Venus/pluto aspects by gender

Hi,
I was wondering how a challenging Venus/Pluto would play out for a woman and how the same aspect would play out for a man? Is there any difference in your opinion and if so why?

I'm female with a Venus/Pluto square..

My relationships with both genders are shaky, of course romantic relationships have a stronger effect on me..

With men, there is usually a fight for control, I want to be equal in every aspect. But I'm finding that very hard to achieve..

With women, I got trust women so much, it takes me a long time to let a female into my life as a friend.. There's a period of prove your trustworthy..
Maybe it doesn't sound right, but it's been a battle..
Women have stabbed me in the back more..
Verses men that want to control me..

That's the difference I would say for me.

Venus-Opposite-Pluto here, right across the horizon, with Pluto conjuncting ASC in Scorpio. My interaction with the world and others in it is definitely "Plutonic". This is represented in my relationships, especially romantic relationships, which tend to blow hot and cold.
There are two quotes that I felt I resonate with from before I discovered astrology, and it is interesting that their tone manifest in my chart. One is by Sartre's, "Hell is other people." The other is "Life is hard and then you die."

Speaking from a woman's perspective, Venus-Pluto square can be hard. At least one relationship will have a "flavor" of perfect yet impossible (tragic) love. It seems unavoidable, it feels like fate and part of us wants that experience. My Moon in Virgo and some other aspects that favor reasoning gave me a much needed perspective

For men it could be pretty much the same. A friend couldn't get over his girlfriend for a long (loooooong) time. Now he's happily married.

The traditional view of gender roles reinforces the idea that women are more prone to heartbreak. I think that we only experience it differently.

Dealing with powerful heart breaks seem to be a strong trend for people with Venus/Pluto hard aspects, even if the relationship themselves does not contain a hard aspect. Personally I feel like I have had to deal with a "heart break" once every year, it's probably inevitable.

Chances are also that if you have a Venus/Pluto aspect in your chart, you will have that aspect with most people you get involved with, by the simple reason that Pluto is a generational Planet. Because my Venus is opposite my Pluto, my Venus is also opposite the majority of women I have been involved with. I seem to "escape" the Plutonic energy somewhat by dating older women at times, where things feel a lot "smoother", even though I still bring some of my Plutonic energy into the relationship, but it often doesn't have as much of a strong effect that with those my own age.

It would be interesting to see if anyone else here shares that experience: a hard Pluto-Venus aspect + age difference in relationships.

Additionally this goes the same for general friendships. I've found that I often have smooth interactions and friendships with people much younger than me or much older than me... rarely ever around the same age.

Very interesting. I myself am a woman with a venus pluto opp and if I fall I fall hard. I avoid doing so if I can and have had a series of relationships where I feel like we're more friends than anything. The problem is the other person often feels we're much more than friends.

The first guy I ever fell for hard had his north node conjunct my pluto, south node conjunct my venus. What I find interesting is I've heard that venus/pluto people's counterparts are mars/pluto people. That'd be another tough aspect to handle. Looking back i think he handled it well. I think I could've trusted him, but maybe couldn't trust myself to handle the intensity of what I felt.
There are 2 guys I really liked years ago that had planets conjuncting my pluto. One had venus conjunct pluto, and I couldn't resist him, I pursued him. The other had his sun conjunct my pluto and for a period we were deeply attracted to each other. We were both dating lots and I felt too much jealousy, along with the need to be free. (Lol).
I've attracted some obsessive types. One guy whose venus and something else were conjunct my venus. It didn't last of course. The other obbsessive type I find is someone with their pluto conjunct my north node. Not ideal either.
Obviously I have a Sag rising and really try to be fair in my relationships, though it seems impossible!

dioskouris said:

Dealing with powerful heart breaks seem to be a strong trend for people with Venus/Pluto hard aspects, even if the relationship themselves does not contain a hard aspect. Personally I feel like I have had to deal with a "heart break" once every year, it's probably inevitable.

Chances are also that if you have a Venus/Pluto aspect in your chart, you will have that aspect with most people you get involved with, by the simple reason that Pluto is a generational Planet. Because my Venus is opposite my Pluto, my Venus is also opposite the majority of women I have been involved with. I seem to "escape" the Plutonic energy somewhat by dating older women at times, where things feel a lot "smoother", even though I still bring some of my Plutonic energy into the relationship, but it often doesn't have as much of a strong effect that with those my own age.

It would be interesting to see if anyone else here shares that experience: a hard Pluto-Venus aspect + age difference in relationships.

Additionally this goes the same for general friendships. I've found that I often have smooth interactions and friendships with people much younger than me or much older than me... rarely ever around the same age.

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A very interesting question. Even if there's an age difference, I seem drawn to pluto type people with aspects to my venus/pluto.

Hi, my ex had a venus square pluto. He was not at all dominating and such, and there were no powerstruggles. When we broke up though, it was the worst time of my life! Its been 3 months now and I still cant get him out of my head. 1st month was the worst-honestly felt like breaking down and just dying... Ps--T.pluto square my progr. Venus, Uranus conj. it.

RisingSag said:

... What I find interesting is I've heard that venus/pluto people's counterparts are mars/pluto people. That'd be another tough aspect to handle...

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Great observation! My husband has Mars-Pluto opposition. My partner in the typical venus-square-pluto relationship has Mars square Pluto (wide orb, but there it is).

RisingSag said:

I've attracted some obsessive types. One guy whose venus and something else were conjunct my venus. It didn't last of course. The other obsessive type I find is someone with their pluto conjunct my north node. Not ideal either.

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I've had one similar experience. Unfortunately, I don't have his birth data at hand. It turned out that he was really mentally ill. It was suffocating and I finished it with one clean cut.

Personally I hate to see Venus squares....the heavier the other planet, the less I like it.
Squares with Venus tend to make the native choose the hardest, bumpiest road, the most difficult climb. It's as tho they believe that if there's no torture involved in getting to the "love" it's somehow less valuable.

It shows that in childhood the person was probably betrayed in some way, or abused or circumstances were just traumatic and possibly tragic...certainly there was upheaval ...and the person just expects that scenario all their life.

With Pluto, Neptune or Uranus, there can be a great lack of trust...in others OR in the self. It's hard to overcome. And if you are attracted to this in others, it's important to figure out why.
LIN

Lin said:

Personally I hate to see Venus squares....the heavier the other planet, the less I like it.
Squares with Venus tend to make the native choose the hardest, bumpiest road, the most difficult climb. It's as tho they believe that if there's no torture involved in getting to the "love" it's somehow less valuable.

It shows that in childhood the person was probably betrayed in some way, or abused or circumstances were just traumatic and possibly tragic...certainly there was upheaval ...and the person just expects that scenario all their life.

With Pluto, Neptune or Uranus, there can be a great lack of trust...in others OR in the self. It's hard to overcome. And if you are attracted to this in others, it's important to figure out why.
LIN

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Wow. Do you notice a difference between men and women?

I only dated one person my age, ( who's Pluto squared my Venus)
But his sun was conjunct my Venus, so it was a Pluto/Venus Pluto/sun relationship.
It was very intense and I feel very hard... It was hard to get over, I even reconnected with him 12 yrs later, but at that time it didn't go anywhere. The same feeling weren't there..

The most intense relationship I have had, was when the guy also had Venus/Pluto square in his natal. Even though we didn't have it in synastry.. My Venus in cancer his Venus in cap

It was strongly felt... It was the most intense relationship I have ever had to deal with. It blew me away.. I was ungulfed in obsession and all the Venus/Pluto effects were there...
I'm still trying to get over it...
It's been the hardest relationship I've had to get over.
I usually move on pretty fast, but not this one..

All of my relationships are Pluto theme (Pluto in h7)
But this last one, really pulled my Venus/Pluto square to the surface.

ugh, something I just noticed, a few men in my life who've maliciously messed with me have had mars conjunct my venus opp my pluto. I mean, these guys don't back off. I've been the stronger person, the "alpha" (pluto over mars right!), and I've always been respectful, but their tendency has been to constantly challenge me, in a rotten and disgusting way. Why's that? I don't get it.

"Wow. Do you notice a difference between men and women?"

I don't think there's that much of a difference. Although if a man's chart is otherwise more aggressive, squares to Venus can be more "action oriented." But I've seen men who were extremely "passive-aggressive" rather than outwardly violent.

The important thing is to always look very closely (and objectively) at the synastry.
LIN