Unstable

I'm almost unable to end all the ideas or projects that I enter... I do not know what I want about life, and one day i'm very optimistic and I think that I've found a enthusiastic goal, the next day i feel without strength to go ahead, and I'm always changing my mind... my thoughts... I never was sure about what I wanted to study, but I enter in the college and came to another country to live with my boyfriend... the reason was not love, the reason was because I spent a money on my account that was supposed to be for my college, but I was afraid of my father know that, and one night I ran away... whithout telling anyone... I left a letter in the closet. I put my sister to sleep and I cried... she was 9 years...But I left anyway...Coward...
My mother died when I was 14...my sister 5...
passed 3 years of leaving home I still mourning what I had... my sister close to me, my grandparents... my youth... I miss everything... i think that I'm crazy... Things with my boyfriend are ok, we are living together for 3 years, and it's always fine... But... everyday I think the word "home" and comes to my mind, my sister, my grandparent's... (we lived with them)... I do not have hobbys... and I have a job in a hotel, cleaning, and I feel so frustrated... I had also discriminating scenes in this job... The only thing that I like to do, is writing... but even that, for years... I do not write...

I do not know where i'm going, nor what I want... the only sure I have, is that I feel, I am in each breath I take.
I am, just that, I know that I live... but what I am, I don't know...

oh hey! we have the same moon sign! anyway.. just thought I'd point that out.. I haven't really experienced what you've had to deal with, but I know it feels terrible... you should seriously start writing more, at least that way, you have an outlet to burn away bad feelings... it will be good for you..