This relationship is consuming my life

Venusinlibra

Venusinlibra

Well-known member
I have always joked with my friends about the fact that astrology only survives thanks to romantic anxieties. Now I feel ashamed to be caught up in a feeling - it's not even a relationship exactly yet - in which everything seems to lead to disaster and I can not stop that train. I met this guy at some friends' cafe, where I always go to happy hour. It was electric and instantaneous. He's 20 years younger than me, comes from a totally different background. I'm completely obsessed with him, and he knows, and he's kidding me, I guess. One day he embraces me and I almost melt, but he does not kiss me. He told my friends that he felt something so powerful when we embraced that he was paralyzed and could not kiss me. The next day, he was cold. He never calls me, and he responds in a formal way mostly of time when I start a conversation. Then, suddenly, he smiles and seems to like me and chat a lot. He is breaking up and says he is very guilty of having left his wife, but I do not think that this is enough to stop a man from looking for the woman he wants. He does not want me, at least not as much as I want him. Today I researched a list of astrological aspects that cause sexual attraction and our synastry is amazing, it's all there. His mars+venus conjunction, falling in my 8th, conjunct my jupiter and my chiron, opposite my pluto, trine my moon and my asc. My mars exactly over his ascendant, opposite his moon and his neptune. His moon trine my sun and my uranus. His sun in my 7th, 7 degrees from my vertex, conjunct his own vertex and both trine my venus. Looking at our personal charts, I´ve seen transiting neptune is over his venus at 8th/9th, and progressed venus over his midheaven. Myprogressed sun is trining my vertex, and T-pluto is almost on my 7th, square my natal venus and opposite my natal moon. I've lost 5 kg in few days, I can not sleep or work, I behave as childish as a teen... Please, do you think something good can come from such a relationship? I have already done dozens of horary consultations, they all say he is not interested and noting will happen... But with all this aspects, is it possible, is it so one-sided? Attached, our synastry - not so bad - and our composite map - very bad.
 

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thelivingsky

Well-known member
I put a lot of stock in the Composite Chart and this one is full of things that would make for a magnetic attraction and relationship compatability. Stelliums and conjunctions with the Moon or the Sun create great and almost instant feelings of sympatico and attraction and this chart has both. The Moon is conjunct Pluto and Uranus - Pluto makes for the obsessive, highly emotional nature of the relationship and Uranus in the same spot intensifies this and adds more excitement. The stelliums sextile each other and that strengthens them. No wonder you feel they way you do.

The Sun stellium sextiles Jupiter which helps it, strengthens it and creates optimism. I think the mars/venus trine is too wide to consider since its 9 degrees. Having the NNode near the ASC is usually a good indicator also. I think this could be quite a pleasant relationship for some time but it will always have a heightened or intense emotional quality and that can actually be quite tiring over time.

But the age difference is a pragmatic consideration and with your Cancer AScendant and you being the older partner could you handle it if he left you in 5 or 10 years for someone younger? There are some things even great astrology cannot overcome. If you could accept the fact that it might be short-lived, it could be quite an exciting liason. But if he doesn't want it then there really is nothing you can do. Astrology does not tell you what will happen only what the potential is, what the relationship will be like if the partners decide to have a go at it. but now you know what a really strong composite looks like: Stelliums or conjunctions with the luminaries that are supported by trines or sextiles. Also, no multiple oppositions, no t-squares, the luminaries are not in the "bad" houses for romance being H6 and H12, the Nnode on the ASc or with the luminaries or square the stelliums or square the ASC.

Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.com
 
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K

katydid

Well-known member
I am not sure that it is this relationship that is doing that.

I think this relationship is giving you the opportunity to see where you have weaknesses and blindspots.

I can easily see why you are so amazingly drawn to him. His venus/mars conjunction in pisces must be adorably scrumptious. That opposes your Virgo stuff making it feel like a magnetic pull.

However, your Mars in the 12th might indicate that you don't see men very clearly at times. Things get foggy, especially when your emotions are triggered, as your Moon is in that 12th too.

I think you may attribute 'incorrect' motives or feelings to males you are close to--you may be mistaken about how they really feel or what they desire. You see them how you wish them to be.

With this man, his moon/neptune opposes your 12th house mars. And it squares your mercury. He totally confuses you.

HE IS A MIRAGE. :sideways:

You cannot see him clearly nor do you recognize his true intentions.:pouty:

I think he is messing with you for the fun of it. He has no intentions of ever having a relationship with you. And I think you already know that. :whistling:


So what is the lesson for you here? Why are you starving yourself, harming your health, messing up other parts of your life, for someone who is just playing you?

What is the pattern here? What is it about your 12th house Mars? Are you too trusting? Do you always want to believe in the BEST of others and try to believe in them no matter what they do? Do you choose to accept their word, to avoid confrontation?

This situation can be used as a positive in your life now. You can get a handle on this and get your power back.

Mars in the 12th tends to give their power to others as they sometimes feel powerless and victimized by the strength of their desires and unrequited love.

TIME TO RECLAIM THAT....:happy:
 
K

kshantaram

Premium Member
moons cancer-cap opp enemy signs lords moon-sat,
not primarily emotionally compatible, prone to severe conflict;

moon cancer sensitive, intuitive, possessive;
moon cap ambitious, hardworking, practical, reserved;


wishing well, hope find helpful to reflect, share feedback,


kshantaram
 
M

muchacho

Well-known member
Venusinlibra said:
I have always joked with my friends about the fact that astrology only survives thanks to romantic anxieties. Now I feel ashamed to be caught up in a feeling - it's not even a relationship exactly yet - in which everything seems to lead to disaster and I can not stop that train. I met this guy at some friends' cafe, where I always go to happy hour. It was electric and instantaneous. He's 20 years younger than me, comes from a totally different background. I'm completely obsessed with him, and he knows, and he's kidding me, I guess. One day he embraces me and I almost melt, but he does not kiss me. He told my friends that he felt something so powerful when we embraced that he was paralyzed and could not kiss me. The next day, he was cold. He never calls me, and he responds in a formal way mostly of time when I start a conversation. Then, suddenly, he smiles and seems to like me and chat a lot. He is breaking up and says he is very guilty of having left his wife, but I do not think that this is enough to stop a man from looking for the woman he wants. He does not want me, at least not as much as I want him. Today I researched a list of astrological aspects that cause sexual attraction and our synastry is amazing, it's all there. His mars+venus conjunction, falling in my 8th, conjunct my jupiter and my chiron, opposite my pluto, trine my moon and my asc. My mars exactly over his ascendant, opposite his moon and his neptune. His moon trine my sun and my uranus. His sun in my 7th, 7 degrees from my vertex, conjunct his own vertex and both trine my venus. Looking at our personal charts, I´ve seen transiting neptune is over his venus at 8th/9th, and progressed venus over his midheaven. Myprogressed sun is trining my vertex, and T-pluto is almost on my 7th, square my natal venus and opposite my natal moon. I've lost 5 kg in few days, I can not sleep or work, I behave as childish as a teen... Please, do you think something good can come from such a relationship? I have already done dozens of horary consultations, they all say he is not interested and noting will happen... But with all this aspects, is it possible, is it so one-sided? Attached, our synastry - not so bad - and our composite map - very bad.
Click to expand...
I actually think the composite looks a lot better than the synastry. The composite does indicate a love relationship with deeper feelings. Looking at the synastry (using whole sign houses), he triggers your 1st (self-image), 7th (spouse) and 8th (deep existential bonds). You trigger his 3rd (siblings) and mostly his 1st as well. So the deep feelings seem to be mostly on your part only. I agree with the horary here.
 
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