Why I don't have love in my life?

Hi Deepminde:

To answer your question, it is important to look at your Venus and aspects to Venus.
You have some complicated issues related to love. Once you address these issues,
the energy should be freed up for you to move forward in terms of finding someone to love.
With a Scorpio Venus, you should be able to attract a mate. But watch out for the drama and over the top intensity.

These are the issues holding you back as indicated by aspects to Venus:

Venus/Chiron: A belief that LOVE HURTS. May attract difficult relationships which confirm this belief or remain celibate. The challenge is to find healthy and positive relationships to learn that love can be healing and positive.

Venus/Saturn: A belief that you are not lovable and do not deserve love. Will arrange the love life to confirm this. The challenge is to like yourself, and to allow others to love you. There may be some hidden guilt, or may avoid love. You will have to work on putting love and partnerships into practice, not just think about it.

Venus/Pluto: There may be a deep dark hole, a neediness around love. There is a deep down fear that there will never be enough love. There are control issues around love, and fear of being overwhelmed. The challenge is to understand that no one person can meet all of your needs, connection to spirit may be helpful. Giving out love, with not a lot of high expectations in return,

Julia

deepminde said:

wan, thanks for hijacking my thread...

Click to expand...

Your thread wasn't hijacked, it's right here where you left it.

@wan,

You can start a new thread or I can bump your old one if you have a similar question.

deepminde said:

That's true I don't meet a lot of new people. It seems unsafe. Maybe they are psychos or something like that. D I' m very suspicious of people. I have social anxiety too, but it not severe, I can go out, talk to people and etc. And I have not the best personality traits so feel like I have to impress people and be someone I'm not. And wearing "a mask" feels really exhausting.

Click to expand...

And maybe they are just regular people like you.

Don't be someone you're not. That will only work for so long.

deepminde said:

There is a guy, who I think is interested in me, but he reminds of me of myself. He don't go out much and I don't think he has much friends, which is OK, but I want a person, who would make me feel alive.
He also doesn't swim and travel (not even has been abroad), which is a big minus because in life I don't have many things I like but f**k I enjoy swimming, it so relaxing and I would like to travel more than I do now...

Click to expand...

So there is a guy who is probably interested in you but you're ignoring him because he isn't outgoing and he doesn't enjoy the same sort of activities as you... Then you start a thread asking why you no one likes you and you can't find a boyfriend.

A person could easily become more interested in a particular activity if they have someone to do it with, especially a romantic partner. So not having a certain hobby is not a good enough reason to cross someone out of your list of possibilities. If you like swimming, suggest it. You never know.

As katydid and Julia mentioned, you have to think about what sort of beliefs you have that are undermining. You are probably being too rigid (Scorpio) about the attributes a prospective partner must possess. The 12th house is known as the house of "self-undoing" for a good reason. You don't want to be unhappy in life about never finding love because you passed up perfectly fine men because they weren't exactly everything you could possibly have hoped for in all of your wildest dreams. No one is going to be it all.

sibylline said:

So there is a guy who is probably interested in you but you're ignoring him because he isn't outgoing and he doesn't enjoy the same sort of activities as you... Then you start a thread asking why you no one likes you and you can't find a boyfriend.

A person could easily become more interested in a particular activity if they have someone to do it with, especially a romantic partner. So not having a certain hobby is not a good enough reason to cross someone out of your list of possibilities. If you like swimming, suggest it. You never know.

As katydid and Julia mentioned, you have to think about what sort of beliefs you have that are undermining. You are probably being too rigid (Scorpio) about the attributes a prospective partner must possess. The 12th house is known as the house of "self-undoing" for a good reason. You don't want to be unhappy in life about never finding love because you passed up perfectly fine men because they weren't exactly everything you could possibly have hoped for in all of your wildest dreams. No one is going to be it all.

Click to expand...

I just guessing, I don't know if he likes me for sure. Maybe I'm imagining it. And there is another issue... I don't feel physical attraction towards him.

Hmm, I'm tired of overthinking about "love"...

There is so much talk about meeting someone in a coffee shop or in the neighbourhood etc.

What id like to know is, from a learning perspective for myself, if her 7th house ruler doesn't aspect her asc ruler, where on earth in her chart does it show she will be in a committed relationship? In my opinion, you are born with your chart, so if you have 12th house issues, then working through them wont necessarily help. As someone has pointed out, mars in 7th house sextile asc ruler Jupiter could be an indication of a sexual relationship, but im not sure if it is long term. There's so much chaos in this chart regarding love. And north node is in 2nd house.

Abby83 said:

There is so much talk about meeting someone in a coffee shop or in the neighbourhood etc.

What id like to know is, from a learning perspective for myself, if her 7th house ruler doesn't aspect her asc ruler, where on earth in her chart does it show she will be in a committed relationship? In my opinion, you are born with your chart, so if you have 12th house issues, then working through them wont necessarily help. As someone has pointed out, mars in 7th house sextile asc ruler Jupiter could be an indication of a sexual relationship, but im not sure if it is long term. There's so much chaos in this chart regarding love. And north node is in 2nd house.

Click to expand...

I agree, there is no love in my life... But I'm interested in NN in 2nd, what it has to do with love/relationship?

Abby83 said:

There is so much talk about meeting someone in a coffee shop or in the neighbourhood etc.

What id like to know is, from a learning perspective for myself, if her 7th house ruler doesn't aspect her asc ruler, where on earth in her chart does it show she will be in a committed relationship? In my opinion, you are born with your chart, so if you have 12th house issues, then working through them wont necessarily help. As someone has pointed out, mars in 7th house sextile asc ruler Jupiter could be an indication of a sexual relationship, but im not sure if it is long term. There's so much chaos in this chart regarding love. And north node is in 2nd house.

Click to expand...

The ruler of my Asc does not aspect the ruler of my 7th, and I have been married for over 30 years now. Natal charts do not have the same rules as a horary. There are many ways to see an indication of long term relationships besides ‘the ruler of 7th aspects the ruler of the 1st.’ Thank goodness.

In her case, the ruler of the 7th is conjunct the Asc and opposing her Mars in the 7th. Mars rules the 4th, and is co-ruler of the Scorpio stellium. The Mars is in an applying sextile with Jupiter in the 8th, ruler of her Ascendant. That tells me she will have opportunities for committed relationships. And the progressed Sun and transiting Saturn are highlighting that Mars right now.

Abby83 said:

What id like to know is, from a learning perspective for myself, if her 7th house ruler doesn't aspect her asc ruler, where on earth in her chart does it show she will be in a committed relationship?

Click to expand...

I don't think that matters in the slightest. I have hundreds, if not up to 1000 charts in my archives of people I know or did readings for and there are plenty where the 7th ruler doesn't aspect the 1st ruler and the person is married or in a committed relationship for years. And people who have never been married yet their rulers do aspect.

My mother has been married to my father since she was 19 and her 7th ruler Mars (or Pluto, modernly) doesn't aspect her 1st house ruler Venus (which is retrograde).

You don't have to take my word for it, though, just look up charts of celebrities who have even survived being married in the public eye for decades, and their ASC/DSC rulers don't aspect....Joanne Woodward, Tom Selleck, Alan Alda, Danny Devito, Ann-Margaret, the list goes on.

Abby83 said:

In my opinion, you are born with your chart, so if you have 12th house issues, then working through them wont necessarily help. As someone has pointed out, mars in 7th house sextile asc ruler Jupiter could be an indication of a sexual relationship, but im not sure if it is long term. There's so much chaos in this chart regarding love. And north node is in 2nd house.

Click to expand...

12th house issues can be worked on...While I believe in an element of fate, I also see quite clearly that some people have the tendency to work against what they really want.

katydid said:

The ruler of my Asc does not aspect the ruler of my 7th, and I have been married for over 30 years now. Natal charts do not have the same rules as a horary. There are many ways to see an indication of long term relationships besides ‘the ruler of 7th aspects the ruler of the 1st.’ Thank goodness.

In her case, the ruler of the 7th is conjunct the Asc and opposing her Mars in the 7th. Mars rules the 4th, and is co-ruler of the Scorpio stellium. The Mars is in an applying sextile with Jupiter in the 8th, ruler of her Ascendant. That tells me she will have opportunities for committed relationships. And the progressed Sun and transiting Saturn are highlighting that Mars right now.

Click to expand...

Well, that makes predicting long term relationships a lot harder!!

Just so I understand correctly. It doesn't matter here what mars rules. Are you saying because mars is a masculine planet in 7th and a co ruler of scorpio planets and aspecting asc ruler that that signifies committed relationship?

Sibylline -

That's great to hear. But also harder for me to try and predict now.

As for 12th house in my chart. I never liked it, ever, no matter how much it was worked on. Still working on it today and even though it doesn't bother me anymore I still have the same opinions about men. I don't feel anything for them and im disappointed in them.

Abby83 said:

Well, that makes predicting long term relationships a lot harder!!

Just so I understand correctly. It doesn't matter here what mars rules. Are you saying because mars is a masculine planet in 7th and a co ruler of scorpio planets and aspecting asc ruler that that signifies committed relationship?

Click to expand...

It matters where Mars is placed.
I am saying that it is not only the ruler of the 7th that is vital. Although, in this case, the ruler of the 7th is conjunct the Asc. So that is an important connection between the 1st and 7th right there.

But added to that, her 7th has Mars placed there, trining the ruler of her chart. So that once again highlights the 1st/7th beneficial connection.

The problem in her chart is not a severe lack of opportunities. There is potential action in that 7th and 8 th. But the Mercury opposing the Mars may make it hard for someone to get past her verbal barriers and criticisms? She may protect herself by setting up a critical barrier that others have to pass through. And some my decide not to.

deepminde said:

Hello,

I don't understand what is wrong with me. Why I don't have a boyfriend? Why nobody likes me? Is it my fault? But there is lots of worse people than me and they have a someone special...

I feel lonely sometimes and I don't think I ever find love.

What do you think?

Click to expand...

PLEASE next time post your natal chart minus all the excess of transits and progressions. You can always add additional charts. Thanks

I am going by the Placidus chart per which Jupiter rules your chart via the Asc.

Your natal 7th house ruler, Merc. is on your Ascendant, which means that others/relationships are very important to you. That said, Merc. is in its fall in Sagittarius, so it is not strong and too beneficial. Merc. also doesn't receive any support from benefics like Jupiter and Venus. The positive is that Mars in the 7th receives a sextile from a Leo Jupiter, although your Jupiter is also a little subdued as it is in the 8th house. Still something.

Then Mars in 7th is also debilated thru retrogradation. Retrograde planets tend to work against the native. Additionally, that 7th house Mars opposes the 7th house ruler Merc on the Asc.
Moon isn't doing well in Virgo either.

Right now, you have Saturn rolling over your first house and this will be the case another year or so, at least. This means that you might feel cut off from the world in general. You might need to wait another year or so I think.

Did anything happen about 2-3 years ago?

In general, with most of your personal planets being in the 8th and 12th, you might be more inclined to being by yourself rather than in the company of others. Also, these placements mean that you might brood more than actively do something about the issue at hand. Now this is something you can fix. Think less and act more - in the sense - go out more with friends, siblings, etc.

katydid said:

It matters where Mars is placed.
I am saying that it is not only the ruler of the 7th that is vital. Although, in this case, the ruler of the 7th is conjunct the Asc. So that is an important connection between the 1st and 7th right there.

But added to that, her 7th has Mars placed there, trining the ruler of her chart. So that once again highlights the 1st/7th beneficial connection.

The problem in her chart is not a severe lack of opportunities. There is potential action in that 7th and 8 th. But the Mercury opposing the Mars may make it hard for someone to get past her verbal barriers and criticisms? She may protect herself by setting up a critical barrier that others have to pass through. And some my decide not to.

Click to expand...

Yes I agree. And im concerned that her mercury doesn't have favourable aspects as well.

Abby83 said:

Yes I agree. And im concerned that her mercury doesn't have favourable aspects as well.

Click to expand...

You nailed it. It is very important to first check the 'condition' of the house rulers. The best is if they are exalted or elevated by being in the signs they feel most comfortable in. For e.g., 7th house ruler Mercury here would have been stronger, were it in Gemini or Virgo, or even in a neutral sign like libra or leo.

If the ruler of the house is not strong, but receives strength in the form of trines and sextiles from benefics like Venus or Jupiter, or a strong Moon; all that can help, too.

May I ask, and please feel free to ignore my question, if you like, how do you do financially, as I am looking at your 2nd house ruler, Saturn?

deepminde said:

wan, thanks for hijacking my thread...

Click to expand...

Wan asked a question related to your subject because s/he did not understand (and this is a public forum), and asked once only. No harm done I would say.

A third house natal Uranus means be cautious and think before you put something out there that might upset people.

aquarius7000 said:

Did anything happen about 2-3 years ago?

Click to expand...

I don't know... maybe my friendship (not romantic) ended. I had a good friend and now I don't. I'm not upset and sometimes I think, why?.. That's strange... This is it or you had something differed in mind?

aquarius7000 said:

In general, with most of your personal planets being in the 8th and 12th, you might be more inclined to being by yourself rather than in the company of others. Also, these placements mean that you might brood more than actively do something about the issue at hand. Now this is something you can fix. Think less and act more - in the sense - go out more with friends, siblings, etc.

Click to expand...

aquarius7000 said:

May I ask, and please feel free to ignore my question, if you like, how do you do financially, as I am looking at your 2nd house ruler, Saturn?

Click to expand...

My life is s*** in general. I don't have friends, well 1 or 2, no siblings, no love and no career, not even a job right now. I quit it myself, I was tired and unsatisfied all the time. And after I quit I had a health problems, I still don't know is it physical or mental (yes, I went to a doctor). Money... well I have savings and I've never had debt, but almost all the time my salary from all my jobs was s***.

deepminde said:

My life is s*** in general. I don't have friends, well 1 or 2, no siblings, no love and no career, not even a job right now. I quit it myself, I was tired and unsatisfied all the time. And after I quit I had a health problems, I still don't know is it physical or mental (yes, I went to a doctor). Money... well I have savings and I've never had debt, but almost all the time my salary from all my jobs was s***.

Click to expand...

I know this isn't helping with your thread but I can so relate to this as a 12th house person. 12th house is about lots of rest and isolation, among other things. Sometimes all I want to do is sleeeep. Hey, there's an idea. A bed buddy, I mean someone to sleep with, I mean .... just kidding. Mmm, sleep.

deepminde said:

I don't know... maybe my friendship (not romantic) ended. I had a good friend and now I don't. I'm not upset and sometimes I think, why?.. That's strange... This is it or you had something differed in mind?

Click to expand...

I actually had a romantic interest from either side (the other person or yourself in mind).

As mentioned earlier, with Saturn going over your first house, it is normal for anyone (so you are not alone in this) to feel burdened, discouraged and depressed in ways.

Money wise, I do think your chart shows that you are self-dependent and can always pay your bills. The second house ruler is strong. It could be sometimes though that you do not know what you did with your money with Neptune there. Nep in the second also means that if you make any investments, read the fine print twice and invest only after you have clearly understood everything.

aquarius7000 said:

I actually had a romantic interest from either side (the other person or yourself in mind).

As mentioned earlier, with Saturn going over your first house, it is normal for anyone (so you are not alone in this) to feel burdened, discouraged and depressed in ways.

Money wise, I do think your chart shows that you are self-dependent and can always pay your bills. The second house ruler is strong. It could be sometimes though that you do not know what you did with your money with Neptune there. Nep in the second also means that if you make any investments, read the fine print twice and invest only after you have clearly understood everything.

Click to expand...

Oh yes, Neptune in 2nd is deluded about money and how much they spend and earn.