Ajna
Member
Funny email I received. The sender says the word coining event was Mensa sponsored. If it was, this is a chance to be among the intellectual elite". 
Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition:
1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an *******.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
11. Karmageddon: It’s, like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
Supply alternate meanings for common words:
1. Coffee: The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly: Impotent.
6. Negligent: Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph: To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle: Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence: Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who’s been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle: A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude: The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon: A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster: A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism: The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Louvre: A restroom in France.
17. Circumvent: An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition:
1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an *******.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
11. Karmageddon: It’s, like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
Supply alternate meanings for common words:
1. Coffee: The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly: Impotent.
6. Negligent: Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph: To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle: Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence: Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who’s been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle: A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude: The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon: A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster: A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism: The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Louvre: A restroom in France.
17. Circumvent: An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
these!
