heart-lungs-knees and kidney issues;



do care ack, do share salient pointwise feedbacks,
how true-untrue, traits-talents etc etc,


wishing well, kshantaram
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Last edited by kshantaram; 10-07-2019 at 07:52 PM.
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Unread 10-07-2019, 07:31 PM
Hkk Hkk is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

Quote:
Originally Posted by greybeard View Post
How do you get an opposition 8 to 11?
It a square then G? Its not good whatever it is.
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  #15  
Unread 10-07-2019, 09:53 PM
Harmelia Harmelia is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

I wish I had your city of birth as I could bring it up on my computer then. The chart print is so small it's difficult to read and there are no degrees on the transits.


Still, what I get looking at your chart is that you have one major conflict. Virgo rising and Leo Sun (with Chiron also in Leo). Virgo has the tendency to be really self-doubting, humble, socially more of a wall flower. Virgo doesn't like being center stage or in the lime light. It likes to be helpful and is the zodiac "servant".



Leo wants to shine and enjoys an audience. Without going into all the reasons I think this, you are actually a very sensitive person. You actually CARE about people, but I don't think you've found a way to show it. Your Saturn is in Virgo's house - the 6th. You might even be quite intuitive with it in Aquarius. You ARE here to gain confidence in yourself socially - Sun in Leo, 11th house of friends/community. But I think you need to develop that confidence and trust through your Virgo side. You need to find a way to "shine" while you are giving something to people. It'd be great if you have a job where you could do that.



One can indeed shine and have others appreciate you when you're giving something of value to them - with love and caring in your heart. I think you have to learn a skill that will give you this experience if you don't have one already. Mars in Virgo conjunct the ASC could be translated as "Doing Virgo". Mars is our DOER. It's in Virgo, the sign of service. It CAN be aggressive, but then you could help A LOT then - go for it - really do that helping thing that is also a vehicle for you to shine and be special to others.



I know what it's like to be depressed. Saturn in the 6th might give you that overall tendency. I have Saturn in Virgo in the 1st. Anyway, it's just a state of being that seems like a big black hole you will never escape. But once you can mentally stand outside that idea or state, you realize, it's just a state of being and you don't really have to be there.



My advice is to reflect upon how you really do care and how difficult it is to show your ultra-sensitivity. You can't really show it to many people - and that's okay - but you can show it through helping without revealing all your sensitivity. It's something you can work on anyway. Just remember that most people aren't necessarily so sensitive. So honor yourself and don't expect to reveal all who you are. You only need a friend or two who really knows you. The rest, you can be less of who you are and still enjoy a social engagement. Leo likes to play roles. Try playing a role or two. Practice in private. Have fun with it. If you have more fun, you'll notice others will enjoy you more.



That's all for now!
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  #16  
Unread 10-08-2019, 09:13 AM
xyclomatic xyclomatic is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

@Harmelia


How did you know that about me?!

No seriously, it's true. I've always been that type of guy who puts on his "pokerface" when out in public. Just something about showing feelings or emotions in front of people makes me cringe. I guess that's why in part people think I'm weird? Cuz I seldom show anything on the outside... no matter how STRONGLY I feel about something... I just... physically can't show it, even when I really really REALLY wanted to. The only exception to the rule is anger. That's literally the only emotion that's sometimes difficult for me to hide, well, for obvious reasons since my Mars is exposed in the 1st house for all to see. But because of my heightened self-consciousness and awareness, I'm able to control any hint of anger slipping out on the exterior. Furthermore, since Virgo is considered a "cold" Earth sign ruled by logical unemotional Mercury - that makes it much easier to hide feelings; albeit similar to Scorpio but in a fundamentally different way.

Another thing worthy to mention is that all my life I always had that secret desire to be center staged, but something else in me keeps saying "No, don't. It's giving me so much anxiety. Just hide by the corner, plz!!!" which I suspect is the Virgo Rising. Yet, my Leo Sun will feel suffocated by the invisibility and lowkey frustrated by not being able to fully express itself. It's a tough combo to say the least.

I wonder if my chart ruler Mercury being in emotional Cancer adds a completely different twist to it? But yes, you're definitely spot on about me being sensitive at times. And because my passionate Aries Moon is in the 7th house of others, that obviously means I naturally put other people's emotions first before mine, especially if they're people of significance to me (say for example, a close friend or a romantic lover especially). Man, I'm WILLING to give them my all as soon as they truly win my heart. The only hard part is getting INTO my heart, which 99.9% of people haven't managed to do that yet. However, once they do... oh boy that's one hell of an accomplishment to be proud about. I'm hooked for life!

My Cancer Venus isn't easy to open up, either. I'm actually prone to feeling verrrrry sentimental about love, so in that realm of my life I can absolutely be sensitive. And despite all the Mars energy in my chart, I still very much PREFER being pursued as opposed to being the pursuer myself, lol. Although I don't mind doing the chasing every once in a while if I really have to, cuz why not? My Aries Moon could sometimes be adventurous... well, if I'm feeling up for it, that is.


.

Last edited by xyclomatic; 10-08-2019 at 09:30 AM.
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  #17  
Unread 10-08-2019, 04:24 PM
Harmelia Harmelia is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

If you give me your birth day, birth time and birth city, I will pull up your chart on my computer so I can see it properly. I have a really hard time reading small print.



I'm glad I got some of it right. Many of us have some kind of conflict in our charts and it takes a while to manage them so that we can use them positively. Your conflict is not an easy one, so you have my sympathy. But I'm sure with some effort, you can learn to make these influences work for you.



That Mars on the ASC and Aries Moon in the 7th, are probably there to help you express yourself. The most positive use of that Virgo rising is to analyze in an effort to UNDERSTAND. It's negative would be self-deprication, being overly critical of self and others, and it can contribute to feeling depressed because it pushes us to perfect - but we're never perfect, so it can feel like the effort is useless or hopeless. In my opinion, depression is mostly about feeling hopelessness.


If you use Virgo to analyze yourself and others with the aim to understand, you will not fall for the negative Virgo. If you catch yourself being critical - try to refocus and go into analysis mode - try to understand something new - look for an insight. It will take you out of your negativity.


Use that Mars fire to really go for understanding - knowing yourself and others. It's very powerful there. It can lead you to great wisdom. Turn your anger into desire to know. It needs an outlet.


Again, I really think you'd benefit from working in some job where you can help people and use that Virgo desire to help so that you can shine in that way. That Leo really does want to shine and you may find that you can access your creativity and genius through doing something that will benefit others. I don't know what talents you've developed, but Virgo can help you perfect them - if you don't get into feeling its hopeless. Just realize that it's Virgo and you don't REALLY have to have it perfect even if you feel like you need to. You need to be brave and just take small steps in letting yourself out of the box. You'll find support, slowly but surely and it will help you be braver. Your Aries Moon might not be very patient, so you[ll need to apply some soothing self-talk. Look for little improvements and congratulate yourself for it. You'll start to feel better . . . generally and overall.



Big hug to you . . .
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  #18  
Unread 10-09-2019, 12:33 AM
xyclomatic xyclomatic is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmelia View Post
If you give me your birth day, birth time and birth city, I will pull up your chart on my computer so I can see it properly. I have a really hard time reading small print.



I'm glad I got some of it right. Many of us have some kind of conflict in our charts and it takes a while to manage them so that we can use them positively. Your conflict is not an easy one, so you have my sympathy. But I'm sure with some effort, you can learn to make these influences work for you.



That Mars on the ASC and Aries Moon in the 7th, are probably there to help you express yourself. The most positive use of that Virgo rising is to analyze in an effort to UNDERSTAND. It's negative would be self-deprication, being overly critical of self and others, and it can contribute to feeling depressed because it pushes us to perfect - but we're never perfect, so it can feel like the effort is useless or hopeless. In my opinion, depression is mostly about feeling hopelessness.


If you use Virgo to analyze yourself and others with the aim to understand, you will not fall for the negative Virgo. If you catch yourself being critical - try to refocus and go into analysis mode - try to understand something new - look for an insight. It will take you out of your negativity.


Use that Mars fire to really go for understanding - knowing yourself and others. It's very powerful there. It can lead you to great wisdom. Turn your anger into desire to know. It needs an outlet.


Again, I really think you'd benefit from working in some job where you can help people and use that Virgo desire to help so that you can shine in that way. That Leo really does want to shine and you may find that you can access your creativity and genius through doing something that will benefit others. I don't know what talents you've developed, but Virgo can help you perfect them - if you don't get into feeling its hopeless. Just realize that it's Virgo and you don't REALLY have to have it perfect even if you feel like you need to. You need to be brave and just take small steps in letting yourself out of the box. You'll find support, slowly but surely and it will help you be braver. Your Aries Moon might not be very patient, so you[ll need to apply some soothing self-talk. Look for little improvements and congratulate yourself for it. You'll start to feel better . . . generally and overall.



Big hug to you . . .

Hi Harmelia,

My dob is 8/7/93 at 9:29 AM, Los Angeles, USA.

I hope that makes things a lot easier for you. Also, I will keep a mental note of your advice. Hopefully all works out for me.

As for being overly-critical, yep. This is especially true in terms of my physical appearance. Every time I look in the mirror, I tend to hyper-analyze on what could be improved on my face. Growing up with moderate acne, you could only imagine how much I hated my skin! I've struggled with this issue for years.

And yes, I do have a job that "kinda" could be described as serving others! Currently, I'm a fitness assistant at my college gym - mostly just cleaning/sanitizing gym equipment for other people while they're working out. It's funny because this sounds incredibly stereotypical of Virgo.
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Unread 10-09-2019, 12:54 AM
Harmelia Harmelia is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

Yes, but Virgos are scientists, doctors, teachers, vets - Virgo doesn't have to be door mat. The positive traits of Virgo will come to you when you stop your self-criticism. You'll be surprised how powerful you will feel when you catch yourself critisizing and replace it with a thought of self-acceptance. Nobody cares about your face. It's what shines through that face that they receive. You are young my friend. It gets better. You'll see. Just start changing the way you think about yourself and the world will tip into another reality for you.



Thanks for your birth data. I'll look at your chart and if there's something I feel important to add, I will. And in the meantime - I want to ask you to smile at yourself the next time you're in front of a mirror.
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  #20  
Unread 10-09-2019, 01:10 AM
Harmelia Harmelia is offline
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Re: Feeling more depressed than usual... the lowest of the low. PLEASE HELP!

Okay . . . looking at your secondary progressions, SP Sun is in the 12th house, Virgo and SP Moon is in 7th house, Pisces. This is really good for letting go of "things" like self-criticism. Pisces is the natural ruler of the 12th and then the Moon is in Pisces - SO let go! Let go of this stuff! You have several years to do it - like 15 years. SP Sun then goes over your ASC Oct 2035 and you will be starting something brand new. You will experience yourself very differently.



So, that just gives you an idea of a nice long process - letting go day by day until suddenly, things really have completely changed for you. Of course, you'll notice improvements along the way. It just takes people a while to change. They don't do it quickly.



All I'm saying is that the planets - especially the SP Sun, the most important one - support letting go of your present tendencies. If you look at that way, it can be helpful. It's okay to feel a little confused or lost. Usually when we let go of "stuff" without really having something else to hold onto, it feels like being lost. If you can make that okay and know it's just a stage . . . you will slowly find yourself - a better self. Just make it okay to be in a process of change and not arriving for a while. That gives you a framework within which you can change without being all frustrated and upset or depressed.



Are you familiar with Chaos Theory? There's a period of chaos - feeling lost - when you make changes. It's necessary for change to happen. It's perfectly normal and good. We just have to accept where we are and be fine with it - and then it isn't so problematic.



What will be good to do today that will feel good to you? Ask yourself that question every morning. Make it simple. Start with one thing a day.



That's all for now, my friend.
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