Hello to you all. I am turning to you with a request for help - just a humble opinion on something that is going on in my life.
The past two years were equivalent to an earthquake for me. I started living on my own, I worked hard and achieved some of my dreams recently, I traveled a lot, I moved to another city, etc.
What concerns me is, of course, love and the way it has affected me these past two years. I thought I had found true love, as I was always the type who wanted to be with one man, the one, for the rest of her life and I have always fought for my relationship, never left when times were hard (i will attribute that to my 7th house Sat). However, in early october last year, I fell for a guy at work and I ditched my two- year relationship. It was not a perfect one - ive had my share of abuse, verbal and sometimes physical, but I felt and I still feel a deep mental and spiritual connection with that man - I can not get him off my mind, even though I am in a new rel at the current time and I truly feel happy when I am with my new partner.
However, there are feelings of guilt, the feeling that I have betrayed my ex (I did not cheat, I left him, told the truth), there is a feeling of sin (i don't know how else to explain it) for being with another man. I am not religious.
Tell me - how do I sort these feelings out? Is there something Karmic in my relationship with my first man and is that the reason why I am constantly with him mentally, even though I do not want to go back together with him, as I know that we don't work out?
Should I go back or should I go on with my life, feeling this strange connection and learning to live with it? I have this instinct to fight for my old relationship, to work, to sacrifice... but I was unhappy. I don't have the same connection in my current relationship, but it does make me happy, it makes me feel cherished, good. What do I do?
Thank you in advance for all your help
the charts: 1st is mine, 2nd is of my first relationship, 3rd is of my current one
The past two years were equivalent to an earthquake for me. I started living on my own, I worked hard and achieved some of my dreams recently, I traveled a lot, I moved to another city, etc.
What concerns me is, of course, love and the way it has affected me these past two years. I thought I had found true love, as I was always the type who wanted to be with one man, the one, for the rest of her life and I have always fought for my relationship, never left when times were hard (i will attribute that to my 7th house Sat). However, in early october last year, I fell for a guy at work and I ditched my two- year relationship. It was not a perfect one - ive had my share of abuse, verbal and sometimes physical, but I felt and I still feel a deep mental and spiritual connection with that man - I can not get him off my mind, even though I am in a new rel at the current time and I truly feel happy when I am with my new partner.
However, there are feelings of guilt, the feeling that I have betrayed my ex (I did not cheat, I left him, told the truth), there is a feeling of sin (i don't know how else to explain it) for being with another man. I am not religious.
Tell me - how do I sort these feelings out? Is there something Karmic in my relationship with my first man and is that the reason why I am constantly with him mentally, even though I do not want to go back together with him, as I know that we don't work out?
Should I go back or should I go on with my life, feeling this strange connection and learning to live with it? I have this instinct to fight for my old relationship, to work, to sacrifice... but I was unhappy. I don't have the same connection in my current relationship, but it does make me happy, it makes me feel cherished, good. What do I do?
Thank you in advance for all your help
the charts: 1st is mine, 2nd is of my first relationship, 3rd is of my current one
