Help please * Transiting patterns for elderly mother.

Oceanis

Well-known member
:sad:Hello
Please help me understand the personality/mentality (or life-stage trends) of my elderly mom (93).

Despite her weaker health, she is becoming rebellious, insisting to travel overseas to visit alienated siblings and long-lost relatives.
She says this is her last wish.
Is there a way to identify if her future abroad will be peaceful and happy - or challenging - by checking her chart (and maybe mine)?

Mother: Natal Ascendant early Sagittarius.
Daughter: Natal Ascendant 28 Degrees Libra, and Relocated Ascendant 13 Degrees Cancer.
 

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Lin

Well-known member
Would you please post your mother's chart with the current transits? (using the Tropical Placidus system)
LIN
 
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Sagcap88

Well-known member
:sad:Hello
Please help me understand the personality/mentality (or life-stage trends) of my elderly mom (93).

Despite her weaker health, she is becoming rebellious, insisting to travel overseas to visit alienated siblings and long-lost relatives.
She says this is her last wish.
Is there a way to identify if her future abroad will be peaceful and happy - or challenging - by checking her chart (and maybe mine)?

Mother: Natal Ascendant early Sagittarius.
Daughter: Natal Ascendant 28 Degrees Libra, and Relocated Ascendant 13 Degrees Cancer.

I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Sadly, her personality changes sounds like what I’ve seen before in elderly people with Dementia. Has a doctor seen her about this? I would consult with one first about the safety of someone so far along traveling. Best of luck! Again, so sorry to hear about the situation. Heartbreaking.
 

sea_of_qi

Well-known member
:sad:Hello
Please help me understand the personality/mentality (or life-stage trends) of my elderly mom (93).

Despite her weaker health, she is becoming rebellious, insisting to travel overseas to visit alienated siblings and long-lost relatives.
She says this is her last wish.
Is there a way to identify if her future abroad will be peaceful and happy - or challenging - by checking her chart (and maybe mine)?

Mother: Natal Ascendant early Sagittarius.
Daughter: Natal Ascendant 28 Degrees Libra, and Relocated Ascendant 13 Degrees Cancer.

Following Whole sign houses the ruler of the 9th(long distance travel) the Sun is in the 11th but in Fall and will need help producing a beneficial long journey. Sun gets this help through reception with Jupiter in the 3rd, also the Sun is received by a nice Venus. Foriegn travel is not to be feared as long as her general health permits.

As to the meaning and importance of the travel to her; Ruler of the 9th, Sun is in the 3rd from the 9th: siblings. Triplicity ruler of the 9th Jupiter in the 7th from the 9th and Trine the Sun: relationships, contracts and open enemies between the siblings in the foreign land are involved.

Saturn Triplicity Ruler of the 9th is in the natal 12th which is 4th from the 9th Conjunct Moon and Opposed the Mars in detriment in the natal 6th, 10th from the 9th: Your mom and her siblings have a lot of hidden trauma they experienced in the foreign land, it involved a dynamic but volatile and violent father figure. Your mom wants some closure and healing before her time is up. If she is healthy enough why not?
 

Oceanis

Well-known member
Thank you all!

:love:

Dear Lin, here is the chart for my mother, as you wanted:
Natal +Transits Chart in Tropical Placidus system.

Thanks again!:love:
 

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Lin

Well-known member
Well, it's hard to know where to begin. She has some very difficult and powerful aspects in her natal chart....and there are some demanding transits happening....such as transit Uranus oppose Mercury. Also transit Jupiter square natal Jupiter. This is particularly demanding. Jupiter is a big force and the squares are demanding.

But you haven't said....ARE there still siblings and others alive from her generation to go and visit even if she was in good health?

And then there is her state of mind. If she is even above average in the "mental health" department (most people even younger than she get a little confused and irrational as they age ) there is NO guarantee that anyone would be (even ideally) equal to her in the desire to "make up."

YOu don't say where you live or how long a plane trip it would be - and other forms of travel....not to mention expense.

Assuming you have an average income, this would be a time consuming and expensive expedition with NO guarantee that she would get the outcome she seems to want. Sometimes we idealize things and forget, as we get older WHY we had the falling out we did with certain people....and then when we are with them again we remember why....

If this were me......and I also have an average income....I would enlist the help of her personal doctor and have her told that a trip of this length and complications of planes (often older people get ill on long plane trips as the air filtering systems are far from safe....no matter what airline you take) would be putting her life in peril and that she might get ill and/or find other physical difficulties while taking this excursion....and that he could not in good conscience recommend that she do this....it would be very risky.

You could also do some research regarding cost and tell her that it's out of your league financially.....you just can't afford the time and money it would take....esp. since you would be "playing it by ear" - and it really IS a gamble (really).

If you told her these things would it be close to the truth? That it would possibly be financially damaging and almost impossible regarding the time you would be away??

I am sure she has thought about doing this for a long time. Probably years. But it's possible that she now realizes that her time may be short. And she sincerely WANTS to do this....but even tho "the spirit is willing the flesh is definitely weak".....

This of course is compounded by the fact that she has probably lost friends and is lonely where she is now and wants this fantasy she has created for herself.

However: the big IF.....is that IF you can afford the time and money, and IF you and she would have a definite place to stay (a friend or other person who would have room) and IF once you got to Italy the trip to this place would be a short taxi drive......and if her doctor gives the OK as far as her medication, etc.....
then it would be up to you. If you don't WANT to do this - which is what I sense - then I would go with the plan to have her doctor speak to her as I mentioned above and tell her how dangerous it could be.

Personally, I feel that fences can't be mended at advanced ages. People tend to get more fixed and less tolerant as they age. If her siblings and others have not made advances up till now, her going there, I believe, would be very disillusioning and depressing for her.

If there is something you can do where you live to engage her interests, that would be best; but I know how hard this is. At any age. Once you can't get around by yourself and have multiple health issues etc, and your friends have died or cannot leave home, it is very difficult and sad.

Has anything I have said made sense to you? If you have more to say or other questions let me know,
LIN
By the way, transit Saturn is square her Venus now in the 11th house. that is not conducive to future plans being carried out successfully. And as Saturn moves on it squares her Sun in Libra....so again, what I said above about changes of environment, travel and plans is actually proven out by this Saturn transit.
 
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Oceanis

Well-known member
Dear Lin,
Thanks so very much.

At this stage, her insecurities make her controlling and demanding, and I am too exhausted to have a clear judgment.
 
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Lin

Well-known member
If you could read and answer my questions above I might have more to tell you.

But all her antics are both part of her nature and a lot about her age. You need to speak with her personal doctor about her mental and emotional state. He might suggest medication or anti depressants or other treatment.

But if she actually LIVES with you, then you are the head of the family and she has to be told that if she wants to continue to live with you she cannot continue to create chaos in the family.

Perhaps one time she wants to "leave" you should try telling her, "ok.....go."
You are not responsible for her life. You certainly cannot make her happy. It is not your job. If she packs a valise and leaves she won't get far. I assume she no longer takes care of her own finances? YOu didn't say.
LIN
as for natal aspects, she has a grand square in fixed signs. a very difficult pattern which she has lived all her life.
So losing "power" is a trauma for her. It is to be expected. Probably age crept up on her and she has never had any sort of counseling or group counseling or anything to discuss aging. Which is an issue that more and more is something the world community will have to find a way to navigate. People are living longer but not better.

By the way, transit Saturn is not your friend either. It is making a t-square from Capricorn to your Aries and Libra planets. So....what you are dealing with shows in your chart. YOU have to change the rules. If you want to come out of this sanely.

I read on another thread that she is not sleeping. She needs to sleep. And YOU need to sleep. Your doctor should prescribe a mild tranquilizer for her and also melatonin which can be found in any drugstore.
 
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Lin

Well-known member
By the way, you say this has "hurt" you. You need to NOT take this personally. YOu are thinking of your mother as the rational person she was in the past. Or at least the familiar person she was. This need to "go home" is something totally apart from you and your relationship with her. It's instinct. And transits. Powerful transits. And fantasy.
So don't take this as any personal war against YOU as a person or her child.
You can't know what is going on in her head. I know this is hard for you to put into perspective but you have to try.
LIN
 

Oceanis

Well-known member
Dear Lin, THANK YOU

I feel so grateful to you, I'd be happy to return the courtesy and see your own chart. Apologies for late and short responses to all your great points.
Yes, she'll be seeing a doctor this coming week, and we'll try to change her mind.
Thanks again.
 
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Lin

Well-known member
If the doctor gives the OK....and if your mother can take all her medication with her, then you must call your family and ask them if THEY ARE WILLING TO TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING THAT BEFALLS HER ON THIS TRIP - since they are pretty much insisting. they must agree to this "in writing" because later they can say anything they want if something goes wrong.

I assume you and she would stay with your siblings. If ALL this can be arranged IN WRITING before you leave, then you have to make a choice. Since they already are estranged from you, it should not be a hardship if they continue to blame you. There is nothing left for them to get financially, so how can they hurt you? And why would you care?
I keep going back to that transits of Saturn in your mother's chart. It is NOT conducive to fulfilling a goal as I said in the post above.

this is what I said, "By the way, transit Saturn is square her Venus now in the 11th house. that is not conducive to future plans being carried out successfully. And as Saturn moves on it squares her Sun in Libra....so again, what I said above about changes of environment, travel and plans is actually proven out by this Saturn transit."

It just occurred to me that she may have an actual date in mind if not tickets. She MUST pay for the tickets herself for both of you...if you go. You have to make the rules. If there is a date she has in mind, let me know what it is.
The one thing you must know is that this is almost over.....it is her last request and if she, her doctor and your siblings all agree and take responsibility, then if you think you will feel better if you accede to this request - well- again - the last thing. Even if she gets sick or worse on the trip everyone will know you were against it and you will not have to feel guilt.

LIN
 
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